


Saving Me

by spitfiresparrow



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:35:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21871105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spitfiresparrow/pseuds/spitfiresparrow
Summary: Warning! TROS Spoilers Ahead!Palpatine is finally defeated but at what cost?As Ben and Rey hold each other in the aftermath on Exegol something’s got to give, and when Ben collapses Rey knows she will do anything to keep him safe.A bit of a TROS Fix-It in which Ben is weak but still alive, and he and Rey get to know each other properly as they rebuild their strength following the final battle.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 717
Kudos: 1104





	1. Chapter 1

Every part of his body ached but Ben pushed through the pain as he climbed the wall of the pit, he could feel Rey’s life force dwindling. He needed to get to her before it was too late.

Relief flooded through him as his hand finally reached the top of his climb but his whole body soon turned to ice at the scene before his eyes. There was no trace of Palpatine, she had done it, she must have ended him, but there was no time for Ben to feel the pride and relief because Rey’s body lay limp on the cold ground ahead. 

Clutching his side Ben dragged himself to his feet and to Rey as quickly as he could. 

He couldn’t feel her in the force anymore but he had to believe that it wasn’t too late, collapsing on the floor beside her body it took everything in him to hold in a sob. Her eyes stared past him, cold and lifeless. 

_You’re too late. You’ve failed her._

He scolded himself inwardly as he sat beside Rey, pulling her limp frame into his arms. 

Ben couldn’t remember ever being this close to another person beside his parents, and he certainly had never held anyone with such tenderness. 

_I came home. To you...Rey._

He willed his thoughts to find her, to speak to her through their bond, but the connection remained shut. 

_No. Don’t do this, Rey. Not now._

He cradled her body to his, she was already cold and he wished he could transfer some of his own heat and bring her back. 

_Bring her back…_

On the wreckage of the Death Star she had surprised him once again with the raw power she possessed, placing her hand over his wound and healing him as if it were nothing. Was he strong enough to do the same for her? 

_Whatever it takes. I’ll find a way._

With a deep breath he placed his large hand, free of his usual gloves, against her torso and squeezed his eyes shut in concentration. He could feel the taut muscle of her stomach beneath his hand and any other time his heart would be racing at the thought of touching her, but right now his heart was broken, just like her body and he knew he had to find a way to save her. 

Ben did everything he could to clear his mind and just let the force flow through him. The Dark. The Light. Whatever it took to pass on his own life force for this girl, this scavenger, this hero. 

It felt like an age past. Rey limp in his arms and Ben just praying to anyone who would listen that this could work. 

And when her hand found his he felt the spark of their bond come back life with her. Ben’s breath caught in his throat as he lifted his head to meet her eyes, wide and full of warmth once more.

He could barely breathe as his head finally seemed to catch up, realising it had worked, she was back and she was sitting up in his arms, searching his eyes. 

The touch of her fingers to his face sent a spark of energy through his body and he lifted his eyes to meet hers as she traced the place where she had healed his scar only hours before. 

“Ben” she whispered and he felt the emotion through their bond. Like him she couldn’t believe they were both here, like this. Safe. 

He smiled softly, his eyes fixed on hers as he tried to find words, but she didn’t give him the chance, bridging the gap between them and pressing her lips to his. 

Ben had never been kissed. He had no idea what to expect, but he had dreamt of it. He had dreamt of her. Those lonely nights after he had killed Snoke, after she had left him, he had allowed himself a few moments of weakness where she’d invaded his dreams and made him feel like he might matter after all. But then he would wake and snuff out that hope. 

This was different though. This was real, and this was everything. 

This was Ben Solo being accepted and wanted by the literal girl of his dreams. 

He kissed her back, his arms holding her closer to him, as he tried to give everything to her. Neither of them knew what they were doing, it was a little clumsy, a little awkward but it was perfect.

When Rey broke away he felt a slight pang of disappointment but it soon evaporated at the sight of the beautiful smile on her face. He couldn’t help the way a toothy grin broke out across his face as he looked back. 

He had so much to tell her. So much to ask. But right now nothing mattered other than the fact that this beautiful, brave, strong woman was alive and smiling in his arms. 

But then he felt it. Life draining from him, his hold on Rey loosening as he fell backwards to the cold ground. 

“Ben?” 

Rey fell with him, panic filled her wide eyes, her hands reaching out to grab any part of him she could reach.

“No” she sobbed, “Ben, please don’t do this” she begged, her hands cupping his face. “Ben…” she whispered through tears as she collapsed against his limp body. 

_I need you._

Pushing herself to her knees Rey reached out and tried to lift his body. He was much bigger than her, but when had Rey ever backed down because she felt too weak?

She knew that they couldn’t stay here, in this horrible place, on this vile planet that was trying to take Ben Solo away from her when he had only just come back to her. 

“I’ve got you” she whispered, dragging him into a sitting position. Her entire body ached and as she looked up at the fight still raging above them she had no idea how she could get them both out of this. 

_I can do this. I can do this._

She repeated the mantra in her head until her own words were overtaken by words of encouragement by those Jedi who had come before her. 

She was all of the Jedi now, and if she could channel all of that power there had to be a chance they could make it out of here. 

\---

She hated to leave Luke’s old X-Wing behind in this horrible place, but the TIE was faster, had more room for the two of them and was more likely to have some medical packs. 

“You’re going to be okay” she said forcefully as she dragged Ben’s body into the co-pilot’s seat, strapping him in. 

“I’m going to get us out of this, Ben” she promised, fingers brushing the skin where she had scarred him so long ago now. She couldn’t believe the scar was gone, along with Kylo Ren. She had hoped for this for so long. 

_I can do this._

With a deep breath Rey strapped herself into the pilot’s seat and fired up the TIE Fighter.


	2. Chapter 2

The island was cool where Exegol was humid, wet instead of dry, peaceful instead of wars raging. It had been two days since Rey had landed the TIE on Ahch-To, beside the burnt remains of Kylo Ren’s Silencer - there was perhaps some irony in that she thought. 

It had been two days since she had carried - dragged - his body up the first set of steps seeking shelter. Two days since the caretakers had taken pity, offered their cart and helped to get Ben Solo to the hut where he had changed her life forever. 

As Rey sat huddled by a small fire, shawl across her shoulders and watching the steady rise and fall of his chest on the cot across the room, she thought about that day that seemed lightyears ago now. The day where she had finally let down her walls and let him in. The day she decided she didn’t want to be alone anymore, and hoped against hope that Ben would tell her she didn’t have to be. 

It hadn’t quite gone to plan exactly. It had taken a little longer to strip away the years of Snoke’s - Palpatine’s - handiwork in creating Kylo Ren. But that day, when Rey had touched that man’s hand in this very room, everything had changed. It had been the start of something, and Rey just hoped that this wasn’t already the end. 

With a heavy sigh Rey tugged the shawl tighter around her and let her eyes fall shut, letting the exhaustion of the past few months finally catch up to her as she fell asleep in her chair. 

\--

_“From the power of your bond, I am reborn!”_

__

__

There was no humour in the cackle that emitted from the ghoulish form of Palpatine, it was pure menace and it was like ice to the veins. 

“I am all of the Sith” 

He was going to win. He would destroy Rey, and then he would take the Galaxy and there was nothing Ben could do to stop it. 

Why had he been so foolish? He had felt the pull to the light and he had resisted it for so long. And now the light was about to be snuffed out. 

Ben watched helplessly as Rey writhed on the floor, the blue lightning emitting from the Emperor’s fingers would claim her at any moment. 

They had lost. 

“Rey, please, no!”

Rey was jolted awake by the sudden scream and she instinctively reached for her staff only to find thin air. For a moment she thought she was back in Jakku, curled up in her AT-AT but then her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she recognised the spherical structure of the hut on Ahch-To. 

“Ben?”

The cry had come from the cot, and even though his eyes were still closed he writhed in pain. 

“Ben -” She moved instantly from her chair to his side, her hands reaching for him. 

“Ben, you’re okay…” she tried to reassure him, her hands reaching to cup his face. He was sweating, but his body was icy to touch. 

“It’s okay, you’re -”

Her words were cut off along with her supply of oxygen as a large hand found it’s way around her throat and squeezed hard. 

His eyes were open, but they stared at her emptily, glazed and unaware of what was ahead of him.

“B-” she struggled against his strength, gasping for air, trying to scream his name and make him stop but she couldn’t. 

And just as she thought she was about to take her last breath the grip on her throat was loosened and she fell to her knees gasping for breath. 

“Rey?”

Her hands instinctively went to her own throat as she coughed, trying to regain her breath.

“Rey, what - did I…” 

He sat up, his eyes were finally aware of what was happening and worry reflected in them as he reached out. 

Rey recoiled, her free hand reaching out in front of her to tell him to stop. 

Worry, confusion and then disgust flashed across his face, his too expressive face, and he stepped back. 

“I -”

“It’s okay” she managed to choke out, taking another moment to just regain her breath before she looked up at him.

The torment in his eyes broke her. 

“Ben, it’s okay…” she promised, taking a step towards him and this time he recoiled, his knees hitting the back of the cot as he fell back onto it. 

“I’m sorry - I -”

“It’s alright” she insist, watching as he sat hunched on the cot, terrified of what he had done. 

He was a tall man, had been a terrifying monster to her at one point, but right now sat on that cot he looked tiny, he looked so young. 

“Are you - you’ve…” she didn’t know what to say. 

Rey had spent days praying that he would be okay, that he would wake up, but she had never prepared for what would happen if he did. 

“What happened? W-where are we?” his voice was so soft, there was no trace of Kylo Ren in it and Rey’s heart swelled at the thought of this being Ben and only Ben. 

“We’re on Ahch-To” she answered, her voice taking on that business-like tone that she had found herself having to use so often over the last few years, trying to make the Resistance think of her as more than just a Scavenger who had never left Jakku before. 

“You were hurt on Exegol, I took your TIE Fighter and flew us here to L -” she continued only for him to interrupt as he realised where they were. 

“Luke’s island”

Rey nodded, her eyes finding the floor as she struggled to hold his gaze. 

“And Palpatine?” His tone was hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Out of the corner of her eye she could see his fist clenched, always ready for a fight should there be one.

“Gone. We won” Rey’s voice was soft, nervous. 

A sigh of relief passed Ben’s lips and when Rey glanced up at him his head was bowed and his eyes closed, like he was letting a weight fall off his shoulders. 

“Ben, I -”

His eyes fluttered open and he lifted his head to meet her gaze and she was frozen for a moment. 

She had always hated his mask, at first because it made him seem like the monster he had tried to be, but then once she had seen the soulful gaze of Ben Solo she had despised that mask that hid it from her. 

He was beautiful. Broken, but beautiful perhaps because of it. 

_Will he ever think of me the same?_

“You saved me” she whispered after what felt like forever, her eyes staring back into his, searching his face trying to understand what his expression was telling her. “I - thank you” she breathed, a small smile crossing her lips and growing tenfold as she saw a smile appear on his face. 

He was even more beautiful when he let himself smile. 

She wanted to reach out for him, to thank him with more than her words, but the intensity of his gaze, of this whole moment, terrified her and she looked away. 

“You must be hungry” she said as she turned away from him. “I’ll see if I can find us something” 

And with that she was closing the metal door behind her and getting herself as far away from Ben as she could. 

\---

“Rey?”

They had been eating in silence, both too scared to say the wrong thing. 

“Hm?”

Ben didn’t answer immediately, and she watched him curiously over the bowl of soup she had managed to make them. 

Often his eyes said a lot, but right now she couldn’t read him. And she couldn’t hear his thoughts either. She had tried, a few times now, to push past the barrier and see what he was feeling but to no avail. She wasn’t sure if he had the strength to be resisting their bond, but perhaps it was because his force signature was weak right now that she couldn’t feel him. She was terrified to consider that somehow their bond had been severed when Palpatine had used it to heal himself.

“Where are the Resistance? Why are we here?”

His voice brought her back to the small hut they sat in, her eyes searching his as she thought about her answer.

“I don’t know” she admitted.

“Where they are? Or why we’re here?” he asked, a tiny smile on the corner of his lips.

This was a good sign, that he was teasing her, right?

Rey shrugged, a small smile on her face too. 

“After you saved me you passed out” she explained and he nodded. “I thought I’d lost you” she tried not to dwell on how her words could have been interpreted. “I just knew I needed to get us somewhere safe, the Final Order fleet had been destroyed, the Resistance were safe. They didn’t need me, but y-” she paused, scared to say it in case he laughed at her.

“But I did” he finished her sentence.

Rey smiled softly. “This was the first place I could think of where we’d be safe”

 _Where we wouldn’t have to fight anyone._

“I wasn’t sure bringing the Supreme Leader of the First Order to a Resistance base would go down well” she admitted softly.

_Why didn’t you leave me to die on Exegol?_

His thoughts brushed against her mind but she was unsure whether she imagined them or not. 

His eyes were avoiding hers and she knew he would not voice his query anyway. 

It felt like the silence last forever before he spoke once more. 

“Thank you” his words were barely a whisper but they set her heart pounding. 

“You too” she whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Things carried on this way for the next few days. 

Ben was weak but he would wake for a few hours each day. Rey would busy herself learning to fish just like Master Luke had but each day she would return empty handed and instead make some kind of soup or stew from the vegetables she found around the island. 

They would eat in silence, share a few words later and then he would struggle back to his bed whilst Rey curled up on a thin mat on the floor. Even with her back to him and their bond closed she could feel the weight of his gaze on her as she drifted off to sleep. 

Whatever he wanted to say he couldn’t seem to form the words. 

\--

By their second week on the island Ben was gaining his strength and would spend the afternoons sitting at the bottom of the stairs, the wind of the island whipping through his hair. 

It reminded her how beautiful he was. 

It also made her more uneasy around him. It turned out that being around Ben Solo was so much more terrifying to Rey than being around Kylo Ren. But for very different reasons. 

He hadn’t mentioned the kiss. She wasn’t even sure that he remembered it (and maybe that was for the best), but during those early mornings where she traversed the island looking for food, whilst Ben slept, she couldn’t help but relive that moment. 

His lips had been so warm against hers, a fire burned in her belly, her heart pounding in her chest and she couldn’t quite be sure where she ended and he began. 

This had never been the plan. The Last Jedi was not meant to find herself infatuated. 

He was Ben. He was her - friend? She wasn’t sure if they were friends. They had been enemies. But they were also so much more. They were two halves of a whole and it terrified her how much she liked the thought of it - the thought of Ben Solo being made for her (whether that be as her friend, her mentor perhaps, enemy or something a lot more). 

Rey had never really had these feelings before. 

Sure she had longed for companionship or friendship. She had been alone her whole life and had hated it. But she had never kissed anyone before Ben, she had never really even considered it. 

But in that moment, in his arms, knowing that Ben Solo had returned from the Dark to help her she had been overwhelmed and had needed to feel a physical connection with him. 

On Jakku there were men, sometimes even women, who would try to win her attention but Rey had never felt that desire to give herself to anyone. She had never had an interest in those fleeting moments of pleasure that they offered, nor had there ever been a chance of something more. (She hadn’t even had someone to call a friend on Jakku).

On Jakku she was alone, and she was safer that way and so she had shut herself off from anything other than her desire to be reunited with her family.

But now it was like something had awoken, she felt it pulsing through her like the force, that desire to belong to Ben Solo and give him anything he desired. 

“He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order” she told herself as she climbed the cliffside in her search for something new to eat tonight. “Probably had his pick of women” She used all her strength to pull her body over the side of the cliff. “Each one with more to offer than a filthy scavenger” she muttered to herself as she began her descent back down to the huts. 

As much as Rey tried to stop herself from thinking about her first kiss and how it had felt to be so connected with him, she couldn’t help but see that smile that had lit up his face. In that moment he had been happy, truly happier than he had ever been. She had felt it pulsing through the force. Before his force signature had been gone and he had laid limp in her arms. 

Being alone on this island with him was going to drive her crazy. The sooner he regained his strength and decided to leave her - because surely he would, who would want to stay for a scavenger - the better. 

It was easier to tell herself that anyway. That way she could pre-empt the pain, and hopefully this next abandonment wouldn’t be so bad.

It would. 

—

“You’re shivering”

It wasn’t a question, and she could feel his gaze on her.

All of Rey’s muscles ached from how tightly she was hunched, trying to keep herself warm.

“It’s cold”

“It’s not so bad” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“But you are from Jakku” he added after a moment as if answering his own unspoken question.

Rey kept her eyes closed tight, fingers digging into the thin blanket she had wrapped around herself and ignoring the soft rustling of clothes as Ben moved.

“Join me?”

_Rey, I want you to join me._

_We can rule together._

_The next time I offer you my hand…_

She was broken out of her memories by the sound of his voice. 

“You’re cold, Rey” his voice was almost a whisper. “I promise I won’t touch you, but it’ll be warmer this way”

She allowed herself to lift her head, and she could see how he had pressed himself against the wall of the hut, trying to make room for her. The cot was so tiny, there was no way their bodies wouldn’t touch if she joined him. 

She supposed he meant he wouldn’t touch her any more than possible - and that thought was like a breath of wind blowing out the growing flame in her heart.

“You need to rest” she whispered, her voice trembling. She hoped he couldn’t tell how nervous she get at the thought of this. 

She couldn’t lay beside him. Could she?

“Yes” Ben agreed. “And I’m hardly getting it with the sound of your teeth chattering”

Rey rolled her eyes but she could feel the smile in his tone and the flame inside her tried to spark back to life. 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything” There was the flame dampened once more, “It’s just warmth” 

Rey really needed to stop thinking about something that was never going to happen. He was innocently offering her his body heat and she was too busy wondering about it being improper. 

“The moment it gets uncomfortable for you tell me and I’ll move” She insist with a sigh and carefully took the place beside him on the tiny cot. 

She instantly felt warmer.

“What are y- oh” 

“Sorry” he mumbled awkwardly as he moved his arm, trying his best not to rest it somewhere that got in her way - it was proving quite impossible.

Rey sighed and reached for his hand, “Just -“ she tugged his arm down across her stomach. “It doesn’t mean anything” she insist even if she hated herself for saying it. “But it's fine there” she insist, unsure who she was trying to convince.

Having his arm wrapped tightly around her waist for the whole night was surely not going to go well, right?

Her head was likely going to explode from overthinking this. But this felt so good. This felt right. 

“Your blanket…”

“Oh”

She didn’t really know how to tell him she didn’t need the blanket. His body was so warm that she already felt ten times more comfortable, despite how little room there was for the both of them on this cot. 

“It’s -“ 

Her words were interrupted by his hand reaching out and her blanket lifting from the ground and gravitating towards them.

“You’re using the Force?”

She turned to look at him as he took hold of the blanket and lay it over her. 

“You know I’m not actually dying, don’t you?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re hurt” she answered with a shrug. 

“And I’m regaining my strength” he said simply.

Rey just stared at him, searching his eyes for any sign that he was lying, that he was still close to death. She was still terrified of losing him. 

“Okay” she finally responded, turning back onto her side and tugging his arm back around her. 

It felt nice. She might not be willing to admit what this meant, but she was brave enough to let herself have this moment.

It felt really nice. 

Rey couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so content. She wasn’t sure if she ever had. She didn’t have to keep one eye open for another scavenger looking to steal from her. There was no war raging above them. And there was no Kylo Ren trying time invade her mind and find where she was. No, there was only Ben and he held her in his arms like she was precious.

It was her own ridiculous dream perhaps, but for this one night was would just enjoy it and let herself feel wanted for the first time. 

She felt Ben shift slightly, and she could feel his gaze on her once more as she closed her eyes. 

The only thing was, she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to know what he was thinking, or whether she was glad that the bond was still closed.

Either way, the warmth of his embrace and the comfort of his soft breathing soon lulled her into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read, left kudos and commented so far. This is the last bit that I’ve written so far, so might take a bit longer for an update now! Fingers crossed for later today though


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey’s bond begins to flicker back to life...

When Ben woke the next morning Rey was gone. It was no real surprise to him, unlike the ache in his chest.

_Stop it. Only a fool thinks like that_

Forcing himself to focus on something, anything, but her, Ben sat up and began his day. 

There was a pile of clothes neatly folded on the small table of the hut and Ben slowly made his way over to them. 

They had argued just a few days before when she had tried to make him change out of his battered and bloodied clothing and into some of Luke’s old robes. 

He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t been able to just agree to it. Perhaps the thought of his Uncle judging him for even being in this sacred place, never mind wearing the robes of a Jedi.

But today the clothes were all black. He lifted them and studied the material. They looked like old robes of Luke’s still, but the fact that Rey had gone back and uncovered a set in black touched his heart. It was ridiculous he knew, he didn’t actually have anything against wearing another colour, but the fact that despite everything Rey was trying to help him was enough to make him agree to this.

It took him longer to change than he imagined, it turned out his body ached everywhere. But once he was done he made his way outside of the hut, ignoring the stares from what Rey had told him were caretakers of the island, before sitting down to reheat the food Rey had left for him. 

As he ate his mind wandered to her and without warning their bond sparked to life. 

_She was clinging to the cliff, only a long pole seeming to support her, looking down into the stormy sea below._

_What was she doing? Was she in danger?_

_“Rey?” His voice was soft but his worry was evident in his tone._

_Her eyes lifted and met his across the connection, wide-eyed and fearful as her grip loosened and she fell from the cliff._

_“Rey!!” He shouted, panic filling his lungs as water filled hers._

His bowl clattered to the floor - much to the chagrin of the caretakers - and he rushed to his feet.

She was in danger. She was drowning.

The adrenaline burned through his body, propelling him down the stairs towards where he could feel her in the force. 

_Hold on._

He hoped she could hear him, that he’d get to her in time. 

Their connection was weakening, she was losing. 

“Hold on, I’m coming”

His chest burned and he wasn’t sure whether it was from the exertion of running down the stairs or the cold water that was suffocating her. 

Ben’s heart stopped in his chest as he reached the water and saw a white-clad figure climbing out of it.

“Rey!”

“Ben?” She lifted her head, eyes meeting his and his whole body flooded with relief. She was safe. 

And then he fell to his knees. The effort of racing towards her catching up on his weakened body.

“Ben!”

Rey rushed towards him, catching him before he could fall any further. 

“What are you -“

Her eyes were wide with worry, searching his face for any signs of injury but there was none, just those deep pools of brown staring back at her. 

“You’re okay” he whispered, the smallest hint of a smile on his face.

“Of course I am” she replied matter of factly, her cold fingers tracing his cheeks and that was when he noticed her sopping wet hair plastered across her face. 

“You fell” he said simply, eyes searching hers worriedly now. “From the cliff”

“What?” How had he known? 

“I saw - I thought -“ his voice faltered, unable to put into words the fear he had felt when he saw her falling to the rough waters. “The bond…” he added as a way of explaining how it had happened. 

“You came for me” She sounded dumbfounded. 

He had thought her in danger and he had come running towards her, despite his injuries.

“Ben…” she whispered, eyes searching his face for an answer. 

Another moment of silence and she would have pulled him to her and kissed him with everything in her. She wanted to taste him on her cold lips, to have his warmth surround her. She wanted to matter. She wanted someone to care about her when she was in danger and he had.

“You’re drenched”

The spell was broken. Ben Solo wasn’t here to pull her into his arms, kiss away her pain and proclaim his love for her. 

(If he was he would have tried something these last few weeks, right? She was a fool for even considering it)

No. Ben was here because he was a good man. He was trying to make sure she was okay. He was her...friend?

“I Uh - I’m fine” she insist, letting go of him and averting her eyes embarrassed. 

“You’re not” He was pulling himself to his feet and it took everything in her to stop from reaching out to help him. “Here” She felt warmth surrounding her but when she lifted her head it was his cloak wrapping around her, not his arms, and she hated that pang of disappointment that flooded through her. 

“Let’s get back to the fire?” He suggested, offering a smile and beginning the slow walk back up the steps.

Rey was silent for most of the walk, just watching him, studying his every move. Ben carried himself so differently to Kylo Ren. With more confidence, and Rey couldn’t quite get her head around that. 

“Are you okay?” She asked as they reached the small clearing with the huts. “How did you make it down there so quickly?”

“I Uh - adrenaline I suppose” he shrugged, eyes avoiding hers. 

“You should rest. You’re still not back to your full strength” she scolded but the small smile she flashed at him said everything. 

_Thank you._

Her thoughts brushed his mind and he smiled in return. 

“You should change, I’ll start the fire”

Rey nodded as he turned to their small campfire and began adding wood to it, her gaze lingering on him for a moment longer. Ben Solo surprised her more and more each day. It was terrifying.

—

When she came back out of the hut she was in fresh clothes. They seemed much too big for her and he presumed they must be some of Luke’s that she had found too. Her hair was tied back in its usual three buns and her face lit up with a bright smile as his gaze met hers. 

“Here” She offered the cloak he had given her earlier. 

“Keep it” he replied softly, “I’m fine”

“There’s so much I don’t understand about you, Ben Solo” she smiled as she sat beside him - closely beside him - the cloak wrapping around her as she reached her cold hands out towards the fire. 

“What’s not to understand?” He asked quietly, filling her bowl with more of the soup they had become accustomed to making. 

“How your body is always so warm for starters” she smiled, taking the bowl and immediately wolfing it down. 

“Yeah well, I don’t understand how a girl so small eats like a Happabore”

Ben knew he had earnt the slap to the arm that he received for his teasing. 

“I am not _small_!”

“Oh that’s the part you take offence to?” He laughed softly, and it was quite possibly the most beautiful thing Rey had ever heard. 

“Shut up” she mumbled, pretending to be annoyed by him but when she lifted her head to fix him with a piercing gaze she just found that same happy, toothy grin staring back at her from the cave on Exegol. 

How could this man have looked so happy to be around her _twice_?

Rey cleared her throat and stood, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest and she was terrified he could hear it. 

“I’m going to bed” she explained, causing him to frown. 

“It’s not that late…” Had he said something wrong? “Rey, you only just -“

“I’m tired. There’s a lot I want to do tomorrow” she deflected, dropping the cloak beside him and hurrying into the hut.

Ben stared at the closed door with a frown. What had he done?

He tried to push their bond, to feel her in the force but there was nothing. He has already used too much of his energy today, he couldn’t break through her walls. 

—

When Ben finally rose, as the fire had almost died out, he quietly moved into the hut they shared. 

The sight of her curled up on the floor cause a sharp pain in his chest. He didn’t know what he had expected but he knew he had hoped she would share the cot with him again tonight. 

Ben moved quietly, crouching beside her and gently placing the cloak over her. She looked cold, but he knew waking her and offering his warmth would not go down well right now.

With a defeated sigh he lay down on the cot, closed his eyes and let the gentle sound of her breathing help him find sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a long one this time, but hopefully worth it...

The next morning when Ben woke Rey was gone. 

But when he made his way out of the hut he was surprised to see her balanced on a nearby rock, lightsaber ignited as she practiced her technique. 

Ben paused and admired her from afar. He had used to think her technique with a lightsaber terrible. She let her anger guide her, she was like a rabid animal, hacking and slashing but the more he had danced this dance with her he had realised there was an art to it. She was unpredictable and never afraid to try something different. And it worked for her. 

She must have sensed his presence because she lifted her head, almost losing her footing and put out the saber, offering him a small smile as she hopped down from the rock. 

“I hope I didn’t wake you” she said softly as she walked over to him, put the saber back in her bag and reached down to fill him a mug of the hot liquid brewing on the fire. “Here, it’s quite refreshing” 

He took the mug silently and followed suit as she sat down by the fire. 

“I’m not really sure what it is, but I found the mugs earlier and it was like - I don’t know, a memory, reminding me of how to make it” she explained as he filled herself a drink. 

“It’s like an echo in the force. A memory of another force-user, that passes to you when you touch a particular item” he explained, taking a sip of the drink. It wasn’t bad, it was better than that soup she had been making them. 

“There’s so much left for me to learn about the Force” she smiled. He could tell she enjoyed learning.

Ben nodded, clutching the warm mug to him closely. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked softly, glancing up at him over her own mug.

“Physically?” he lifted his eyes. 

“I Uh -” she began, confused as to what else he could mean. 

“Fine. Better” His eyes dropped to his mug once more. 

Rey nodded, swallowed her drink. 

“And mentally?”

“I don’t know who I am anymore…” It was like the question had opened a floodgate to his feelings. 

“You’re Ben” she replied without missing a beat, causing him to look up and meet her gaze, his deep eyes searching her for more.

“I don’t know who Ben is anymore” his voice was timid, this was probably the most honest, the most open he had let himself be around her. (Perhaps anyone) It had been years since he had been Ben Solo.

“But I do” Again her response was instant and he continued to stare at her, the face of a scared boy looking to her for help. 

His head shook, “You don’t know him”.

“I know parts of him. And I’m enjoying getting to know him better”

She broke their gaze then, her cheeks reddening slightly (or was he imagining that?).

“Ben is -“ she paused as she looked for the right words. “Ben is that part of you that’s always been there” she said simply, “The part that somehow has always reached out to me. Asking for my help, asking _to_ help. Bridging this - this bond between us” She wouldn’t look at him and he was pleased that it meant she couldn’t see the wonderment that crossed his face as she talked about him that way. 

“Ben is the good, _the hope_ , that kept me fighting all this time”

His heart soared. 

“Ben kept me grounded. He told me to resist the pull to the Dark and instead fight to bring him back to the Light”

He opened his mouth but no words came out. 

“Ben’s my friend” she whispered, reaching out and squeezing his hand gently, sending shocks pulsing through his body. “ _And_ Ben deserves something better to eat than this gruel again” she smiled and stood up, kicking aside her empty bowl of soup. 

And the spell was broken. 

Those words she had just spoken. Had he imagined them? Had she really spoken about him with such passion, only to suddenly change tact.

“I’m going fishing” Rey said determinedly, breaking him out of his thoughts, as she picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder. 

_”That’s_ what you were attempting yesterday!” He said proudly as he finally figured it out, standing too, his body humming from her touch. 

“Attempting? I was doing perfectly well until you surprised me and made me fall!”

Ben raised his eyebrow at her claim.

“ _Okay_ , I was doing better than previous attempts” she shrugged. 

“Let me help?”

“It’s fine. Stay here” Rey gestured to their makeshift camp. 

“You need a teacher” 

The memory of those words caused an involuntary shiver through her body but she shook it off. 

“And besides, I’m bored sitting here all day” he shrugged and she knew there was no changing his mind. 

\---

It was strange to have him come along with her for the days adventure. But not bad strange. 

He had sat atop the cliff, trying to guide her as she tried to keep the spear steady. 

They had argued a few times, but then she had felt him pushing against her walls with his mind and she let him in - eager to feel the warmth that the bond they shared brought. 

She didn’t really know how he had done it, but he had been determined to guide her through the Force, through their bond. 

And when the spear had struck its prey their cheer had been in harmony. 

And when she had turned to him the happiness on his face had nearly knocked her from her perch and into the water below, but his hand reached out and he caught her with his power, helping her readjust her footing and earning a bright smile as she jumped back to the cliffside, dragging the spear up behind her. 

—

“Did you go fishing...you know, before?” she asked in between a mouthful of today’s catch.

“Before?”

“Before Kylo Ren had his dinners brought to him on a silver platter” she replied with a roll of her eyes before taking another mouthful. 

It was the first time she had mentioned his other moniker, and it was a relief that she did it in jest. 

Ben rolled his eyes. 

“They were _not_ silver platters” he scoffed.

“Well I can’t imagine you ate in the canteen with the Stormtroopers” she argued. 

“I _was_ the Supreme Leader”

“Yeah. And now you’re fishing for your dinner with a filthy scavenger. How the mighty have fallen” 

Ben rolled his eyes, hating to admit that he enjoyed this carefree, joking side of her. “At least she won’t be a filthy scavenger when she falls into the sea again” he bit back teasingly. 

“Don’t you dare make that happen again!” She warned.

Silence surrounded them once more as they took a few moments to enjoy their dinner.

“ _So_ did you ever learn to fish before?”

“I grew up on Chandrila, there were beautiful calm seas there. Han - he got restless when he wasn’t on the Falcon” Rey laughed softly at the memory of Ben’s Father, she could definitely see that being the case. “He used to take me out towards the sea, we’d spend hours just trying to figure out how to catch something” he smiled at the memory, and so did Rey. 

“Neither of us knew what we were doing, but we finally caught one”

Her heart swelled with the thought of a young Ben on an adventure with his Father.

“Tell me more about your parents. I only knew them so briefly. I have no idea what it’s like to have parents. To have anyone care for you”

“People care for you, Rey. The pilot, FN2 - Finn…”

“You?” He lifted his eyes and met her gaze. He couldn’t read her expression, but he knew his was one of surprise.

“Yeah. Me” he agreed in a whisper, forcing himself to hold her gaze.

Rey smiled softly, her eyes dropping to her boots for a moment before back up at him. She wasn’t sure she had expected that admission.

“Why?” She asked cautiously. 

Ben took a moment, searching her eyes. Were they really going to do this?

“Because you believed in me. You believed in him - in Ben” he answered. “No matter the horrible things I did to you and your friends, you believed in Ben and you fought to bring him back. You’re amazing, Rey. Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve achieved” the words caught in his throat as he felt a well of emotion. 

“I’m nothing special”

Ben scoffed at that, how could she not see what she was. “You are. To me you always have been” 

Silence fell around them as Ben stared into the dying embers of the fire and Rey stared quietly at her boots, neither having the confidence to continue this dangerous conversation. 

“Do you really think that?” she asked finally, her voice was soft, cautious. 

“You know I do”

She did. She had felt his thoughts, and it amazed her every time. 

“My whole life I’ve been no one-“

“The Force works in strange ways” he explained. “The Jedi - they harness their strength from being alone, from feeling compassion but not desire. From not concerning themselves with things like family, or belonging, just purpose and responsibility when called upon” 

Rey stayed quiet, tugging her shawl tighter around her shoulders, hanging on to his every word. 

“You were alone and you had to fight to survive everyday. That allowed your power to grow” he continued. “And when it awoke inside you…”

“Do you believe that?” She interrupted him, lifting her head, her eyes wide. 

“What?”

“That the Jedi’s power comes from avoiding attachments. That they should know compassion but never love”

“No” his response was instant. “I think it’s ridiculous” 

The intensity of their conversation should have overtaken her feelings but she couldn’t help the happy laugh that escaped her at his words. Here he was on a sacred Jedi island calling the religion ridiculous. 

And she had no idea how much she had needed to hear that.

“A life without love. Loneliness. No one should have to live that way” he continued. “The whole idea of someone having to starve themselves of real companionship just so that they can have the power to protect those who live the life that a Jedi himself could never have is horrible”

“Is that why you turned to the dark side?”

“No” he shook his head. “There was so much more to it, so much more Palpatine was doing to me”

In a way it was a relief to hear him talk about his darkness this way. Where he blamed someone else rather than hating himself. Where he had accepted that he had been a victim in a lot of this.

“But I think the loneliness of my Jedi training, of being away from my family...that helped to lead me down that path…”

Rey nodded.

The times she had wondered about letting the darkness take her had come because she didn’t want to be alone. She had no one in the light, especially after Luke died, but in the dark was Kylo Ren and he had offered her the Galaxy. It had taken everything in her to turn it down.

She wasn’t sure she had the strength to do it again. Should Ben Solo ever offer.

“Can I ask you something?” She spoke in a whisper, the sound of her heart pounding in her chest must have been noticeable to him but he said nothing, just nodded in response to her words.

“Do you remember what happened after you brought me back?”

The pounding of both their hearts filled the silence around them. 

“Yes”

Silence again.

“I’m sorry”

“Why are you sorry?” 

“Because…” 

“Why - why did you do it?” he asked, leaning closer now as though he were hanging onto her every word, about to be let in on a deep dark secret.

And maybe he was.

“Because I’d been waiting for Ben for so long,” she whispered. “Maybe all my life”

His heart ached at her words. 

“And not only did he come when I needed him, when everyone needed him. But he was willing to give his life to give me a chance at living one” 

“I’d do it again”

“I don’t want you to” 

He frowned, watching her carefully. 

“My life isn’t more important than yours, Ben”

He opened his mouth to argue but her glare quietened him. 

“Everything I’ve done, it’s been to bring you back to the light. And I - in that moment I couldn’t believe that someone would do the same for me. And I couldn’t believe that everything I had dreamt of since that first time I saw the man behind the mask was now possible. That I could let my guard down and Ben would be there to catch me, not Kylo Ren” 

Ben was silent. He had no idea what to say. She had dreamt of him, just as he had dreamt of her kiss.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It won’t happen again. I just - no one has ever held me like that and I just - I wanted to know how it would feel to -”

“And how did it feel?” he whispered, his dark eyes piercing her soul as he watched her. 

“Ben…”

“Rey” he responded, her name on his tongue sent a shiver through her body. 

“We can’t” She honestly didn’t know how she possessed the strength to even speak those words when he was looking at her this way.

“Why not? Rey, it’s only the two of us…”

His words hurt. There was no one else to see him with the scavenger. That was what he meant. That it was safe for him to pretend to want her. It hurt more than the lightning that burnt through her body at the hands of Palpatine. 

But the worst part? The worst part was that she didn’t care if this meant nothing to him. For her it meant everything and she needed to feel wanted by Ben Solo. 

_And how did it feel?_

His words replayed in her mind as she met his eyes once more. When had he gotten so close? Had he moved, or had she? 

_Like coming home_ she thought as he bridged the gap between them and caught her lips in his. 

Their bond sparked to life and warmth radiated through her body from this simple connection with this man. If it wasn’t for his arm sliding around her waist and holding her close she was sure she would have collapsed from the intensity of this feeling. 

Her lips moved hesitantly against his, her hand reaching up to cup his face, to hold him to her, and her heart pounded in her chest as he deepened their kiss. 

_This is what it feels like to come home_   
_I know_

When they broke apart Ben rest his forehead against hers, his breathing heavy. 

Her eyes were squeezed shut but a happy smile spread across her face as her fingers trailed the contours of his face. 

She felt Ben smile against her touch, and his head turned to the side so he could press his lips to her fingers. 

“People could see” she whispered through her smile.

“ _People_?”

“The caretakers” she shrugged and he tugged her closer. 

“Then let's go inside” 

Rey laughed softly, just letting herself enjoy the tenderness of this moment for a second longer before she nodded and stood, reaching out to tangle her fingers with his. 

Ben rose as she took his hand and followed silently as she led him back to their hut. 

It was dark and cold inside but with a wave of her free hand Rey light the fire, causing Ben to raise an eyebrow at the power she possessed. 

With him illuminated in the flickers of the flames Rey glanced down at their joined hands, her stomach flipping at the thought of how this was where it had all begun. When she had touched his hand over a year ago, in this very spot. 

The way he squeezed her hand told her he was thinking about the same moment. 

She lifted her eyes to meet his and the way he looked at her, as if she were the most important creature in the Galaxy made her heart burst with happiness. 

“Kiss me, Ben…” she whispered and how could he resist this pull to the light?

He released his hold on her hand, his instead going to her waist as he bent down to brush his lips to hers once more. 

Rey sighed against him, her own hands going to his waist as she leaned up to kiss him back. 

She had forgotten how tall he was. These last few weeks he had barely stood, but now he was tall and alive and beautiful. 

“Rey” he whispered her name like it was sacred and her arms travelled the expanse of his firm chest, meeting one another as they wrapped around his neck. 

She deepened the kiss as he literally lifted her off her feet, and carried her across the small hut, sitting her on the edge of the cot they had shared just a few nights earlier. 

Rey frowned as he broke away from her, but watched closely as he sunk to his knees in front of her. 

“Do you have any idea how important you are?” he asked in a whisper that almost broke her heart. No one had ever regarded her as important before. 

Even to the Resistance she had felt more expendable than important. She was needed to fulfil their mission, that was it. 

“Ben…” she whispered, unable to hide the happiness that flowed through her from his words and from his actions. Her hands reached down to cup his face as he looked up at her like she was a Queen. 

He smiled softly and bowed his head, just letting her hold him for a moment. When he lifted his head once again he reached out and covered one of her hands with his own, much larger, one. 

His fingers tangled with hers and he brought her hand down to his lips, pressing a kiss to it once more. 

“Will you hold me?” she whispered, her tone not managing to disguise the trepidation in her words. 

Ben nodded and rose from his knees, taking a seat beside her on the cot. His arms slid around her as he lay back and she fell with him, her hand taking a tight hold of his over her stomach. 

This felt nice. This felt safe.

And not to mention warm.

“I liked learning to fish with you today” she whispered into the silence. 

She felt his body shift against hers, but she held tightly onto his hand, worried he would try to let go of her. 

“I liked it too” he replied quietly, his warm breath on the back of her neck causing goosebumps to rise. 

“Maybe we could try it again tomorrow?”

They both knew she didn’t just mean the fishing. 

“I’d like that too” he replied, pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder.

Rey smiled, closed her eyes and let this happy and content feeling take over her body. 

\--

When he woke the next morning, Rey was _not_ gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently nothing is ever simple. Ben and Rey argue when she lets her fears get the best of her.

When Ben awoke the next morning Rey was _not_ gone.

He opened his eyes and felt a small smile spread across his lips at the feel of her body still pressed against him, her hand still in his. 

As he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest he was overwhelmed by feelings of contentedness and peace. Their connection was alive and humming from the feeling. 

She shifted slightly in her sleep, her eyes slowly fluttering open and Ben thought that a sleepy-eyed and happy Rey might jsut be the most beautiful creature in the entire Galaxy. 

“Hi…” she whispered as she turned her head to look at him, smiles spreading across both their faces as their gazes met.

“Hi” he replied just as softly even as nerves flooded through him. 

What if she remembered last night and was disgusted with herself?

“You’re so warm” she replied simply as he felt her pressing even closer to him. 

_You’re so beautiful._

He thought to himself and judging by the way Rey tensed against him she might just have heard it too through their bond. 

His whole face flushed red and neither of them spoke for a few more moments. He should be more careful with his thoughts.

When Rey next moved it was to untangle her hand from his. 

_Don’t_ he had wanted to say, but instead he just lay silently as he watched her stand and stretch out her back - reminding him of how unsuitable this small cot was for two people.

She turned to him with the smallest of smiles, grabbed her satchel and silently left the hut.

Ben lay back with a heavy sigh. He may be connected to this girl in the Force, but he could not for the life of him read her right now. 

— 

When he finally stepped out of the hut he found Rey preparing more of the warm herbal drink from the morning before.

“You should have slept more, you need your rest” she whispered, not looking up from her task.   
“I’m fine” he replied as he sat down beside her. She still didn’t look up, just passed him a warm mug. 

They drank in silence, and it was suffocating. Especially after last night. After they had let down their walls and spoken so openly. 

“I was thinking, we should probably try to get off this island” he eventually said, his head bowed, afraid to look at her.

“You want to leave?” It was more disappointment than surprise that he detected in her tone.

“Don’t you?

“You haven’t fully recovered” she argued.

“I’m fine” 

Their talk last night about how she thought no one had ever cared about her had made Ben realise how important her friends, the Pilot and Finn, were to her. And he knew they must be worried sick about her, it was only right that she return to them.

“Don’t you want to get back to your friends?”

“It can wait”

“You’re worried” he said simply, placing down his mug and angling his body towards hers.

“What?”

“That they’ll execute me. Imprison me as a war criminal. Tear us apart” he spoke as if it was nothing to worry about.

How was he doing that? It was like he was reading her -

“Are you? What? How?”

Rey stood. Their bond had been weak. How was he so easily reading her?

“You’ve closed yourself off” 

There was no question in her tone, and she glared at him coldly. Hurt that he would shut down this connection between them, taking from her what she did not want to share, but giving nothing in return.

“Rey, you’re one of the most powerful beings in the Galaxy, but when it comes to your force signature you can’t seem to control it”

There was a teasing edge to his tone, but it angered her and he felt that flash of anger through their bond. 

“For me it’s quite easy to choose when and when not to let you in. But for you - well, you never were very good at meditating were you?”

“Shut up” her anger flared once more. Why was he teasing her this way? She was embarrassed that he would use their connection this way. 

She grabbed her satchel and swung it over her shoulder. 

“Rey, you _need_ a teacher”

“Leave me alone. Stay out of my head” she spat back in response before she marched away from him, leaving Ben completely confused. 

He had only been trying to help. 

\---

The anger, and the hurt that he had felt in her force signature that morning had been enough to keep him from following her. 

Ben didn’t quite understand why she was so upset with him. A vague memory of his Father sprung to his mind - 

_A roll of his eyes, as he watched Leia storm down the corridor._

_“Women” Han had muttered, glancing down at his son and clapping a hand to his shoulder._

_“Don’t ever fall in love, son. Hurts like hell” Han had smiled that crooked smile of his and then turned back to Chewie to work on the Falcon._

_The young Ben Solo had stared after his Mother’s retreating form and wondered if he would ever fall in love, and if it would hurt quite so much as his Father had promised._

\---

Rey strode up the steps of the island, letting her anger flow through her and propel her higher up the hill. 

She was so angry at him. She had thought that their connection was something to be shared between them. She had understood why he had tried to keep it closed when they had been on opposite sides of a war, but now? What didn’t he want her to see? 

With a huff she stopped her ascent and sat down in the grass, knees pulled up to her chin. 

She knew exactly what he was hiding from her. 

His regret of last night. 

Rey had known it was too good to be true, the way it felt to be in his arms, the way that he looked at her as if she were the only thing of importance in this whole world. The way his kiss lit a fire in her belly and consumed her. 

She was an idiot for ever letting her guard down. 

Back on Jakku she had heard enough to understand that this was what men did. That they toyed with the minds of weak women, making them feel special and then taking what they wanted before throwing them back in the dirt. 

Ben Solo didn’t want her. Not the way that Rey wanted him to, the way she didn’t want to know where one of them began and the other ended, the way she wanted to be cared for by him as if she could actually be special. 

No. He was alone on an island with her and so he was using her to pass the time until he could leave and find another girl. 

Flashes of the women she had seen on Jakku, in the tavern on Takodana, flooded her mind. The women who men stared at. Who moved with more confidence than Rey could ever muster, who were certainly not flat chested, who wore makeup rather than spent their days covered in the dirt of a hard day’s work. 

Rey could never be like them. And in part she didn’t want to be, but it hurt to know that she would never capture Ben’s attention the way women like that would. 

And he had made it clear, even if he pretended otherwise, that he wanted to leave this island. 

Yes, she had brought him here to keep him safe and allow him to heal. Yes, she had considered returning to her friends and taking Ben with her, but she was selfish and even though these last few weeks had been strange, and sometimes scary, she had loved having him to herself. She had loved getting to know Ben Solo with no distractions other than the disapproving glares of the caretakers. 

But he wanted to leave. 

He was likely bored out of his mind of being here with her. 

A girl who couldn’t even catch a fish without his help. A girl who shivered in the night, making him give up his comfort to keep her warm. A girl who was nothing and no one.

Of course he wanted to get out of here. 

In chains in a Resistance cell probably looked much more appealing to him. At least he would get a bunk to himself. 

Rey hated herself for thinking this way, for so easily believing her worries. For letting the fear in.

But she had come to care for Ben so deeply, and the thought that he might not feel the same was like the blade of his lightsaber through her heart. 

Rey had never been a weak and emotional girl. She had owned her independence and she had looked after herself. But now, after a few hours in the arms of a man she was unravelling and it was terrifying. 

She choked back a sob, bowed her head and let the tears fall. 

Maybe being alone had been better after all. That way people couldn’t hurt you like this. 

\---

When Rey didn’t return he began to worry. 

She was always back by the time the sun was setting, hair escaping from her buns, skin slick with sweat and a bright smile on her face as she brought back their food for the evening. 

But today, as the sun began to set there was no sign of her. 

He tried to reach her through their bond, but it was quiet and that only worried him more. 

Getting to his feet he decided that he needed to go to her, make sure she was okay and most likely apologise for their earlier argument. 

\---

When he finally found her he was exhausted. She was at the very tip of the island. And she was meditating. 

Ben stood still and just studied her for a few moments. She looked so peaceful like this, and so beautiful floating above the ground with her hair flowing in the wind, her eyes closed tightly and a look of contendness across her features. 

“So this is why I couldn’t feel you”

His words caught her off guard and she fell unceremoniously to the dirt.

Ben cringed inwardly and the glare he was about to receive. 

And sure enough, her eyes opened and if looks could kill Ben would be six feet under. 

“Sorry?” he offered. 

She huffed and stood, gathering her things and turning her back on him.

“Where are you going now?” he asked exasperatedly and stepped towards her.

“Away from _you_!” 

Ben rolled his eyes at that. 

“Haven’t you had all day away from me?”

“You prefer it that way”

“Oh so I just hiked all the way up here for the good of my health??” he replied frustratedly. “This is a really kriffing ridiculous island, Rey!”

“It is a _sacred Jedi island_!” she spat back as though she were disgusted that he speak this way about it. 

“I don’t care!”

He looked and sounded like Han she thought as she glanced over at him. It made her heart flutter. 

“Rey, please don’t walk away from me” his voice softened and she must have stopped retreating because in a few long strides he was inches away from her and she was suddenly fascinated by the opening of his shirt, the expanse of skin she saw there, because it was better than meeting that soulful gaze. That would have been dangerous. 

“I don’t know what you want from me” she whispered and then she was in his arms. 

She wasn’t quite sure how it had happened, but his strong arms were wrapped around her and her own arms slid around him. Her face was pressed into his chest and she should have been embarrassed by how her tears were wetting his shirt but instead she was distracted by the way his fingers were brushing through her hair freeing it of the last of her buns. 

“I want you to be happy” he whispered against her hair. 

She sniffed quietly and tightened her hold on him. 

“You want to go home. To the Resistance”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement but she nodded against his chest anyway.

“So let’s go”

“I’m worried”

“About wha -” he sighed. “I’m not scared of them. They won’t hurt me because I don’t think you’ll let them”

Rey sighed and smiled softly.

“They won’t understand, Ben” she whispered.

“They see you as -

“- a monster” he completed her sentence with a nod, his head bowed, his lips pressed against the top of her head. 

When she didn’t speak he filled the silence.

“I don’t care. I’ve done horrible things, and if they want to lock me up, stand me to trial, execute me -” he sighed. “None of it matters anymore”

“I didn’t literally drag you all the way to this island just so you could die at the hands of my friends” she huffed, her arms releasing him and pushing him away frustratedly. “You’re heavy by the way” she added with a teasing smile.

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile when he saw the amusement in hers. 

“How about we stop worrying?” he suggested. “You want to be back with your friends. Your family. So let’s go. We can figure out my fate later”

“Why aren’t you afraid of dying?”

“Because I’m more afraid of losing you”

An ache pulsed through her heart at that. He didn’t mean it surely. 

She was reminded of her earlier thoughts, of how Ben just wanted off this island and away from her. 

“Come” he whispered, and offered his hand. “Let’s go home”

Rey hated how when she took his hand she knew she was already home. 

She was letting herself in to a world of hurt, and she was powerless to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to read, leave kudos and comments. It means a lot and it's great to hear so many are enjoying this :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter, filler chapter this time I’m afraid!

When they made it back to the huts it was almost pitch black. Rey had already made it clear through her thoughts that she just wanted to rest and so they headed straight into the hut they shared. 

They were both nervous about what would happen tomorrow when they finally began their journey back to the Resistance base.

Rey busied herself running her hands through her hair and trying to tie it back up. Ben sat on the edge of the cot and unfastened the shirt he was wearing. 

“What are you doing?”

Her head snapped up at the rustle of his shirt, her eyes immediately averting to the ground as she saw him taking it off. 

“Getting changed” he said simply.

“I can give you some privacy” she headed for the door of the hut but she had forgotten how long his legs were, it only took a few strides and he was reaching for her, fingers slipping around her wrist.

“Ben…” she looked up at him, determined to keep her eyes on his and not his chest. 

“Don’t leave” he said simply. 

It wasn’t as though she hadn’t seen him shirtless before. He wasn’t embarrassed. 

“Let me help?”

“Help? With what?” She asked confused and he reached out, his fingers slipping into her hair. 

“I was training all day” she explained, wanting to give a reason for the mess, “Didn't stay fastened” 

Ben nodded, fingers combing through it once more. “My Mother taught me how to braid” he explained. “She told me it was important to know the traditions of her home planet, Alderaan”

Rey didn’t know what to say and just stared at him, captivated by the softness of his gaze and how good his fingers felt in her hair. 

“I could -“

She nodded. Perhaps only because she liked having an excuse for him to touch her. 

“Sit down” he instructed softly and Rey took a seat on the small stool by the fire. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ben kneel behind her, and then she felt his fingers in her hair.

It took every bit of strength Rey had to keep her hands in her lap and let him work. He was being so sweet and it made her heart swell, she just wanted to turn and pull him to her. It didn’t help that he still hadn’t gotten around to replacing his shirt.

“Why are you being like this?”

“Like what?” He asked softly, his focus never shifting from the intricate braids he was creating. 

“So - kind...sweet” she felt unfair saying that but his kindness really was catching her off guard.

“I didn’t know I was. I’m just -“ he paused, as did his fingers.

“What?” She asked, her voice catching in her throat. 

“Helping out a friend”

“A friend. Right” she nodded, trying to hide any disappointment she felt. 

Silence fell over them as Ben continued. His hands were so gentle. She had never had anyone touch her like this before. In fact, she had spent her whole life irritated by how difficult it was to tie her hair in her three signature braids by herself all the time. This was nice.

_Perhaps he can do this more often_

She felt Ben’s smile through their bond and her ears reddened. 

_I’d like that_ Was his reply against her mind. 

Rey smiled softly and glanced down at the floor, just letting herself enjoy this and trying to not feel so embarrassed.

“There. All done” his voice broke the silence and as soon as his touch left her she felt a shiver of cold.

“Thank you” Rey whispered as she stood and turned to him to offer a smile. 

Ben’s heart stopped when her gaze met his, bright smile on her face. She looked beautiful.

_You look like a Queen_

Rey scoffed as she heard his thoughts through their bond. 

“I doubt that” she replied amusedly, smile and eyes as bright as the twin suns of Tatooine. “Queen’s wear clean clothes, free of mud” she laughed and glanced down at her muddy clothes. 

Ben smiled softly, averting his gaze. He hadn’t meant her to hear those thoughts. 

He turned his back on her and did everything he could to clear his mind of thoughts of his Mother explaining the significance of Alderaanian braids - and their affiliation with the royal family. That was definitely not something he needed Rey seeing in his head. 

She didn’t need to know how these particular braids were meant for the bride of an Alderaanian Prince. (His Mother had been quite insistent he learn this style in case he ever needed it)

“Why don’t you take the cot tonight?” He offered, grabbing a spare tunic and pulling it over his bare chest. 

Rey turned to him and he felt a pang of disappointment that wasn’t his own. 

“We can share again. If you’d like?”

“Only if you’re sure”

Rey nodded and crossed the hut to him, taking his hand and leading him to the cot. 

“Goodnight Ben” she whispered once they were laying side by side, his arm around her waist with her hand clutching his to her. 

“Goodnight” he replied softly, and drift off to sleep, a happy smile on his face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They were meant to make it to the Resistance Base this time round but things spiralled out of control, so here, have another baby chapter

The next morning Ben had woken just as Rey was sitting up, ready to start her day. 

He was irritated that he hadn’t woken just a few moments earlier so he could have enjoyed the feel of her in his arms one last time. Ben was under no pretence, things were going to change _a lot_ after today. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you…”

She must have sensed him because she turned her head and looked down at him, a soft smile gracing her lips. 

“You didn’t. It’s fine” he replied as he sat up himself, letting out a yawn and stretching his arms out. If there was one thing he hoped for from the Resistance base it was a bigger bed.

Rey watched as Ben stretched out and was overwhelmed with the desire to lean back and into his arms. 

And so she promptly stood up. 

“I’m going to go see if our clothes are dry and pack up outside” she explained. “Is there anything you want to take from here?”

Ben knew she meant any of Luke’s things but -

_Only the feeling of being so close to you_

He sighed and shook his head to rid him of his thoughts, “No, there’s nothing” he confirmed, watching as she nodded in reply and left the hut. 

Ben began packing up the small amount of things they had been using since they had arrived here almost three weeks ago but he moved slowly, keen to linger on the island. 

These last few weeks had been exhausting and unexpected, but in many ways they had been some of the best of his life. 

Neither of them knew what would happen to him when they reached her friends, but if he were a betting man he’d bet his Grandfather’s lightsaber that he wouldn’t be falling asleep beside Rey tonight. 

\---

By the time they had both done stalling it was nearing sunset. 

He followed Rey silently down to the waiting TIE Fighter but paused to take in the wreckage of his Silencer. 

“Why did you destroy it?” he asked causing Rey to turn, and take in the sight of the wreckage too. 

“I planned to live the rest of my life on this island” she replied simply, her eyes dropping to the ground beneath her. 

That had definitely not been the answer Ben had expected. 

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

Rey shrugged, “I was scared”

“To face Palpatine?”

“No” she shook her head and risked a glance up at him, his eyes were fixed on her and filled with confusion. “Of _being_ a Palpatine”

Ben swallowed and took a step towards her. Rey took a step back. 

“I didn’t tell you the truth about your parents to scare you, Rey”

“I know” she flashed a sad smile but looked away from him again, and this time out to the calm sea that surrounded the island. 

“I was just terrified that I’d hurt people I cared about,” she explained. “When I thought I’d killed Chewie -” she paused. “I couldn’t live with that, Ben. This power inside me - it terrifies me every single day” she admitted, squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears. 

Ben had never really considered this possibility - that she would be scared of her power. His power intrigued him and he constantly wanted to push it’s limits. That’s why he had been so fascinated by her as his equal, she made him push himself. 

“What changed your mind?” he finally asked, after what felt like an age.

“Luke” she replied simply. “He - I don’t know if I imagined him or - well, he appeared -”

“Force ghost” he replied simply. 

Rey laughed. “There’s so much left for me to learn about the Force” Ben knew so much more than her.

“So he appeared? What did he say?” Ben asked, intrigued. 

“That he and Leia - your Mother - they had both known for a while who I was”

Ben raised an eyebrow, wondering how they had known. As a child his Mother had never really said much about the Force, so it always surprised him how in tune with it she had actually been.

“And they trained you anyway…” he completed her thoughts, taking a step towards her. “Rey, our family doesn’t define us”

She turned to him at that, eyes searching his face. 

“Clearly mine didn’t. Otherwise I’d be a smuggler or a resistance hero” he joked. 

Rey laughed softly and nudged him, “There’s still time” 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, whatever Palpatine was you are not the same”

She was light where Palpatine was dark. Kind where he was cruel, powerful where he was weak. 

There was a pause as the gravity of the conversation hit them both. The last few weeks Rey had spent each day worrying that she would end up like her Grandfather after all. 

“I’m sorry I destroyed your ship…” she offered weakly, breaking the silence.

Ben smiled, “Let old things die, right?”

Rey nodded, took a deep breath and walked with him back to their TIE Fighter, loading the few supplies that they had brought with them from the hut. 

“Ready?’ she asked, and when Ben nodded she moved to climb into the cockpit. 

But then he hesitated, “Rey, wait -”

She paused and turned to him suddenly afraid he was going to change his mind and refuse to leave this island.

“Ben?”

“Can I?” He stepped closer and she looked up at him, eyes searching his as her heart pounded.

He didn’t need to speak the words because instead what she felt through their bond told her exactly what he wanted, and she wanted it too.

It was clear he was nervous, that affection didn’t come naturally to him but it touched her that he was trying. That he had been trying these last few weeks.

Ben stepped closer still and they did an odd dance where he reached for her as she reached for him and they went in opposite directions. He laughed softly and reached for her hand instead, squeezing it gently. 

“In case it’s the last time…” he said softly, the sadness tinging his tone at the thought that it actually could be threatened to spill tears from her eyes. 

And the tenderness with which he hesitantly leant down and brushed his lips to hers made the tears fall. 

When he broke away there was a tiny and nervous smile on his face but Rey turned her head to avoid looking at him, hastily wiping at her eyes. 

“You know if that’s the last time it’s not really one to remember” she teased unsure where this confidence had come from. She supposed she just didn’t want this to end yet.

Ben chuckled and when she turned back towards him he practically swept her off her feet in the way his lips captured hers and his arms wrapped around her. 

As he kissed her he let down his walls and let all of his emotions pulse through the force and through their bond. It was overwhelming to feel the things he felt.

“Better?” he asked when he finally released her.

Rey nodded, she couldn’t form words, too overcome with the feeling of happiness and belonging she had felt through their connection.

“Though perhaps it would be better if we made sure it’s not the last time?” He suggest, smiling and climbing into the ship’s cockpit leaving her to just stare in disbelief.

 _Get a grip of yourself_ she scolded herself and followed him into the ship.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally they make it back to the Resistance. But will they welcome Ben with open arms? No, of course not -_-

The journey to the Resistance Base passed mostly in silence. 

Ben had been so caught up in his thoughts to make any kind of conversation. Honestly, he couldn’t even tell you what system the Base was located in - his mind was so out of it. 

These last few weeks had been strange. He had been so weak when they had first arrived on Ahch-To, then confused as to why Rey had brought him here, but over the days he had adjusted to life with her. 

For most of his life Ben had been lonely. When his connection with Rey had first sparked to life he had let her see his loneliness, the pain and misery that he felt, and he had done that in the hope of gaining her trust. In the hopes of her turning to the dark side and joining him. 

He had never thought that she would end his loneliness, not in this way. 

But now they were hurtling through hyperspace towards the Resistance and they would be broken apart. He just wasn’t sure whether it would be by Rey’s choice or not. 

Rey had been silent throughout the journey too, not that he had been a very talkative companion, but he didn’t need her to speak for him to feel the tension in the cockpit. She was nervous. 

Nervous about seeing her friends. Nervous about their reaction to Ben. 

“It’ll be okay” he said quietly as they pulled out of hyperspace and he heard her take a deep breath. 

“I think I’m the one who’s meant to be reassuring you” she sighed softly, hands gripping the steering once more as she prepared to land them. 

\---

A commotion on the Base greeted their arrival. They were after all arriving unannounced in a First Order fighter. 

She landed the TIE Fighter with great precision and Ben was pretty impressed how quickly she had gotten the hang of this ship. They were notoriously difficult to fly. 

Rey unfastened her seatbelt and turned her head towards him. 

“Perhaps I should -”

Ben nodded, silently agreeing with her plan.  
“It’s going to be okay” she promised and Ben wasn’t sure whether she was trying to reassure him or herself. 

By the time she was climbing out of the cockpit the ship was surrounded by Resistance fighters all pointing their blasters towards her.

“Rey?” Finn pushed past the crowd of soldiers towards her, “Rey!!”

A wide grin broke across Rey’s face as she saw her best friend emerging from the crowd, she leaped down from the ship and raced across the ground towards him.

“Lower your blasters” she vaguely heard Poe’s call as she ran towards Finn.

When they reached one another his arms wrapped tightly around her and lifted her off the ground. 

“Rey” he whispered in disbelief.

“Finn” her whisper was filled with elation as she buried her head into his shoulder. 

Rey felt another pair of arms wrap around her and she knew it was Poe. 

The trio stood still, surrounded by Resistance soldiers, for what felt like an eternity, just holding one another in relief. 

“Rey I thought -” Finn broke away to look at her, his eyes searching her face for any sign of injury. “It was like I could feel you - in the Force”

Rey was smiling widely, her eyes searching Finn’s as she listened to his explanation. 

“You can feel the Force?”

Her question went unanswered as he continued, “But then, I couldn’t”

Rey frowned. 

“I thought you’d -”

She had. But he didn’t need to know about that. Not yet. 

“Finn, I’m _fine_ ” she promised and then she was back in his embrace. 

“We’ve been worried” It was Poe’s turn to speak now and Rey lifted her head from Finn’s shoulder to look at him. “Rey, it’s been 3 weeks. We tried to find you on Exegol but the planet started to implode on itself” he explained. “There wasn’t anything else we could do”

“It’s okay” she promised, reaching out and squeezing his hand. In the year or so that they had known each other she and Poe had argued a lot, but behind all of that there was a hell of a lot of respect and love for one another. 

“Where were you?” 

“It’s a long story” 

“Ah, Master Rey. I hear we have been on _quite_ the adventure”

Rey looked up with another wide grin at the familiar sight of the droid. “3-PO!” she beamed then turned to Poe who shrugged. 

“Turns out R2 _does_ keep backups of his memory”

A loud roar greeted her next and then she was enveloped in warmth, and hairy, arms. 

“Chewie” she smiled against his furry chest. “I know, I know,” she muttered as he berated her for leaving them. “But I’m home now” 

And she was. 

Being in Ben Solo’s arms was nice. But _this_ was home. 

Rey’s feelings of happiness and belonging flooded through her force signature and pulsed through the bond she held with the man alone in the TIE Fighter. 

He should have been happy for her, but instead his chest ached with unimaginable pain. Ben had thought he had experienced happiness from Rey over the last few weeks, but that was nothing compared to the emotions flooding through her right now. It hurt. 

“You are home, but you are not alone, girl”

The wizened voice of Maz Kanata caused Rey to pull away from Chewie’s embrace, panic flooding through her veins like ice to her blood. Rey knew Maz was a great ally of the Resistance, and surely meant well, but it terrified her just how knowing the look in her eyes was. 

Rey cleared her throat just as the TIE Fighter hatch opened and Ben began to climb down from the ship.   
The sound of simultaneous blasters being lifted and primed filled her ears alongside shouts of “It’s Kylo Ren” and Rey immediately retreated from her friends to put her body between the weapons and him.

“Ben Solo” the sound of his name caused Ben’s eyes to widen and his gaze fixed on the small form of Maz. “You finally came home” A bright smile grew across her face as she fixed him with her piercing glare. “Be quiet, Chewie” The Wookie immediately stopped his roars at her instructions.

“Rey, what is this?” It was Poe’s voice now, he too had his blaster pointed towards Ben. 

“Kylo Ren i - is dead” she tried to force an air of confidence to her tone but she wasn’t quite sure it came out that way. “This is Ben. Ben Solo” 

Rey’s eyes frantically looked between the confused faces in front of her, trying to pre-empt an attack but none came, they were all too busy looking between themselves and whispering.

Rey presumed this meant not many people had been aware of who the Supreme Leader of the First Order really was. 

It was Maz that broke the silence once more. 

“Let me take a look at you”, it wasn’t a question.

The Resistance watched with bated breath as Maz stepped towards their enemy, fixing him with a stare that clearly said ‘come down to my height’, and to Rey’s surprise Ben knelt before Maz.

“It’s been many years but yes, you still have it” she agreed with herself as she studied the young man’s face. “That look of loneliness I used to see in your Father’s eyes” Rey’s heart ached. “And your Mother - you have that air of regality fit for the Prince of Alderaan” 

_Prince?_ Rey was confused. But there wasn’t time to question it.

Maz nodded and turned her back on Ben, clearly satisfied and walked back towards the rest of the Resistance.

“Maz…” Poe sounded concerned as she walked back towards him.

“He is Leia’s son” her words were a warning. “You’ll do well to treat him with some respect”

“Respect?!” Finn interrupted now, looking between Poe, Maz, Rey and Ben. “After everything he’s done?”

“There is more to Kylo Ren than meets the eye” Maz replied simply, looking between the two men. “And besides, I presume Rey will vouch for him?”

Rey met Maz’s gaze and nodded, her eyes still wide with worry at what her friends were going to do.

Maz nodded too and began to walk away. With a gesture of her hand the majority of the Resistance soldiers followed suit. It was amazing how someone so small commanded such authority.

“Poe!” Finn was staring wide-eyed at the other man, he couldn’t believe they hadn’t shot Ren on sight. 

“He’s not going to do anything just - Finn, stop!” Rey responded angrily. 

“What has he done to you?” Finn turned on Rey and a fire raged inside her. 

“Nothing!” she insisted angrily. 

Finn looked to Poe who was clearly at a loss for what to do, his eyes darting between his two friends and then over Rey’s shoulder at Kylo Ren - who had surprisingly not moved since his inspection by Maz. 

“Gah - this is ridiculous” Finn exclaimed and reached for his blaster.

“No!” Rey didn’t think, she just reacted and without warning Finn was propelled a few hundred feet through the air. 

Terror filled her eyes at what she had done but she couldn’t move, she was all that stood between Ben and the Resistance. 

Poe rushed to Finn’s side and helped him up, both men staring at Rey, worried that perhaps she was being controlled by Kylo Ren. 

_You have to let them take me_

His voice broke through her mind and she frowned. 

_What? Ben. No!_

_Rey. They have to see that I won’t harm them. All they have is your word, and I’m not sure that counts for much right now_

Rey felt tears spring to her eyes and she shook her head defiantly. 

_You’re not a prisoner_

_That’s exactly what they need me to be_

Rey blinked back the tears. She had known that this wouldn’t go well. Her friends weren’t exactly going to welcome the man who had been their enemy with open arms. But Ben was her friend, Ben completed her and she wanted people to accept him. She wasn’t sure she could stand being apart from him.

Ben took a few steps forward, not even flinching when blasters were raised towards him once more, offering his hands in front of him. 

Rey didn’t turn to him until he was stood beside her. 

“Please, Rey” he whispered. “I’d rather it be you”

She swallowed and nodded, avoiding eye contact with him because she couldn’t bear him seeing the look in her eyes or the look in his.

With a quick wave of her hand she summoned the force restraining cuffs she knew they had on the base, and gently fastened them around his wrists.

The memory of the same thing happening to her back on the Supremacy sprung to mind and she lifted her head to finally meet his eyes. 

Ben’s smile told her this was okay, that he would be fine and Rey gently squeezed his hands before turning back to her friends. 

Finn was watching her with a furrowed brow, confusion writ across his face from the tender way she was interacting with this villainous man. 

“He’s to have comfortable quarters. And to be fed the same as the others” she instructed Poe, who looked at her quizzically but nodded. 

“Poe -” Finn tried to argue but Poe’s mind was made up. He and Rey didn’t always see eye to eye, but he trusted her. (He had left her alone with BB8 multiple times after all!)

“And we’ll discuss you pardoning him,” she added. 

“I appreciate you not using your mind tricks on me, but don’t push it Rey” he sighed and signalled two remaining soldiers to escort Ben inside. 

It took every bit of strength she possessed but Rey managed to stop herself from looking at him as he was escorted past. She couldn’t face the look on his face, nor did she want Finn and Poe to see the affection in her eyes. 

_Keep the connection open_

She heard him beg against her mind, and it was almost enough to glance up at him. 

_Don’t leave me alone_

It was the _Please_ that broke her and tears sprang to her eyes.

Rey was terrified of interacting with him whilst on the Resistance Base, in case people discovered the truth of their bond, but she wasn’t sure how she could say no to him. 

This was going to be so much more difficult than she had imagined.


	10. Chapter 10

The Resistance Base was buzzing. They had won the war, Rey was back _and_ they had captured Kylo Ren. 

But Rey couldn’t enjoy this. Finn was not talking to her.

And that hurt more than she could have ever imagined. 

Finn had been her first real friend. They had stuck together through all of this. He was the only one she had ever wanted to tell about this connection with Ben. But now he was the one she definitely could not tell.

She went about her day trying to act as though it were completely normal that she was back here and that Kylo Ren was locked in their cells. 

The whole time she could feel him pushing against her mind and she let him in. The heartbreaking way he had begged her was reason enough. 

He was a brave man, of course. But Kylo Ren had come to life from people isolating Ben Solo. Rey was terrified of that happening again.

She wanted to see him. It had been a few hours since he had been taken away but there was no time. Poe had called a meeting of all the Resistance leadership and she knew it was going to be about their ‘prisoner’.

As Rey walked through the corridors towards their command center she spotted Finn talking with Rose. Her heart leaped at the sight of her friend and she offered a smile, but his eyes were cold as they met hers and he turned his back on her, hand going to Rose’s shoulder as he encouraged her to stay away from Rey with him.

\---

There was a large gathering of the most senior members of the Resistance when she walked into the command center and their eyes were all on her. 

“Okay, okay. Everyone settle down” Poe’s voice sounded through the room and silence fell. 

He was looking at Rey - weren’t they all? And she knew that he was waiting for her to speak.

“He saved me. I went to Exegol to confront Palpatine and he came after me. He killed Kylo Ren and he fought by my side” she said clearly, trying to exude confidence but it was difficult.

There was murmuring around the room.

“And I died” she continued and silence fell around the room once more. 

“Finn” she pleaded, looking to her friend. “You know I did. That’s what you felt in the Force” she begged him to back her up.

He looked away, locking his jaw.

Rey fought back the pain and continued, “Ben brought me back. He was willing to sacrifice his life to restore mine”

Tears were welling up in her eyes.

“I know that Kylo Ren has done horrible things” 

There was a murmur of agreement.

“But Ben Solo can be a good man”

A murmur of uncertainty.

“He wants to change. He wants to help us. Please give him a chance”

There was a sudden outcry of noise from people expressing their opinions. It was clear they didn’t believe the man in their cells deserved a chance.

“Alright, calm down!” Poe’s voice boomed through the room and the noise quietened.

“Rey I wanna believe you, you know I do” he reached out for her and she nodded gratefully.

“But good people have suffered at the hands of that man”

Rey nodded sadly. She knew it was true.

“He wants to change” she whispered.

“Men like that don’t change” It was Finn’s voice now and she looked up to meet his eyes. They were cold and emotionless and it broke Rey’s heart to have him look at her this way. 

“Poe don’t listen to this. He’s clearly done something with her mind” Finn continued and anger flared through her body and she reached for the lightsaber at her waist.

“Rey!”

As Poe stepped between his two friends Rey knew her actions had practically confirmed Finn’s belief to half of the room. 

“Look it’s going to take some time, okay?” He looked between the two. “I want to believe you Rey, I really do. But like Finn says, men like that don’t often change” 

“He will. He has” she whispered desperately. 

“We’ll keep him locked in the cell until we’ve had a chance to work this out,” Poe said confidently, addressing the rest of the command center who nodded in agreement. “If Kylo Ren can prove himself a changed man then we’ll consider lesser restraints, but he cannot walk free, he must pay for the crimes he has committed”

Rey’s heart was breaking as cheers sounded around her.

She should never have brought Ben here. 

She had been a fool to think her friends would trust her and let Ben be a free man. 

The Resistance leaders began to filter out of the room and she felt Poe’s hand on her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry” and he truly was, she could see it in his eyes. “But a lot of people on this base have suffered because of him. I can stop them calling for his execution, but I just can’t let him go free” he squeezed her shoulder softly.

He was a leader now. And it suited him.

“He’s not Kylo Ren” she whispered, her voice breaking. “He’s Ben Solo and this is his Mother’s Resistance”

Poe sighed. 

“There’s still small pockets of the First Order scattered across the Galaxy. If he could prove himself an asset -“

“You plan to use him?” She took a step away from Poe. 

“Rey good peoples’ lives are at stake” 

Rey shook her head angrily, disappointed that her friends wouldn’t even try to see the good in Ben.

“I should never have brought him back here”

As she turned to leave she saw Finn glaring across the room at her. Rose reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him saying something stupid. 

Her heart broke into smaller pieces.

—

It was much later in the day when Rey was on the way to the fresher, ready to be rid of these muddy clothes, that Maz found her. 

“You did the right thing, child” 

The voice caught her by surprise, she had been lost in her own thoughts (of Ben). 

“Maz…”

The smaller woman smiled and peered up at Rey with those all knowing eyes. 

“Why do I see sadness in you?”

Rey hurriedly wiped at her tear stained eyes. 

“I know I should be happy to be back with everyone I care about. To see that they are all safe” she paused and Maz gave her a look that said carry on. “But I feel like I’ve failed” she admit, leaning back against the wall and sinking to the floor. 

Maz stepped closer, her hand reaching out for Rey’s. The young woman let out a soft sigh and took Maz’s, allowing herself the strength of a friend.

“When we first met -” Rey began. “You told me there was another who could return…”

Maz nodded and squeezed Rey’s hand.

“You didn’t mean Luke, did you?” Rey hated how weak her voice was. 

“Who sits in the cells below us?” Maz asked gently. 

“Ben Solo” Rey replied without missing a beat.

“And what of Kylo Ren?”

“Dead” she whispered.

“Then you have not failed, Rey” the older, wiser woman insist.

“Ben Solo’s journey is not yet complete” she nodded. “But it is back on track, and that’s because of you”

“His journey?”

“To bring back the Balance. To restore peace” Maz replied as though it were obvious. “A destiny entwined with another’s, I think” her eyes pierced Rey’s, and Rey felt as though Maz could read her very soul. 

“Now go clean yourself up, wipe away your tears and _go_ to him”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. 

“It is imperative that loneliness does not consume Ben Solo once more. Or we will fail” she squeezed Rey’s hand once more before stepping aside so that the Jedi could stand. 

“Thank you” Rey whispered and turned to walk away. 

“Rey?”

She stopped and turned back to Maz.

“The braids, they suit you” Rey smiled softly. “They are fit for a Princess” she added and then she was gone, back down the corridor and out of sight.

\--

Rey was glad she had taken Maz’s advice and continued with her trip to the fresher. She hadn’t realised how much dirt and blood had still covered her body, and as she watched it wash away she felt like she could breathe easier. 

She was careful to keep her hair dry as she washed, not wanting to ruin the braids that Ben had so carefully crafted. She wanted him to see how much she appreciated him by keeping them in.

As she washed she thought about Maz’s words and her heart raced at the thought of someone else saying her and Ben’s destinies were entwined. Rey had known it to be true for some time, but only now that someone else had said it would she allow the gravity of that knowledge hit her. 

Whatever this bond between her and Ben Solo was it was not going away, and they were destined to be two halves of a whole. 

She didn’t know exactly how she felt about that. 

As she pulled on fresh clothing Rey’s thoughts went to more of Maz’s words. She had called Ben a Prince. She had referred to the braids as ‘fit for a Princess’. Rey had no idea what that meant, but she couldn’t help but feel it was something significant. 

Her face reddened as she thought about how that conversation had led her to keep the braids in and she was embarrassed by her choice. Would Ben think it strange for her to keep her hair this way? 

She had stalled for too long though and she needed to see him. 

_It is imperative that loneliness does not consume Ben Solo once more_ Maz’s words replayed in her head.

With a deep breath she exited the fresher and headed for the cells.

\--

Ben was cold. 

A strange feeling for him. He was used to being warm, the thick fabric of his Kylo Ren uniform had once comforted him. More recently he suspected it had been his proximity to Rey that had done the same. 

Now they were both gone. 

He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he had been led away from her and down to this holding cell. Too long.

Ben had remained quiet as he was led here, ignoring the hurtful words from the Resistance soldiers. He hadn’t protested the way that they roughly threw him into the cell, and he had taken the punches to the stomach and to the face that they had given him. 

The cuffs on his wrists may have stopped him from using his power, but he knew he could still have overpowered them if he had wanted. He had chosen not to. He knew it was better for Rey this way.

As he sat alone in this cell it was so difficult not to let his thoughts consume him. They were all he had right now.

The look in her eyes when she had come back to life.

_Ben had never been kissed. He had no idea what to expect, but he had dreamt of it. He had dreamt of her._

The feel of her body pressed against his as they shared their body heat.

_Rey sighed and reached for his hand, “Just -“ she tugged his arm down across her stomach. “It doesn’t mean anything” she insisted. “But it's fine there”_

The tenderness in her voice as she tried to tell him who he was meant to be, who Ben Solo was.

_“Ben is the good, the hope, that kept me fighting all this time”_

_His heart soared._

_“Ben kept me grounded. He told me to resist the pull to the Dark and instead fight to bring him back to the Light”_

_“Ben’s my friend…”_

And the absolute rush of happiness and belonging he had felt the last time he had held her in his arms, the last time he had kissed her.

_“In case it’s the last time…”_

_“You know if that’s the last time it’s not really one to remember”_

_As he kissed her he let down his walls and let all of his emotions pulse through the force and through their bond. It was overwhelming._

Ben was reminded of his Father’s words from so long ago - _Don’t ever fall in love, son. Hurts like hell_. 

And he supposed his Dad was right, because after all there was no denying it anymore. Falling in love was exactly what Ben was doing. 

\---

By the time Ben had managed to rid himself of his own thoughts it was Rey’s that flooded his mind through their connection. And wow, that hurt even more. 

It was fragmented. He couldn’t use his side of the connection thanks to the cuffs on his wrists, only what she let him feel and honestly he wasn’t too sure she was doing any of it by choice. 

Everything she felt was for the stormtrooper. FN2187. Finn. 

Her heart was breaking because he wasn’t talking to her. 

She felt a spark of jealousy at how he clung to another girl and turned his back on her. 

He didn’t understand her, he was disgusted by her and it was breaking her heart. 

It was breaking Ben’s heart too. 

He had known really. All along that her heart would belong to another, to a different traitor. 

A fire raged inside him. One he had not felt in a long time. Not since the last time he had fully been Kylo Ren. 

He was a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to keep going with this chapter, but I decided to save their interactions for the next one! Thanks again for reading, leaving kudos and commenting :)


	11. Chapter 11

Another few hours must have passed with him lying on the bunk of his cell consumed by his thoughts. 

But when he heard the sound of the door unlocking and and a flash of light through as it began to open he was overwhelmed by the power of their bond sparking back to life.

Ben got to his feet wordlessly, watching with anticipation as the door opened wider. And when she stepped through into his cell his breath caught in his throat. She was absolutely stunning, dressed in that same outfit she had worn the first time their bond had connected them from across the galaxy. That grey, high-collared vest looked almost regal. And her hair was still held together by the braids that he had crafted. 

That last part caused his heart to swell.

Rey took a few hesitant steps towards him, offering the smallest of smiles. She was nervous, he could feel it coursing through their bond but there was happiness there too.

The moment the door banged closed behind her Ben moved, pinning her to the nearest wall as his lips sought hers hungrily. 

At first Rey was caught off guard by his attack, but then she melted into him, her eyes falling shut as she kissed him back with just as much eagerness. 

But then her mind caught up with her body.

“Ben, what are you doing?” she whispered, her hands coming up to his chest to put distance between them, but he ignored her and sought out her lips once more. She kissed him back but only because she was weak. 

“We can’t” It hurt to say it, “Not here” she whispered urgently as Ben tried to reach for her once more. 

She turned her head to the side so he couldn’t find her lips, but his just brushed her jaw instead, then her neck and this was quite possibly even worse. How was she meant to resist him when he knew how to make her feel so good?

“Ben, stop!” she demanded with an air of confidence that she certainly did not feel. 

“So that’s it?” he asked in a hushed voice, his deep eyes seeking out hers. “It was only on the island, when no one else was around to see?” the hurt in his tone was evident and Rey’s heart ached at the rejection he was feeling as it coursed through their bond to her. 

“This isn’t going to get you out of this cell” she tried to clear her mind, tried to be rational because it was clear he was not thinking straight.

He ignored her words and spat his next venomously, “When _he_ isn’t around”.

Rey frowned, eyes searching his but he averted his gaze and stepped away from her. She wanted to ask what he was talking about but then a vision of Finn brushed against her mind through the bond. 

Was Ben jealous?

She didn’t really get time to linger on that thought though because when he sat back down on his bunk she suddenly noticed that his hands were still bound. 

“Why are these still on?” she asked irritatedly, walking over to the bunk and dropping to her knees in front of him. 

“So I can’t escape” he had his head bowed and he sounded defeated. It made her chest ache. 

“You’re not going to” her reply was very matter of fact. She knew Ben well enough to know he wouldn’t attempt to escape. 

“But they don’t know that”

Rey sighed and reached for his hands, letting herself enjoy the feel of his skin against hers before she unfastened the cuffs and let them fall to the floor. 

“Rey…” he whispered. 

_It’s okay_ she tried to tell him through her thoughts as she wrapped her hands around Ben’s and pressed her forehead against his.

They stayed like that for a few moments, silence enveloping them. Despite his injuries Ben had been the strong one on the island, he had been the one making sure she was okay, that the events of the past weeks hadn’t affected her. Now it was her turn to be strong, to help him through this. 

“Let me look at you” she finally whispered, squeezing his hands and lifting her head. 

But when Ben lifted his she frowned. 

“What happened to your face?”

In the light shining through the small window of the cell she could just about make out bruising around his left eye. Had he tried to hurt himself?

Ben swallowed, and lowered his gaze. 

“Ben…” 

When Rey reached out to gently brush her thumb against his jaw she felt the memory pulse through the Force and she was furious. Rey stood and turned to leave, ready to make those soldiers pay for this. 

But before she could move any further his large hand had found its way around her wrist, and calm flooded through her. It was the calmness that Ben felt when thinking about the situation. He didn’t care that they had hit him, he only cared about the fact that she was here with him and he wanted to make the most of it. 

Rey let out a soft sigh as the anger died down and Ben gently tugged her down to sit beside him.

“I’m sorry, I should never have brought us here,” she said quietly as her spare hand reached up to cover his bruises. The warmth that surged through him told Ben that she was using her newfound healing powers and it made his heart swell with pride. Did she have any idea how many people had tried and failed to master this skill, and she just did it as if it were as simple as breathing. 

He thought that perhaps to her it was. 

\---

Rey stayed with him for as long as she could without arousing any kind of suspicion from the rest of the Resistance. 

She sat beside him and quietly explained what had happened in the command center. 

“I promise I won’t let this be forever”

Ben Solo hadn’t returned to the light only to be thrown into a prison cell for the rest of his life. She wouldn’t allow it. 

“I know” he nodded. 

“I just need to prove to them that you’re not Kylo Ren. That you don’t want to hurt anyone”

Ben nodded once more but didn’t speak. He knew this was an uphill task and Rey deserved better than to be arguing with her friends over this.

They sat in silence a little longer, both of them unsure of what to say, but knowing that they needed each other’s company. 

A little while later he felt her hand on his thigh and she glanced up at him, as beautiful as she ever had been. “Ben, I -”

She didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence though because there was a loud rap on the other side of the door. 

“I have to go” she muttered apologetically as she sprung to her feet. 

Ben nodded and stood too. He towered over her as she reluctantly retrieved the cuffs from the floor, and gently fastened them back around his wrists. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow” Rey whispered, taking his hands in hers as she stretched up to brush her lips against his jaw. 

Slowly she released his hand, and as she did he felt something small and cool in his palm. 

Ben glanced down and saw the gold dice from his Father’s ship.

 _For luck_ he heard her voice in his head as she flashed a sad smile and walked out of the cell. 

\--- 

Later that night, as Rey lay in her bunk thinking about how she had gotten used to Ben’s warmth beside her over the last few weeks, their bond sparked to life. 

She felt it first, and when she rolled onto her side he was right there. 

“Ben…”

His eyes widened as he realised she was there, his lips parting as if he were about to speak but he couldn’t find the words.

“I’m so glad you’re here” her smile reached her eyes as she shifted so that her arm was folded beneath her head, letting her see him better. “Are you okay? Did they bring you food?”

Ben nodded, “It was a hell of a lot better than that gruel we’ve been eating”

Rey rolled her eyes, but the smile remained on her lips. 

“And how’s the bunk?”

“Comfier than the last one. How about yours?”

“Cold” she answered, averting her eyes from his. 

Ben raised an eyebrow. 

“What?”

“That explains why I’m here” he said simply and Rey’s face flushed red. 

“Maybe it was you that caused the connection” she suggested but when Ben lifted his hands, still bound together, it was clear it hadn’t been him. 

“Oh” she said simply and shuffled closer to him, reaching out and unfastening the cuffs. Honestly she hadn’t been sure if there connection was strong enough for her to be able to touch him, but thankfully it was.

The moment that he was free Ben’s force signature came surging through their bond and it felt like coming home. 

When she looked over at him he was rubbing his wrists where the cuffs had made them sore. 

“I’m sorry”

“Stop apologising” 

They were inches away from one another, both laying on their sides facing the other. Ben’s eyes darted around his face as he slowly took in every detail of hers. 

_You’re beautiful_.

Rey closed her eyes tightly as she felt his thoughts in her head, her heart fluttering in her chest at the unexpected words. No one had ever called her beautiful before. She wasn’t anything special, especially in comparison to the many different women who likely had thrown themselves at Kylo Ren. 

_There’s only you_.

Her eyes opened as the next words brushed her mind and she found he was still staring at her intensely. There was often a storm raging behind those deep and soulful eyes of his, but as Rey gazed back at him she realised that tonight it was more like a fire burning - and somehow she knew it was for her. 

Throwing caution to the wind she leant forward and captured his lips in hers. 

He froze and she hesitated, her forehead falling against his. 

_You said we couldn’t_.

 _I don’t care anymore_.

His breath tickled her neck as he sighed in relief and Rey smiled happily as she leaned in and kissed him gently. When she felt him respond Rey grinned against his lips, keeping the kiss slow and gentle, Ben following suit. 

This was different from the other kisses they’d shared, this was slow and exploratory. This was them getting to know one another, opening their hearts to the possibility of something new. 

It wasn’t the primal urge to be quell the loneliness like most of their other kisses. 

When they broke apart her heart was hammering in her chest and Ben’s breathing was heavy as he looked at her as though he were completely mesmerised. 

Their eyes searched one another’s and then she was lunging back in with a kiss that knocked the breath out of him and landed her practically in his arms. 

She kissed him deeply now, her hands cupping both sides of his face as she poured everything into her kiss. Ben’s arm slid around her waist, holding her in place as she slowly explored his mouth. With a jolt of confidence she pressed her tongue against his lips and they parted, giving her whatever she wanted. 

He was letting her take control and it was intoxicating. The way every part of his body reacted to her touch, the way he slowed down when she slowed down, the way his passion reignited the moment hers did. She couldn’t get enough of the feeling of him beneath her, not knowing where she ended and where he began. 

Briefly she broke away to regain her breath and seeing the way he looked up at her in awe just made her stomach flip. She had absolutely no idea how or why but this man worshipped her and she had never felt so lucky in her life. 

Rey shifted her body as she leaned in to kiss him once more, moving practically on top of him as his arm tightened around her waist, tugging her to his chest. She kissed him with everything in her but it wasn’t needy, it wasn’t feral, it was tender. It was loving, she thought as his tongue met hers and she couldn’t suppress a soft moan against his lips. 

The strength of their connection in the force was spurring her on, humming around them and igniting the fire in her belly. 

“Ben” she whispered as her lips caught his yet again, her fingers sliding beneath his shirt, needing to feel more of him. 

His response was to slide a hand to the back of her neck and kiss her deeply. 

As things got more heated Rey found herself tugging at the thin material of his shirt. It was in her way and she wanted rid of it. They broke apart just long enough to pull his shirt over his head and rid her of her vest before their lips gravitated towards one another again.

Rey savoured the sweetness of his kiss before breaking away, her hands moving to his chest and pushing him back down onto the bunk. 

He looked at her quizzically but she gave him no answer, instead she practically climbed atop him, her fingers sliding down the muscles of his abs, her lips claiming the freckles on his neck and his shoulders as her own. 

Ben groaned softly, his hands sliding to her thighs and up under the thin material of her shirt, letting his fingers explore her skin as her lips trailed down his chest. 

He had never felt this complete before. He didn’t think he could ever imagine being apart from her. 

As her kisses eventually began to slow Ben realised that she was crying, her tears leaving damp patches on his skin as she pressed a few kisses above his heart.

“Rey” he whispered and she fell into his arms. 

“I d - don’t know what do anymore” she admit, and it broke his heart how scared she sounded. 

“Shh” he soothed her gently, his arms sliding around her back and holding her to him. She buried into his neck and Ben pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“It’s okay” he promised, “I know you’ll figure things out. I know I won’t be locked up forever” 

Rey nodded against his shoulder. “I promise I’ll save you”

“You’ve been saving me ever since the moment we met” he whispered as they eventually drifted off to sleep in one another’s arms once again.


	12. Chapter 12

Rey had fallen asleep pressed against Ben, her hand holding onto his arm that was wrapped tightly around her waist. The next morning Rey woke with her hand to her stomach, but his arm was gone. 

And the fact that she could barely feel him in the Force told her that he had put the cuffs back on. 

She stared blankly at the wall ahead of her, wondering if she would ever fully be free of this feeling of loneliness. In Ben she had found the other half of her soul, she was sure of it, but when she wasn’t with him - in person or in the Force - it hurt like hell. 

\---

She didn’t stay in bed much longer, unable to stop thinking about how cold it felt without his arms, and dressed for the day before slowly wandering the familiar corridors to the canteen. 

When she had first joined the Resistance the food had been one of her favourite things. On Jakku she had barely eaten. Her whole life had revolved around scavenging enough parts to earn her something to eat later that evening. 

Joining the Resistance she hadn’t been able to believe just how much food she was allowed to eat, and she didn’t have to trade anything for it. Finn had found it amusing, he had always been well fed as a Stormtrooper, and had taught her to slow down and appreciate the taste of the different foods. 

Finn.

She missed him.

Rey sighed as she sat down on an empty bench with her food, glancing around for any sign of her friends. 

Poe was already here but he was in a heated argument with one of the X-Wing Commanders, he hadn’t even noticed her. 

She noticed some of the others giving her strange looks but no one dare say anything about her after they had seen her attack Finn a few days ago. 

With her head bowed Rey focused on eating and then getting out of here, but the next time she looked up she saw Finn walking into the canteen. 

Their eyes locked from across the room and her heart pounded in her chest. 

She offered a small smile, stood to greet him, his name was on the tip of her tongue and then he turned and walked away from her, choosing to sit at the furthest away table.

Rey’s insides turned to ice and she sat back down miserably. 

He hated her and it was breaking her heart.

Rey had never felt so alone. Not even back on Jakku where she had literally had no one. 

That was better than this. Being surrounded by the people she loved but knowing that they wanted nothing to do with her was torture. This was like the lightning piercing her body once more. Worse even.

\---

After breakfast she had intended to go and see Ben, but Finn’s rejection earlier had set off a whole wave of anxieties. 

Why hadn’t he been there when she woke up? Why had he put the cuffs back on? Did he want to sever their connection? Had she been too bold last night?

Rey was embarrassed. 

That surge of power, hope and happiness that had pulsed through her when she had taken the cuffs from him last night had overpowered her. 

She had let it feed her emotions, and it had made her braver. 

Knowing that that feeling came from the bond between her and Ben had made her so sure of her actions as she had reached for him that night. 

But now she was embarrassed. 

Their kisses before had been soft and sweet, they had also been needy, but they had never been as tender, loving and passionate as last night. 

She had desired every part of Ben, the feel of his skin against hers had set her insides on fire. For a moment she had been sure she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself. Would he have stopped them?

And as if that wasn’t embarrassing enough she had then cried in his arms because their connection absolutely terrified her. 

No wonder he had put the cuffs back on and severed their bond. He had likely done it the moment she had fallen asleep, ready to be rid of her. 

She knew she couldn’t face him now. What must he think of her? 

A filthy scavenger trying to take from him what she couldn’t have. He deserved better. 

_There’s only you_

The memory of his words sent a sharp pain through her heart and she shook her head and grabbed her lightsaber. She needed to focus on something else. 

\---

Training was easy. Training was what she was good at. 

Well, she was better at it than dealing with her feelings for Ben. And the pain at Finn’s anger. 

As she reached the start of her training course she thought of Leia and her heart ached. Leia who had known who and what Rey was yet she had trained her anyway, she had trusted Rey to bring back her son and had given her life in the end to help. 

“I wish you were here now” she whispered into the emptiness of the forest. “You’d know what to do. You’d know how to save him”

Rey took a deep breath and reached for her satchel and lightsaber. She paused as she saw two of them, and smiled as she reached out for the one Leia had crafted for herself. 

It only felt right that she continue Leia’s Jedi journey now. 

\---

Poe had always thought leadership would come naturally to him. His arrogance had. Or so Leia had told him on a number of occasions. 

He knew he was a good leader, he knew that Leia and the rest of the Resistance would never have trusted him if not, but Poe had no idea just how difficult being a leader was. 

This feud between Finn and Rey was wearing him down. 

He had seen them at breakfast, the way they had stared across the room at one another before Finn had distanced himself completely. 

He had thought the two inseparable. He remembered how annoying they were when apart, constantly checking in on the other. And after Exegol, Finn had been a shell of his normal self thinking Rey lost forever. 

He wanted to bang their heads together and force them to make up, but the problem was he knew exactly why Finn was so hurt. 

Rey had literally brought the enemy to them. 

The enemy that last time he had seen her she had been so intent on destroying. But now she was claiming he was a good man. 

Poe had felt the power of Kylo Ren inside his mind and he hated that he had to agree with Finn, it felt as though the villainous Supreme Leader had a hold over Rey.

Whatever was happening Poe knew he needed to put an end to this. He needed to find out what was really going on. 

\---

Ben had woken early that morning to find that their connection was still open and Rey lay fast asleep in his arms. 

He lay still, trying not to wake her. She needed the rest, so much had been put on her young shoulders over the last few years. And now the war was won she deserved an easy life. 

He watched the steady rise and fall of her chest and thought about last night and the way she had kissed him. What had changed to make her kiss him that way? 

Ben really didn’t know what the future held for them, for him. The Resistance could choose to execute him and he couldn’t argue it. He had done terrible things. He could be left to rot in this cell for the rest of his life. But if by some miracle he was let free what would he do then?

Rey stirred in her sleep and he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her shoulder.

He would follow her to the ends of the world. That’s what he would do with his life. If she would let him. 

Ben allowed himself a few more moments watching her sleep, but he could hear noises outside of his cell and he knew it might not be long before someone came to check on him. 

Gently he squeezed the hand that was still entwined with his and reluctantly removed his arm from around her waist. Rey shifted at the movement but turned back onto her side and continued to sleep. 

He wondered how many years of her life she had spent barely sleeping, having to be aware of potential dangers around her. He was glad she didn’t have to do that anymore. He was glad she was safe.

Ben sat up on his bunk and reached for the discarded cuffs. He knew it would close their bond but all hell would break loose if he was found without them. 

He picked up his shirt that was discarded last night, his heart pounding at the memory, pulled it back over his head and then fastened the cuffs back around his wrists, watching sadly as Rey faded from his side.

—-

It felt like much later in the day when his cell door opened but he wasn’t greeted by the overwhelming power of the force bond but the stony face of the pilot, Poe Dameron. 

Ben stood from his bunk. He might have no authority here but his height over Poe made him feel slightly less like a prisoner.

The pilot’s eyes were fixed on his, no emotion given away. 

“Leave us” he gestured for the other guards to close the door of the cell. 

Once they were gone Poe stepped closer. 

“I hope you’re enjoying our hospitality?”

Ben remained silent.

“Not so intimidating without the mask” he gestured towards Ben’s face.

“I’m not trying to intimidate you” he replied simply, eyes fixed on the other man. “And if you’re trying to intimidate me -“ he paused, looked Poe up and down. “It’s not working”

The frustration in Poe’s face was evident as he clenched his jaw and turned away pacing the room. 

“Tell us the plans of the First Order”

“The First Order is dead”

Poe shook his head and turned to Ben once more. 

“There’s still some of them left. Hidden throughout pockets of the Galaxy, biding their time” 

Even without the Force Ben could sense Poe’s unease at the thought.

“I won’t let them do what Palpatine did. This ends now” the Pilot continued.

Ben watched silently, wondering what his Mother had seen in this man when she had made him a leader. 

“I’m a traitor to the First Order” 

Poe shook his head. 

“You’re a liar” he spat venomously as he got closer to Ben, having to restrain himself from pushing the taller man. 

“Tell me where they’re hiding”

“I don’t know”

Poe rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

“You know, I’m really trying to do this the easy way but if I have to make this hurt I will”

Ben didn’t even blink and he knew it was annoying Poe.

“Did you love your Mother?”

This tactic caught Ben off guard, and Poe felt triumphant at the shift in Kylo Ren’s eyes. 

“Yes”

“Then fight for what she believed in”

“I can’t fight when I’m in chains” Ben lifted his wrists.

“Fight by giving me the information to end this war”

“The war is over. Rey ended it”

“What have you done to her?”

Ben swallowed at the mention of Rey but managed to keep his gaze fixed on Poe.

“Nothing that she didn’t consent to”

That riled Poe, he could see the anger burn through his gaze and he went for Ben, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck.

“I’ve felt you in my mind, I know how that feels. If I find out you’ve done that to her -“

“She’s stronger than me. I couldn’t even if I wanted to”

Poe let go of Ben and stepped away frustratedly. 

He was about to speak but he paused as his boot hit something on the floor. Poe reached down and lifted the object. 

Ben’s eyes widened as he realised it was the grey vest that Rey had been wearing yesterday. The one that they had discarded along with his shirt.

He could feel his face reddening at the thought. 

Their bond has been getting stronger and stronger, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that objects could now move between them - much like the necklace he had ripped from her on Pasaana.

Ben’s mind was racing but he couldn’t come up with anything to say, he couldn’t possibly explain why Rey’s clothing would be in his cell. 

Poe glared at him once more before turning on his heels and exiting the cell, the vest still in hand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be two chapters but I couldn't figure out where to end one and start the next, so here have a bumper chapter. Fingers crossed it's at least half decent!
> 
> Rey's going to have to face a few truths...but hopefully can find some confidence along the way.

It had been three days since she had fallen asleep in Ben’s arms and now she was avoiding him. 

It was pathetic, she knew that, but she needed to distance herself from him so that she could think straight, so that she could fight for his release.

She hadn’t completely ignored him, she had promised not to leave him alone, but her trips to the cell had been brief, to drop off food or bring him fresh clothes. 

On a night she had let the connection spark to life briefly but she had stopped herself from reaching for him, as difficult as that had been. And then she would close it because she couldn’t bear the anguish he felt at her distance.

\---

“He doesn’t know anything, because he turned his back on them!” Rey shouted angrily.

Poe had called a meeting with the Resistance leaders that morning and Rey had made sure to be there, she knew they would talk about Ben. He needed an ally in the room. 

“He’s a liar!” she heard the call of one of the other Resistance fighters. 

“He saved me! He brought me _back_ to life and it could have killed him”

Those gathered in the command center shook their head, disbelieving of her words. 

“It would have been better if it had” she heard someone else mutter.

“Ben Solo is a good man” she looked around the room. 

“Rey…” There was a warning tone to Poe’s voice. 

“No, I’m not finished” she growled and turned to the rest of the room. “Ben came to me when I needed him. The rest of you were happy for the nobody from Jakku to face Palpatine alone. No one came to help me down in the pit. Ben did”

There were murmurs around the room.

“That’s not exactly true” 

It was Finn who spoke now, and Rey fell silent looking up at him from across the room.

“We tried to help you, _I_ tried to help you on Kef Bir. You pushed me away” 

This was the most he had spoken to her since she returned to the base. 

“Finn…” she began to argue but he shook his head. 

“I have seen the things he’s done, Rey. I’ve seen the pain Kylo Ren inflicted on the Galaxy”

“And _I’ve_ seen the things Ben Solo can do, if only he’s given a chance”

“He doesn’t deserve a chance!”

“You’re not so different from him, Finn. You were part of the First Order too, you -”

“That is completely different!”

“Alright!” Poe interrupted as he felt the tension in the room. 

“The fact of the matter is that we need to find what’s left of the First Order before they find us” 

If she hadn’t have been so angry then Rey would have been impressed at how calm and rational Poe was remaining. 

“And if Kylo Ren isn’t willing to help then we don’t have time to worry about his loyalties” Poe continued and the whole room cheered in agreement.

“He _is_ willing to help” Rey complained. 

“I’ve given him chance after chance and he insists that he doesn’t know where they are”

“There’s other ways he could help”

“He’s our prisoner” Finn spoke up again. “We’ll find the First Order without him and when we’re done we’ll decide his fate”

Sounds of agreement filled the room once more and it felt as though the decision was made. People began to disperse. 

Rey glared angrily at Finn but was interrupted by Poe’s hand reaching for her shoulder.

“We need to talk…”

She frowned, confused but nodded and followed him to his quarters.

“Poe, I know you -”

She fell silent as he tossed the grey vest into her arms and her heart dropped.

“Where did you…” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer. 

“In his cell, three days ago”

Rey stared at the floor, her mind racing.

“It must h - have fallen from my satchel…”

Poe raised an eyebrow, folding his arms as he leant back against his desk. He wasn’t stupid.

“Rey, I want to help you but you _need_ to tell me what’s going on. Otherwise I’m going to start coming up with my own conclusions and I’m not sure either of us will like where that leads”

“Nothing” she replied defiantly and Poe sighed.

“Don’t lie. I’ve never seen so much colour in his pasty face”

She stayed silent for a few moments wondering what she should do. She wished Ben was here, she wished he could tell her what do.

“We have a connection…” she began.

Finn. Finn was the one she should have been confiding this in. Not Poe.

“A connection? Kriff, Rey! What the hell has he done to your head?”

“It’s a connection in the Force. A dyad they call it…” she really didn’t know how to explain it. 

Poe just stared at her.

“I know it sounds crazy”

“Yeah you’re right about that”

“But it’s true, Poe. I can feel him in the Force. I can feel his pain, his misery - I can feel his happiness” That beautiful smile of his flashed across her mind. “I can hear his thoughts. I’ve seen his past, his future” she tried her best to put it into words. “It doesn’t matter where we are in the Galaxy, when the bond comes to life it’s like we’re in the same room, inches apart”

She knew Poe must think her crazy.

“Please believe me, Poe. This bond between us - that’s how I know he’s changed. When I touch him now I only feel Ben, Kylo Ren is gone”

“Rey, I don’t know. You have to admit this all sounds pretty crazy…”

“I know. I thought so too, but it’s been like this for over a year now”

“A year?!”

“Yes” she averted her eyes from his.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because it was terrifying”

Poe sighed, his arms still folded across his chest. He wanted to believe her but he didn’t know if he could.

“None of this explains what _that_ -” he nodded to the vest. “Was doing on his floor”

“It’s the bond” she said softly, her head bowed as her face heated up. “Three nights ago the bond came alive. The connection is getting stronger every day, it means objects can cross between us”

Poe frowned and she knew he was wondering why her clothing would have passed into Kylo Ren’s cell. 

_Please don’t let me explain that_ She thought to herself and luckily he seemed satisfied enough and took a few steps closer to her. Or perhaps he also didn’t want to hear her have to explain it.

“People care about you, Rey. I care about you. Finn cares”

Rey nodded. 

“You have to understand how worrying it us for us to see you with him, for you to be defending him after everything he’s done”

“I know and I won’t make excuses for him. I know _and_ he knows the bad that he’s done. But you have to believe he’s changed. And that many of the things he’s done, he had no choice”

“There’s always a choice”

“Not when someone like Palpatine is in your head”

Poe sighed. 

“Give him a chance, Poe. Give him the chance to prove that he wants to make up for the things he’s done”

There was a pause, and to Rey it felt like it lasted forever before Poe nodded. 

“Thank you” she said breathlessly.

“I have no idea how I’m going to explain this to everyone…”

“Maybe you don’t have to. You are the General now…”

“Co-General”

Rey raised an eyebrow.

“I sort of asked Finn to lead with me…”

Rey rolled her eyes, “Why’d you do that?” But there was a happy smile on her face and Poe knew she was teasing, there was pride in her eyes at the thought of her best friend a General in the Resistance.

“How about I handle Finn, and you worry about everyone else?”

Poe tilted his head to the side as if considering it before smiling. “Deal”

Rey beamed back at him and turned to leave.

“Hey, Rey…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you’re back”

“Me too” she smiled brightly and disappeared to find Finn.

\---

She was absolutely terrified of speaking to Finn but if it meant getting Ben out of that cell, it was worth it.

Plus it meant a chance at getting her best friend back.

When she found him he was sat in the recreational space playing Pazaak with Rose and Chewbacca.

When she walked in Chewie roared and she smiled, “Me too, Chewie” she replied and turned her attention to Finn who was avoiding eye contact with her. 

“We need to talk” she said simply. 

“Not interested”

“I won’t take no for an answer”

“Then I’ll leave” he moved to stand but Rose reached out for his arm.

“Finn…” she pleaded, she had seen how much it hurt Finn to not speak with his best friend.

“Please, Finn…” Rey stepped closer. “I know I’ve hurt you. But you’re my best friend and I can’t do any of this without you”

Finn sighed heavily and Chewie growled. 

“No it’s okay Chewie, you and Rose can stay” Rey replied, glancing at the Wookie. “You’re my friends too”

Rose offered her a small smile and Rey sat down in the free chair.

“I know none of you trust Kylo Ren” It felt weird to even say that name. “But I’m not asking you to, I’m asking you to trust Ben Solo”

Finn rolled his eyes and she reached out for his hand, relief flooding through her when he didn’t pull away. 

“He saved me, Finn. You know it. You felt it when I died” 

Finn flinched slightly at the memory. 

“But here I am, alive. Because of Ben”

Finn glanced towards her. 

“I know that you hate the First Order, more than most of us, for what they did to you. And it was so brave of you to turn on them, to fight for the Resistance instead. But you did it, and look at what you’ve achieved, look at the friends that you’ve made”

Rose caught Rey’s eye and smiled softly, encouraging the other woman to continue. 

“Ben needs that now. He needs our support whilst he puts the First Order behind and him tries to make up for the things he’s done”

“Rey, I didn’t murder and torture innocent people”

“I know” she whispered, squeezing his hand. It felt nice to touch him again.

“I know what I’m about to tell you is going to sound crazy, but I need you to believe me…” Finn frowned but she continued, “Me and Ben, we have a connection…”

“Oh, seriously?! Please do _not_ tell me you’re in love with him!”

“Finn, no!!” her voice was much more high pitched than usual as she immediately went to deny the allegation. 

Chewie roared and shrugged. 

“No Chewie, I do not look at him like that!”

She definitely did. 

“Finn just listen” she was getting irritated with him now.

“Go on…” Rose said supportively.

“It’s a bond through the Force” she tried to explain. “It first opened when I was training on Ahch-To with Luke. Even though we were at opposite ends of the Galaxy it brought us together, as if we were as close as you and I are now” 

Finn looked up at her, his eyes searching her face for lies. He found none.

“It’s been getting stronger ever since. I can feel his pain and his misery. And he can feel mine” she tried to explain. “After Han -” Chewie wailed and Rey reached out for his hand too. “I could feel the way the guilt tore him apart. He hated what he’d done and the pull to the light became more tempting for him. Finn, I went to him on the Supremacy because I thought he would turn, I thought Ben Solo would come back”

“But he didn’t”

Rey shook her head. “He almost did” she whispered. “I never told you that it was him that killed Snoke”

Finn’s eyes widened and Rose gasped. 

“He saved me that day and he saved me on Exegol” she paused. “If you care about me at all, any of you -” she looked between her three friends. “Then you’ll trust me when I say that Ben deserves a chance to prove he’s changed”

Rose glanced at Finn unsure of what the man was thinking. 

“None of this changes that he should pay for the things he’s done” Finn finally spoke up.

“He has. Finn, I’ve felt the torment inside him. He hates what he became” she swallowed and spoke aloud one of her deepest secrets. “When he brought me back on Exegol, he thought it would kill him. And he’d made peace with that, he wanted to die, he wanted the pain to end. He thought it was the least he deserved”

“And he told you that?”

“No” she shook her head. “I felt it through the bond. I don’t think he even knows that I know. It tears him apart even now, thinking he should have died there”

Finn sighed heavily. 

“He’s my friend, Finn. I can’t tell you how relieved I was that he survived. This whole time that I’ve been connected to him I’ve wanted to meet Ben, and now that he’s finally taken Kylo Ren’s place I would do anything to protect him”

“You’re in love with him”

“Finn, stop saying that please” Rey couldn’t afford to even think about that possibility. “This connection between us, it brings balance to the Force. I don’t think love has anything to do with it, we’re destined to be in each other’s lives” she couldn’t believe she was saying this out loud. 

She had known ever since Palpatine had referred to them as a ‘dyad’, she had read about it in the sacred Jedi texts, but she had been too afraid to voice it and accept just how powerful the bond she and Ben shared was. “We’re two halves of the same soul and I know - I know that sounds crazy but it’s the truth”

When she finished she glanced down at her lap, terrified of how Finn would react, terrified of what people would think of her being so intrinsically linked with Ben. 

“This is crazy”

“I know” she could feel tears in her eyes, Finn didn’t believe her. 

“I want to believe you, Rey” he squeezed her hand and hope sprung back to life. “It is completely crazy but so was two nobodies stealing a Corellian Freighter and outrunning the First Order with a Resistance droid”

Rey looked up at him and the smile on his face made her heart soar with happiness and then she was in his arms and there was a bright grin on her face as she buried her head against his neck.

“I missed you”

“I missed you too” replied her best friend.

The roar from Chewie made her laugh and lift her head to look at the Wookie. 

“I know! I’m sure he misses you too” she smiled brightly. “He’s told me all about you getting him into trouble with Han when he was a kid”

Chewie shrugged and wailed. 

“He also says you’re a dejarik cheat”

“Now _that_ I can agree with him on!” Finn smiled brightly.

Chewie growled his response at both her and Finn before another wail.

“Yeah” she nodded. “I think he’d like that too” she smiled, thinking of how nice it would be to see Ben and Chewie around that old dejarik table on the Falcon.

\---

It was almost sunset by the time Rey managed to get down to Ben’s cell. 

She was so grateful that Finn had forgiven her that she hadn’t been able to leave her friends’ side and had ended up in a heated game of pazaak for the next few hours.

Chewie had won.

They were all sure he’d cheated.

She was hopeful that Ben wouldn’t mind. She had good news for him after all.

When the door opened he stood from his bunk and stared at her. 

“Hi…” she said breathlessly. These past few days without him had been difficult, but the power of their bond awakening was overpowering.

“Hi” his voice was quiet and he didn’t make a move to step closer to her. In fact, he looked a little worried.

“Are you okay?” she asked as she stepped towards him, immediately reaching to take off the cuffs, their bond hitting her at full force and making her reach for his hands to steady herself.

“Fine”

“I thought you didn’t lie to me?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Where have you been?” his eyes searched hers and she felt the disappointment that had met him every day she hadn’t visited. 

“I was being foolish,” she explained. “I was embarrassed and I thought that distancing myself from you would be best for us both” she wanted to be honest with him. “I was wrong”

She looked up at him with a hopeful smile. 

“Will you forgive me?”

“Why were you embarrassed?” he asked, there was no anger in his tone, simply intrigue as he rubbed at his sore wrists. 

Rey sighed, and closed her eyes briefly. “Because of how I acted the last time we were together” she admit gently and when Ben didn’t respond, she continued. “I was much more forward than before, I -”

“I wouldn’t call it forward. I’d call it open”

She frowned and urged him to continue.

“Whatever this between us is - everytime that something happens you end up pulling away and distancing yourself”

“It scares me”

“I know. I feel it too”

Rey bit her lip and waited for him to continue.

“That night you opened yourself to the possibility of this really being something” Ben took a step towards her and she almost stepped back but he caught her hand. “It made me so happy, Rey”

She swallowed nervously, her eyes fixed on his. She swore he could see into her soul just with those eyes of his. He didn’t need the Force.

“I know that it’s scary. But side by side we can face anything” he promised, tangling his fingers with hers and lifting her hand to press his lips to it. 

Rey glanced down at her feet, giving herself a moment to remember how to breathe before looking back up at Ben and nodding. 

He smiled and her heart flipped. 

“Come on…” she whispered and tugged him towards the door. 

“What?” he was confused and used his strength to stop her just by the exit.

“I’m starving” she said simply and pulled him out of the cell with her, leaving Ben’s mind racing. 

\---

The walk to the canteen was a strange one, her nerves were jangling. Was she about to lead Ben into an ambush, was she about to admit that she had a thing for the former Supreme Leader or was she simply going to be able to sit and enjoy a meal around friends, with Ben by her side?

She was praying for the third option. 

She dropped Ben’s hand before they walked into the canteen, and she knew she was a coward for it.

Rey heard the gasps and the gossiping as they walked in together, but she kept her eyes ahead of her. 

“What do you want?”

“Anything” he replied softly as she thrust a tray into his hands.

“The cushnip is good” she shrugged as she started loading her plate with a bit of everything. 

“It doesn’t sound it…” he teased and she had to fight her smile. 

“Trust me”

“You know I do”

She couldn’t fight the smile that time. 

Once their plates were full Rey led him to an empty table in the far corner. As much as she wanted people to accept him she knew that suddenly sitting the man they still saw as Kylo Ren down for dinner with them would not be a great strategy. 

“I’d forgotten how you eat”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked through a mouthful of food and Ben rolled his eyes.

“You know you’re supposed to taste it, right?”

“Shut up and eat your own” she grumbled, but she couldn’t hide the smile. 

Smiling, teasing, fun Ben was her favourite. 

Well, the favourite side of him that she’d admit to anyway. 

When she was alone with her own thoughts there was other things she liked.

They hadn’t been sitting for long when she heard footsteps approaching and when Rey turned she saw her friends. A wave of happiness and relief flooded through her chest. 

“Ben…” she said softly and he lifted his head. 

“You know Finn. And Poe…” The three men exchanged nods, it was awkward but it was a start and she appreciated it. “This is Rose…” she nodded to the woman in the group. 

“Hi…” Rose was nervous, Rey could tell. 

“Nice to meet you…” Ben’s voice sounded strained but she knew he was trying. And besides Rose just seemed relieved. 

“And you -”

The loud roar announced the arrival of the Wookie and before she could even see what was happening Chewie was pulling Ben into his arms in one of those tight Wookie hugs. Ben would no doubt be aching for days. 

Silence had fallen around the canteen as people watched what was happening. 

“Chewie, it’s g -” The Wookie released Ben and then pushed him back forcefully, roaring once again. 

Ben nodded. “I know. And I’m sorry Chewie, you have to believe me. I hate myself for it”

Chewie wailed and nodded. 

“What are they saying…” she heard Finn whisper. 

“Chewie’s angry about Han…” Rey explained, her eyes fixed eagerly on the interaction between the two of them. “But he’s also really glad to see…” She paused, and then a grin broke out across her face“... _Baby Ben_ ” and she laughed heartily as Ben’s face flushed. 

“Don’t” he warned her with a huff.

“What’s that Chewie? You have tonnes of stories about ‘Baby Ben’? Yes, we’d love to hear them” she beamed as the six of them sat down to eat. 

“Stop enjoying this” Ben muttered under his breath once he was back beside her. 

“Never” she replied happily and tucked in to the rest of her food. 

They mostly ate in silence but Rose tried to make small talk with Ben and Rey loved her even more for it. 

And when they had finished Ben offered to dispose of their trays with Poe and Chewie. 

“Look, I’m really trying to be okay with all of this for you, Rey. But you are 100% in love with him and that-”

“I am not!” she insisted, the pitch of her voice causing Ben to turn back towards her. 

Finn raised his eyebrows, and Rose bowed her head.

“Finn, I’ve never even had a boyfriend” she hissed embarrassed. “I’m not just going to go and fall in love”

Footsteps approached and they quietened down.

“You ready?” She turned at the sound of Ben’s voice and nodded.

Rey offered her friends a small smile and a glare in Finn’s direction before she led Ben back out of the canteen. 

“So what was all that about?”

“Huh?” She was lost in her own thoughts.

“With FN - Finn…”

“Oh nothing. He was just teasing me”

Ben clicked his tongue and carried on walking. 

“He doesn’t like me”

Rey raised her eyebrows in a _seriously_ kind of way. 

“Ben, you don’t like him”

Ben considered it for a moment and shrugged.

“Hmm”

Rey rolled her eyes but she couldn’t suppress the smile.

“Come on, let’s find you some empty quarters”

“We’re not going back to the cell?”

“No. Poe and Finn have agreed to give you a chance” 

Silence.

“Ben this took a lot. So _please_ just do what they ask of you”

“It depends what they ask”

She sighed. Why did he have to be so difficult?

“Right now it’s that you don’t lose your temper, you don’t hurt anyone and you don’t alert the First Order to our whereabouts”

“I don’t know where the F-”

“I know! But they still think you could” 

Ben sighed but nodded. 

“So I’m not staying with you?”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. 

“No uh - I thought you’d want your own space…” 

“I don’t need a lot of space” his voice was low and she took a moment to think over his words. 

“I’m not very tidy. It would drive you mad…”

Rey had never really had much that belonged to her, so she wasn’t precious about the state of her quarters. 

“No it wouldn’t”

She raised her eyebrows. She had seen his quarters on the Star Destroyer, he was the opposite of her. Probably came with the territory of being a soldier.

“Okay maybe it would. But I’d learn to deal with it”

Rey smiled and squeezed his arm gently. 

“Ben, it’s a lot asking the others to let you out of the cell, to eat with everyone else. I think right now it would be best if we have our own quarters”

“Okay…” he whispered and let her lead him to one of the empty rooms. She knew he understood what she was saying, even if he didn’t necessarily agree with it.

Ben had to stoop to enter the doorway and it reminded Rey just how tall he was. 

Once inside she stepped back and let him take it all in. 

“So I could ask them to find more clothes for you. And there’s a fresher just through that door” she pointed. “And I could see if I could get you some cards or something in case you get bored…”

“It’s fine” he promised but she didn’t look convinced. “Rey, it’s perfect. I don’t need a lot”

Rey smiled softly. 

“Should I leave you to rest?” she asked softly.

“Not yet” 

She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and then they gravitated towards one another. Rey wasn’t even sure who started it but Ben’s lips were on hers, warm and needy. 

She kissed him back with just as much eagerness, her arms sliding around his neck. 

When they broke away a few moments later her breathing was heavy. 

How had she gone three days without this?

She felt his hands slide across her waist, sending shivers through her body.

Ben leant down to kiss her once more but she quickly unravelled her arms from his neck and placed her hands against his chest to stop him.

“Ben, wait…”

A flicker of hurt and confusion bounced across his eyes as he looked down at her, wondering what was wrong.

“Do you have feelings for me?”

“What?” 

That had caught him off guard.

“Because it’s driving me insane. I can’t sleep at night. I get anxious around you, I overthink every interaction with you and I _need_ to know”

He stared at her quietly for a moment before nodding. 

“Yes”

Rey laughed with relief. 

“And uh - it’s not just because I’m the only one here that doesn’t hate you? Because the other girls...they aren’t here…” 

She needed to be sure.

Ben laughed softly, his smile was gorgeous.

“There’s _never_ been anyone else. Only you, Rey”

“Good” she whispered, her heart pounding. 

Ben’s eyes searched her, wondering who would make the first move. His question was answered moments later, because her hands were on his face and she was kissing him hard. 

When she broke away there was a brilliant smile on her face that did things to Ben’s heart. 

“Me too” she whispered, her eyes searching his. “There’s never been anyone else, for me too, I mean…”

Ben’s smile could probably have powered the Death Star it was so bright. 

He lifted her into his arms and kissed her senseless.

By the time they released one another the sun had set and the room was shrouded in darkness. 

“I should go…”

“Stay” he reached for her hand, pressed his lips to it. “Rey…”

“I had Poe asking why my vest was in your cell earlier”

“Well, you should have told him” he scoffed.

“I was trying to get you some mercy, not have him murder you” she laughed softly, pushing him playfully and Ben smiled. 

“And besides, I’m not sure I’d be able to stop at just the vest this time…” she quipped, causing Ben’s entire face to flush.

Rey smiled knowing that it was her that had done that to him. 

“We’ll see each other tomorrow” she promised and Ben nodded in defeat. 

She took a step closer to him, reaching up on her toes and brushed the softest of kisses to his lips before turning to leave.

Just as she reached the door though she stopped and turned to him, a bright smile on her face. 

“I really _really_ like you, Ben Solo…” she half whispered.

“I know” he responded cheekily, his stomach flipping and his heart pounding as he watched her leave, the happiness on her face would be etched in his memory forever.


	14. Chapter 14

There was a stupidly happy grin on Rey’s face the whole walk back to her own quarters. It was a pretty good job she didn’t bump into anyone on the way, because she thought she could explain it even less than she could explain how her vest got in Ben’s cell. 

When the door of her room closed behind her Rey leant back against it, her eyes closed as she let out an elated sigh. 

Ben’s feelings for her were real and she could hardly believe it. She didn’t need to be scared anymore, she could finally open her heart and...well, could Finn be right could she be in l-

“What are you doing here?”

She opened her eyes the moment she felt him. 

Ben was standing at the other side of the room, a smirk on his face as he raised his eyebrows and shrugged amusedly.

“Ben you can’t be here” her eyes were wide as she stepped closer to him. 

He let her reach for him, chuckling as she turned him and started to push him towards the door as if he had walked right through it and not appeared through their bond. 

“You need to leave” The high pitch of her voice just amused him further.

“Rey…” he sighed and she let go of him, turning to look up at him.

“No, Ben! This was the deal, we have separate quarters”

He nodded. “I know. And we do” She rolled her eyes. “Rey, I just found out that you _really really_ like me” it irritated her how he used her words so teasingly but she couldn’t find it in herself to be angry. “How am I supposed to just go to sleep and pretend it didn’t happen?”

“That’s what I was going to do!”

“Yes but we both know you’re ridiculous” he shrugged. “And also, that’s hurtful. You were going to pretend it didn’t happen? Really?”

She sighed. Who’d known that Ben Solo could be quite so annoying yet charming at the same time?

“I think I’m starting to change my mind about you…” she huffed and walked past him towards the fresher. 

“What are you doing?”

“Going to get changed”

“I suppose I’m not allowed to join you?”

“No!” she practically squealed, her face flushed red as she slammed the fresher door behind her.

Once the door was closed, she let out a heavy sigh and looked up at herself in the mirror. She was bright red and she hated him for making her blush like this. 

It wouldn’t have been so bad though, would it? Taking her clothes off in front of him. Letting him take her clothes off for her.

“No” she whispered with a shake of her head and splashed some water on her face. “You can’t think like that”

Rey took a deep breath and readied herself for bed, washing her face and unfastening her buns, letting her hair fall down her shoulders.

She changed into some comfier clothes preparing to face him. 

When she walked out of the fresher he was lounged across her bed, his legs looking too damn long for it, and arm folded behind his head as he held her datapad in front of him. 

“Just make yourself at home, why don’t you?” 

She rolled her eyes and climbed into bed too. 

“What are you doing with that?” she asked as he continued to look through her datapad. 

“Seeing if you have any interesting holomovies on here” he teased and she rolled her eyes. 

“It’s just books” she replied, reaching out for the datapad but he lifted it out of her reach.

“Books, huh?” 

She sighed, “Ben…”

“What kind of books?”

“I don’t know, all sorts” she shrugged. “Leia, your Mother, said books were the birthplace of knowledge”

“Hmm. Sounds like her” he agreed and placed the datapad down on the bedside table and finally turning to her. 

Rey hated how much she had been waiting for that. 

“So...you should probably leave?”

Ben raised an eyebrow and sat back against her pillows as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

Perhaps it was. 

“I only just got here”

“Kriff, I knew I should have put those cuffs back on you” 

Ben laughed softly, his arm sliding around her shoulders and tugging her to him. She lay back against his chest without complaint. 

“You’d have found your way to me if I hadn’t come first” he shrugged.

She didn’t respond because she knew it was true. 

Rey stayed silent for a few more moments as she just enjoyed this feeling. Ben’s arm draped around her shoulders felt right, and the way his thumb brushed against the skin of her arm sent shivers through her body. 

“You know I have no idea how to do any of this…” she said nervously, biting her lip.

“Any of what?”

“This” she gestured between the two of them.

“Neither do I but it seems to be going okay” he shrugged.

“Yeah” her voice was barely even a whisper. 

The lay silently for a while, just enjoying one another’s company and not really needing to speak. They could feel each other’s happiness through their bond. 

The way that Ben’s fingers were tracing soft patterns down her arm felt so nice. 

To be honest she wasn’t sure she believed it when he said he’d never been with a girl before, he was way too good at holding her and kissing her to be so inexperienced. But she found she didn’t even care if it was a lie.

_It’s not a lie._

“Stop reading my thoughts” she huffed.

“Then stop doubting me”

Rey rolled her eyes. 

“I was thinking tomorrow…”

“Yeah?”

“We could train together”

“Train for what?” he asked as he stifled a yawn.

“To fight…”

“Fight what?”

“I don’t know” she sighed and sat up in his arms. “Do you not want to?” she asked, eyes searching his face.

“Of course I want to. I just don’t want you to do something just for me”

“It wouldn’t be just for you. I enjoy training”

Ben nodded, tugged her back to his chest once again.

“You won’t beat me”

“Hmm, I can try” he promised. 

“I know your weakness”

“Oh yeah?”

Rey nodded, a small smile on her face as she turned in his arms and pressed her lips to his. 

Kissing him was addictive. It was quite possibly her weakness, not just his.

Her hand slid up his chest as she reached up to cup his cheek, pulling him down to her as she explored his mouth.

Ben groaned against her lips and she kissed him deeper.

When they broke apart there was a happy smile on her face and she lay back on the bed, reaching for Ben’s hand and pulling her with her. 

She noticed how careful he was as he moved over, making sure not to crush her beneath his body - not that she would really have minded.

Ben leant down, his lips brushing hers as her hands went to his waist, slipping under his shirt. 

Rey was smiling up at him and it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. She reached up and took his face in her hands, pressing the sweetest of kisses to his lips. 

As they broke apart they were both grinning at one another once more, and Ben’s heart was pounding in his chest. Rey leaned up and kissed him again, and again until it turned into something more. 

Their lips moved in sync as if they were made to be together, their kisses became slower but more passionate as they explored one another. 

“You should take this off” she grumbled, in the few seconds of breath he gave her before his lips were on hers once more. 

Instead he focused on exploring her mouth, as her legs tightened around his waist to hold him closer to her. 

“Rey…” he groaned softly and she took the opportunity to tug on his shirt once more.

“Take it off”

“Rey”

“Don’t argue with me, Ben. You won’t win” she brushed her lips to his jaw and lifted it over his head. “Don’t leave it in my room” she teased before her lips were kissing each the freckles across his shoulders. 

Feeling his skin against hers completely ignited the fire in her belly and she grabbed his hand, sliding it under her own shirt. 

His rough fingers felt amazing against the sensitive skin of her stomach.

“You don’t have to worry. You can take anything you want from me” she whispered. Rey was no longer afraid. She knew everything she had been through her whole life was to lead her to this, to Ben. She was no longer afraid to admit she was completely his. 

“Rey…”

She smiled and used her strength to roll them over, wanting to take control.

Her heart leaped at the happiness on his face as his head hit the mattress below them. 

“I love your smile”

Ben’s breath caught and Rey felt her race redden but she didn’t care, she really did love the way he smiled. 

“It’s the most Ben thing” she shrugged. Kylo Ren had never smiled. “Now are you going to take this off, or do I have to?” She raised an eyebrow and started unfastening her own shirt.

His eyes widened and she kissed him gently, but he didn’t need to be told again. His fingers slipped beneath the shirt as he pulled it over her head, leaving her in just the bindings she wore across her breasts. 

_You’re beautiful_

His thoughts brushed against her mind and her heart skipped a beat. 

Ben sat up, that intense stare of his was causing her mind to spiral. She couldn’t think straight when he looked at her that way. She leant down to kiss him once more but he reached her first, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of her neck.

“Ben…” she groaned softly, her fingers tangling in his hair as his lips travelled lower, leaving soft kisses against her chest, his fingers grazing her bindings before she felt his lips on her stomach. 

It felt amazing to be touched by him. 

She could hardly believe how gentle he was. 

But she wasn’t sure she wanted gentle right now.  
Needing to feel more of him, Rey moved her hands to his shoulders and pushed him back down, her body pressing against his. Her eyes widened somewhat as she felt the hardness straining against his pants and pressing against her.

“Sorry” he muttered, lifting his head to look at her.

“No it’s - it’s okay” she bit her lip, eyes searching his. “It’s okay” she tried to assure them both before she sat up and reached for his belt. 

She had told him he could have anything after all. 

“Rey…” his hand covered hers. 

“No, Ben, it’s okay…” she insisted.

“No it isn’t, not here” he tangled his fingers with hers and moved her hand from his belt. 

Their eyes met and she felt terrible for not giving him what he wanted. Or maybe he didn’t want it.

 _I do_ she felt his answer in her head. 

“But not here, Rey. Not like this” he whispered. 

She stared down at him her breathing heavy. 

“I want us to actually be together. Properly.” he explained. “Not just connected through the bond” Any doubts she had had about his intentions vanished and she smiled through the relief. He was sweet.

“And I’d prefer not worrying about your Resistance friends walking in on us” he added softly, causing a soft laugh from her.

“I feel like I ought to be annoyed at you for ruining the mood” she smiled and brushed her lips to his jaw. “But you’re actually really sweet”

Ben smiled and her heart swelled. 

“We should sleep”

She nodded reluctantly and sat up, reaching for her shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“No way am I letting them walk in on this” she rolled her eyes and pulled the shirt back over her chest. 

“Do I not get mine back?”

“No” 

Ben rolled his eyes and lay back against her pillows, his arm stretching out as he waited for her to lay against his side so that he could wrap her in his arm and hold her close.

“Is uh - is that going to be alright…” she nodded nervously towards his pants. 

“Just don’t move suddenly” he said with a soft groan. 

“Sorry…”

“Don’t be” he whispered. 

“You know that I would, right?” 

Ben nodded, “I know, but you deserve for it to be perfect”

Rey smiled as she pressed her lips to his chest and closed her eyes. “It terrifies me how easily I lose control around you” she admitted in a whisper.

“Hmm, I like it”

“You would” she grumbled but fell asleep with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me...


	15. Chapter 15

When Rey woke the next morning it was to the warmth of Ben’s embrace. 

“You snore like a Wookie” 

A stupidly happy smile crossed her lips at his words and she allowed herself to snuggle further into his arms. 

“Sleep with a lot of Wookies do you?”

She felt his smile against her shoulder and it made her stomach flip. 

She loved when he smiled. 

“Chewbacca’s embrace _is_ rather comforting” he replied with a simple shrug. 

“Hmm” Rey smiled and turned her head just enough that she could press a kiss to the bicep of the arm that was wrapped around her. “I’m sure Uncle Chewie rocked Baby Ben to sleep on many occasions,” she teased, and she could practically hear the roll of his eyes. 

“Stop it”

“Or else what?”

Ben’s arm loosened around her and the next thing she knew she was pinned beneath him.

“Is this supposed to scare me?” she asked, eyebrows raised. 

“Yeah, that was kinda the idea” he shrugged, humour lighting up his eyes. 

“It’s not really working for you…”

“Hmm. That could be a problem”

Rey shook her head, “No” she said softly, her voice barely even a whisper. “I don’t think it will…”

Her eyes fell closed as she leant up and brushed her lips to his, her heart skipping a beat or two at the way his lips slowly moved against hers, as she allowed herself to savour this feeling. 

When they finally broke apart Ben let out a contented sigh and rolled off of her, onto his back. 

“This is nice” Rey whispered, turning on her side to lay her head on his chest. 

“Yeah” 

Rey really loved the feel of his skin beneath hers, probably something to do with going so many years without any physical contact from another. 

She shifted slightly and lifted her hand, placing it over his heart. It soothed her to feel the steady beat beneath her fingers. 

“We could stay-”

“I’m starving”

“-here all day…”

“Oh” 

Ben laughed, looking down at her amusedly. 

“Are you ever _not_ thinking about food?” he asked and Rey smiled, lips brushing his chest. 

“I was thinking about something else, for _most_ of last night” she teased. “And so were you” she added, as if he needed to be reminded. 

Ben smiled softly and stay quiet, just allowing himself a few more moments like this before they had to get up for their day.

“But I mean...if you wanted we could stay here. I don’t need to eat, I-”

“Rey” he raised his eyebrow as he glanced down at her. “There is no way I’ll hear the end of it if I don’t let you go eat”

“Yeah that’s true” her smile was so bright.

“Okay come on” Ben sighed dramatically and sat up, forcing a reluctant Rey to do the same. 

“I’ll take a shower and then meet you in the canteen in about twenty minutes?” 

Rey watched him with a _seriously_ expression.

“Okay fine, fifteen minutes” he rolled his eyes but she nodded, leaned up to kiss him once more and got out of bed. 

“Don’t be late” she warned him, flashing a grin before disappearing behind the door of her own fresher, leaving Ben to find himself in his own empty bed as the connection closed. 

\---

He wasn’t late, two minutes early in fact, yet Rey was nowhere to be seen. With a deep breath he walked into the canteen and found her already sat talking with the woman she had introduced yesterday, Rose he thought she had been called.

“Ben” Rey smiled when she saw him and he gravitated towards her. 

_Sorry, couldn’t wait, I was starving_ he felt her apology in his head. 

Ben rolled his eyes but he didn’t really mind, not when she looked so happy. 

Once he had grabbed his own food he took the space on the bench beside Rey. This whole experience was a strange one and it was really hard to block out the stares and mumbling that his appearance had led to. 

“So, Ben…” Rose was nervous, he could sense it, but he lifted his head to give her his attention - he was trying his best here. “How was last night? Did you sleep well? I hope you like your new quarters...”

Rey almost choked on whatever she was eating and Ben swallowed nervously before nodding.

“Much better, yeah” 

He tried his best to ignore Rey as she quickly took a swig of water, hoping Rose hadn’t realised just why he had slept so well.

The rest of breakfast passed by quite uneventfully and Rey was relieved at how civil Finn, Poe and Ben had been with one another. 

She knew her friends didn’t trust Ben completely, and he felt the same, but at least they were trying. 

\---

“I have something to show you” Rey said as they walked out of the canteen, and Ben raised an eyebrow in response.

“Get your head out of the garbage chute” she scoffed and shoved him playfully, leading him outside into their forest surroundings. 

“You know, I never had any idea there was so much green in the world” Rey smiled as she led him through the trees, her hand gently caressing the leaves as they walked. 

“Surely you must have known that not everywhere was like Jakku?”

She shrugged sadly, “Jakku was all I knew. Everything else was a story on a scavenged datapad” she explained. 

Ben’s heart ached for her. He had had a good upbringing, he had travelled the Galaxy, met all sorts of people and had everything he could have wanted. 

Rey had had nothing. 

“You know -” she began as she climbed over a fallen tree trunk and led him deeper into the forest. “The first datapad I found, it was inside the wreckage of an old Star Destroyer -” she clambered over another trunk. “I must have been...maybe 11? It was a little bit beaten up but worked perfectly. Would have earnt me about a month’s worth of portions, maybe more with everything that was on it -” she hopped down a small ridge and Ben followed. “I couldn’t face trading it in” she admitted with the smallest of smiles. “It was fascinating to learn about world’s beyond Jakku. But I don’t think I ever really believed they existed, not until I landed on Takodana 2 years ago.

Ben’s heart ached. He knew she was telling a happy story, but it killed him to realise just how alone Rey had been her whole life. How at 11 years old she was risking her life scavenging inside an old Star Destroyer just so that she could eat.

“You know you have all the time in the world now…” he said softly, reaching out for her hand. “We could explore the entire Galaxy” he offered. 

Rey smiled softly, “You offered me the Galaxy once before” she said quietly, stepping closer to him. “I didn’t want it then, not like that” Rey squeezed his hand. “But _exploring_ the Galaxy? That sounds pretty good” she smiled brightly and he would have kissed her if she hadn’t let go of his hand and leaped across a verge. 

“Come on, Solo. We’re nearly there” she smiled and sped off, leaving him to clear his mind before following her into a clearing.

“What is this?” Ben asked as he looked around.

“Training circuit” she said proudly. “Leia created it”

Ben’s eyes widened and he looked over at Rey for an explanation. “After we lost Luke, Leia - she decided to train me” she explained. “Had all this put together to try and help me focus” 

“My Mother -” he began softly as he turned in a circle, taking it all in. “She trained you?”

Rey nodded. 

“How did she train you? My Mother, she never -”

“Leia trained to become a Jedi, Ben. Did you not know?”

He frowned, eyes fixed on Rey’s as he tried to figure out if she were telling the truth. 

“She never told me”

Rey smiled sadly and crossed the distance between them, reaching out for him. 

“I think she was scared. Luke told me that she had a vision,” Rey began to explain, “That if she completed her training, her son would die…”

Ben remained silent and Rey could feel his pain. The pain of losing his Mother, of not knowing this secret and the pain of knowing his Mother had given up the Jedi path to protect him. 

_She gave everything for me, and I betrayed her._

Rey’s heart broke as she felt Ben’s thoughts and she took a step closer, her hand reaching to cup his cheek, forcing him to look at her. 

“Ben…”

She knew that Ben’s biggest regret was not telling Leia how much he loved her and how sorry he was. 

Rey pulled him into her arms and held him tightly. 

“She’d be so proud of you,” she whispered as she cradled his head against her chest. “I know you don’t think so, but I knew her and she would. She always talked about her love for you”

They remained like this for a little longer, Rey just holding Ben in her arms, knowing he needed to feel this pain so that he could start to move on.

“Come on” she finally said, her voice soft as she untangled her arms from him. “If you beat me then I’ll let you get a look at the lightsaber Leia crafted…”

That sparked his interest and she saw Ben’s eyes light up with wonder at the thought of his Mother creating her own saber. 

Rey smiled and took the lightsaber that had once belonged to Ben’s Grandfather from her satchel. She held it out to Ben and as he was about to take it she turned and threw it back in the direction they had come from, an amused smile stretching across her lips. 

“See you at the end of the circuit” she quipped before taking hold of Leia’s saber and racing off. 

“Scavenger” he muttered under his breath and reached out his hand, channelling the Force to throw her off her path. He didn’t wait to watch Rey fall and instead called Anakin’s saber to him as he took off after her. 

Rey might have been faster than him, but Ben knew all the dirty tricks in the book, and at every opportunity he used the Force to block her path, or push her from the tree trunk she was scaling. 

Ben had no real idea what to expect from this training course but the marksman remotes had not even crossed his mind until he got a blaster bolt to the shoulder. 

“Son of a -”

He felt Rey’s amusement rather than heard it and immediately ignited the saber in his hand, deflecting the rest of the bolts that came at him, before hurtling the remote into her path. 

He saw her eyes widen as she realised what he was doing and the blue of her own saber illuminated her face as she took the remote out with ease. 

She was good. 

Ben kept up his pace, jumping across a verge with what he thought was ease, but as he landed with a forward roll he realised Rey had landed on her feet and was now ahead of him. 

He grunted in frustration, pushed himself to his feet, racing after her.

The end was in sight and so Ben put everything into speeding up and then he leaped, intending to cross the finish line before her but Rey wasn’t stupiud, she knew exactly what he was trying.

Without warning blue erupted from the saber in Rey’s hand as she attempted to stop him. Ben ignited his own and the two blades clashed together mid-leap and the pair of them came tumbling down past the finish line together. 

As he hit the dirt the saber fizzled out and he lifted his head to see that she was laying in the dirt too, just a few feet away. 

“You cheated” he scoffed as he lay back in the mud, his chest rising and falling heavily. He was exhausted. 

“No. You’re the cheat”

Ben laughed softly and lay still, giving himself the chance to regain his breath.

“So” he began as he sat up, knees raised to his chest. “Let me have a look…”

“I’m pretty sure I said if you beat me…” she replied, pushing herself off the ground and dusting off her clothes

Ben tilted his head, “Yeah...and I did”

Rey laughed and attached the lightsaber to her belt as she stepped closer to him, reaching out her hand to help him up. 

“No, I don’t think you did” she teased as he gripped her arm and she helped him to his feet. 

“There’s no shame in defeat, Rey” he responded, his lips inches from her ear as he leant down to speak. The silky tone of his whisper sent shivers down her spine and she was already wondering how likely it was that anyone would stumble across them if she were to have her way with him right here in the forest. 

Only her thoughts were put on hold at the sound of the lightsaber being unfastened from her belt and he stepped away triumphantly. 

“Ben!” he laughed heartily and turned away as he began to examine what his Mother had crafted. 

Her annoyance at his trickery soon evaporated as she saw the look of wonderment in his eyes. 

“Beautiful isn’t it?” she asked as she came to stand beside him where he had the hilt held out in front of him, his eyes running over it.

Ben nodded but he didn’t speak. Rey could tell he was overcome with emotion. 

“You can have it if you’d like…”

Ben lifted his eyes and turned to her. 

“Why did Luke give it to you?”

That seemed a strange question to Rey but she gave him the truth, “He told me he’d kept it safe, Leia had known that one day another might need to wield it and complete her Jedi journey” she explained. “Luke told me to take both sabers to Exegol. I think maybe he knew that his nephew would be there”

Ben smiled softly and placed the saber back in her hand, turning away and looking out into the rest of the forest.

“What happened to yours anyway?”

“Tossed it into the seas of Kef Bir”

“Oh” Rey hadn’t expected that. “Why?”

“Let the past die...” he whispered. “That weapon had a darkness of it’s own, I couldn’t be Ben _and_ wield that”

“Oh so you thought you’d stop Palpatine with just a blaster?” she teased, folding her arms across her chest. 

“Worked for my Dad” he shrugged and turned to her with a sad smile. 

Rey’s heart fluttered, “He was your hero, wasn’t he?”

Ben laughed humorlessly, “I was just a kid. I knew nothing of war, but I constantly heard stories of how my Father was the best pilot in the Rebellion, a war hero who took on the might of the Empire with just his blaster and his arrogance”

“You wanted to be just like him…”

“I wanted to be _something_ ” Ben sighed, “That day on the Starkiller Base...he knew that he was going to die. He knew what I planned to do. Yet he still helped me, he let me kill him when he could have run away and left me behind. He knew the choice I had to make, and the torment that raged inside me. And in that moment, he chose to sacrifice himself so that eventually I would see that nothing would stop me from feeling that pull to the light” Ben bit back a sob at the memory of Han’s eyes as the saber ignited. “He was the strongest man I’ve ever known”

Rey reached for him then, her arm sliding around his. 

“He loved you so much, Ben. They both did” she pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “You can repay that faith by fighting for their cause” she whispered. “Fight with us, Ben. Help us to finally end the First Order”

“I don’t know where they are”

“That doesn’t matter. We can figure it out” she insisted and when he glanced down at her she looked up to meet his eyes. “Together”

Ben nodded, “I’ll do whatever you ask of me. You know I will”

Rey smiled and let go of him, but only long enough for her to turn to him and capture his lips in hers. It felt good. It always felt good. 

Her hands moved to his chest as she leant up and deepened their kiss.

“Oh my!”

Rey’s heart stopped at the sound of C3PO’s voice, soon followed by the excited whirs of R2.

Immediately she let go of Ben and put some distance between them, turning to the droids.

“I’m terribly sorry Master Rey” 3PO continued, “But The Generals are asking for your presence in the command center”

Rey nodded, “Okay. Thanks 3PO…I’ll be right there” Her face was bright red and she really hoped droids couldn’t recognise a human’s embarrassment. 

“Come on R2, I think we’re interrupting something” spoke the golden droid, placing his hand on his old friend as he began to shuffle away. 

“I can’t believe that old hunk of junk hasn’t been scrapped for parts”

Ben’s voice broke Rey out of her thoughts. 

“Ben, 3PO can be a little dramatic…” she looked up at the man beside her, worry in her eyes, “And he’s useless at keeping a secret, you don’t think he’d…?”

“I’ll deal with him. I’ll see you at dinner time?”

Rey nodded and watched as Ben jogged off after the droids, leaving her to worry about what might happen if C3PO told the others that she was alone in the forest kissing Ben instead of convincing him to join the Resistance?

“3PO wait up!”

“Hurry R2, its Kylo Ren!”

The whirring of the smaller droid caused the cyborg to stop. 

“What do you mean it’s Master Ben?”

Rey sighed softly, watching as the man she couldn’t get out of her mind disappeared through the trees, and turned to make her way back towards the command center.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a massive fan of this chapter really, but hopefully it turned out okay. 
> 
> Happy Christmas, I hope you're all having a great day! Thank you all for reading and leaving comments and kudos, it's much appreciated <3

After proving to C3PO that he was in fact the son of General Organa - which, by the way, was easier said than done - and that there was no need to tell The Generals’ what he had seen in the forest, Ben had returned to his quarters desperate for a shower. 

Training had been surprisingly exhausting, but it had been fun. Which was mostly down to the smile on Rey’s face. He loved how happy she had looked as she tried to best him throughout the circuit. In fact, he had _felt_ her happiness through their bond. 

Ben took his time in the shower, knowing he had very little to do until Rey returned from her meeting with Poe and Finn. 

He wondered what had been so important that they interrupt training to speak to her. 

Ben had tried to reach out to her through the bond but she was blocking him. 

_We’ll speak later_ was all he got out of her, and he was pretty sure that later would be _much_ later. 

When he finished his shower he stepped back out into the bedroom in just his pants. Rey had kept her promise, he noticed, and had asked for more clothes to be provided for him. 

Ben pulled on his boots and rifled through the shirts, eventually pulling out a sleeveless black top. This would be comfortable at least whilst he waited for Rey to return.

Within seconds of him pulling the top over his head the whole base reverberated and he felt a flash of panic that wasn’t his own.

“Rey…”

Ben rushed to the door, his hand hammering the keypad to get it to open and then he was racing down the corridor towards the command center. 

The closer he got, the louder the sound of blaster fire was and his panic rose.

What was happening? Was she okay?

As Ben raced down the corridor he saw bodies sprawled across the floor. Bodies bearing the symbol of the Resistance. He threw out a hand and called a discarded blaster into his grasp as he skidded around a corner and into the battle.

“Rose?”

The young Resistance Commander was cornered, crouched behind some of the supply crates with two other Resistance fighters. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, panic lacing his voice as he took cover beside them. 

He could tell the two others were wary of his presence, but Rose seemed relieved. 

“They granted clearance to a refugee freighter to land” she explained. “It looks as though it were full of First Order soldiers. They’ve bombed the command center”

Fear flashed through Ben’s eyes, that’s where Rey was. 

“They’ll try to deactivate the shields so that their other ships can land” It was a classic technique. “We need to get there before them”

“There’s no way we can make it through” Rose shook her head, “The Base is in lockdown, all the blast doors are shut. There’s only us and this is the only way through to the command center. There’s too many of them”

Ben’s eyes darted between the three Resistance fighters, his mind racing, before settling back on Rose. “Could you make sure the shields stay up and get those blast doors open from outside the command center?”

Rose nodded. 

“But we don’t have time, once they get through to the command center it won’t take them long to disable the shields”

“I’ll buy you time”

Rose stared at him, could she trust this man? As she looked at him though she saw the eyes of Leia staring back at her. This was Leia’s son and Rey vouched for him. She had to trust him.

“I’ll draw their fire, you go as soon as they see me”

Rose nodded and Ben took a deep breath, getting to his feet and running towards their attackers, firing the blaster at every movement. It was effective but he missed the comfort of his lightsaber. It had been a long time since he had fought with a blaster. 

As soon as he sensed Rose and her companions were safe he took off towards the command center, dodging blaster bolts the best he could. 

\---

The explosion had come out of nowhere. 

One minute Rey had been stood talking with Poe and Finn and the next the command center was blown apart. 

When she came to her head was spinning and she could feel blood trickling down her face.

The blast doors of the command center had been automatically triggered to come down and seal them in when the explosion had rocked the facility. At least that meant no one could get to them, yet. 

“Finn…” Rey rushed to her best friend’s side, brushing aside the rubble and debris that had fallen around him.

“I’m okay, I’m okay” he muttered as he sat up and they both looked for Poe. 

“Finn get over here”

Poe was already up and checking out the camera screens. 

“Oh dammit, we’ve got company” Finn reached for the blaster at his side. 

“I don’t like these odds…” Poe shook his head and Rey looked over his shoulder at the camera screens to see at least 20 enemies approaching.

“What’s that…” she pointed to the screen.

“Some kind of battering ram cannon…”

“Oh this is _not_ good” Finn exclaimed. “Now would be a great time for a plan?

“Ben…”

Finn frowned and looked over at his best friend, who was standing in the middle of the room with her eyes shut. 

\---

“Okay this is _not_ good” Ben muttered to himself as he rounded the corner and saw around 20 First Order soldiers and their battering ram cannon. 

But Rey was on the other side of that blast door, he had to do something. 

He took a deep breath and peered around the wall and started firing at the attackers. 

He managed to take out two, three of them before his blaster jammed, the energy pack likely depleted. The pause in his firing earnt him a shot to the shoulder and he dived for the cover behind the closest wall. 

“Kriff…” he grumbled, clenching his teeth at the feel of the wound burning through his skin. He really should have been wearing a jacket.

His breathing was heavy as he thought over his options. There was a lot of them. And only one of him. Plus he now had no blaster.

He needed his lightsaber, he needed -

“Ben”

Her voice broke through his mind and he stilled. 

When he peered around the wall again she was there, as clear as day with his Grandfather’s lightsaber in her hand. 

Everything seemed to turn to slow motion as he glanced over her shoulder, saw the First Order preparing to fire and turned his gaze back to Rey’s. He gave her the slightest of nods and she threw the lightsaber in his direction, through their bond.

Ben reached out and caught it in one hand, tightening his hold around the familiar hilt as the blue light erupted, allowing him to deflect the oncoming blasts.

This was more like it. 

With the more familiar weapon, and the power of the Force, Ben was able to make light work of their attackers and rushed to the blast door between him and Rey. 

“Rey…”

\---

“Ben…” 

Rey ran straight to the blast door, severing the connection as soon as she had seen Ben drive the lightsaber through their last attacker. 

Poe and Finn were glued to the spot, staring between her and the camera screens which showed Ben outside. 

“Can someone tell me what just happened??”

“The bond…” Poe breathed a sigh of relief, “It _is_ real…”

He clapped Finn on the back and rushed to Rey’s side.

“Ren…” Rey glared at Poe who raised his hands apologetically. “Solo...can you hear us?”

“Where’s Rey? Rey, are you alright?”

Rey’s heart leaped at the concern in his tone even as her face reddened. 

“Ben, this is Poe” the older man sounded urgent. “We can’t open this door from inside, we’re on lockdown, you have to get to the -”

Poe fell silent as a circle of orange suddenly appeared on the blast door. 

“Please tell me he’s not using that cannon...he’ll kill us all!”

“He’s using the lightsaber…” Both Rey and Finn said at the same time. 

Rey grabbed the second saber from her side and moved to stand in front of the blast door. She closed her eyes and let herself connect with Ben once more before igniting her saber too. 

Between the two of them it didn’t take too long to pierce a hole in the door that was big enough for them to get through. 

The second they were reunited Rey moved to embrace Ben but was interrupted by the urgency in Poe’s voice. “We need to get to the others”

“All the blast doors are in lockdown, Rose is trying to override them” Ben explained, lifting his eyes to meet Poe’s. “They’ve been trying to take the shields down, which means -”

“-means there’s more ships waiting” Poe finished Ben’s sentence with a nod. 

“Finn, you find Rose. Get those doors open, make sure everyone’s okay” 

“What about you?” Finn responded.

“I’m going to do what I do best and jump into an X-wing and blow something up” he replied simply. “And Finn, when you get those doors open, send some more pilots my way” 

Finn nodded and squeezed his friend’s shoulder.

“I’ll go with you, you’re going to need another pilot” Rey said and Poe nodded. “Ben, go with Finn. Keep them safe” she begged.

Ben’s gaze locked with hers and their eyes said more than their words ever could.

He nodded, tossed a blaster to Finn and the two men sped off back down the corridor.

“Alright, let’s do this” Poe and Rey raced off in the opposite direction.

\---

The hanger door was still open and Poe and Rey were immediately able to jump into their X-wing’s. 

“Okay we need to be careful up there, we’ve no idea what’s waiting for us” she heard Poe’s voice through the comms.

“We stick together, take out what we can but don’t do anything stupid” she responded.

“Copy that, Red 5” she could hear the smile in Poe’s voice as they both took flight. 

Orbiting the planet was another small freighter and a number of TIE Fighters. 

“Take out the fighters, then we circle back for the freighter”

Rey nodded, and got to work. 

\---

It felt so unnatural for Ben to be running in the opposite direction to Rey, but she has trusted him to keep her friends safe and he wouldn’t let her down.

He followed Finn through the winding corridors as they rushed towards Rose. 

As they rounded a corner the sound of blaster fire filled their ears. One of the Resistance fighters that had been with Rose earlier was now lifeless on the floor, Rose and the other man taking cover behind an X-wing, whilst other Resistance fighters were taking cover behind various ships and supply crates.

“Rose!”

Did this guy always have to shout at the top of his lungs and alert the enemy? Ben ignited the lightsaber just in time for the onslaught of blaster bolts sent their way. 

The battle was over quickly, with Ben able to deflect the bolts the Resistance fighters were able to capitalise and take down their enemies effectively.

“Rose are you alright?”

The moment the battle was done Finn rushed to the woman and pulled her into his arms.

Ben looked around, on edge, ready for the next attack.

“You need to get some ships to Rey and Poe”

He could feel Rey. She was outnumbered.

Finn nodded and turned to the band of Resistance fighters. “Pilots, into the skies. Poe needs you” A handful of the men and women rushed to the nearby ships. 

“Rose, get comms up and find out from Poe what we’re facing”

Rose nodded and Finn turned to Ben. 

“She’ll be okay…”

Ben nodded and took a deep breath.

“Where do you need me?” he asked

Finn looked taken aback at Ben’s willingness to help. “Right, yeah...take the rest of these men, circle back to the command center, see if anyone needs help?”

Ben nodded and turned to the group of Resistance fighters. They looked at him hesitantly, he supposed he couldn’t really blame them, but then followed as he took off back towards the command center. 

\---

“About time! Where’ve you guys been?” 

Poe’s voice sounded over Rey’s comms and she was confused for a moment before she noticed the rest of their fleet join the battle. 

“Alright, Blue Leader. Take your squadron and take down those fighters”

“Copy that Black Leader”

“Everyone else, you’re with me, let’s stop that freighter”

Now that the numbers were on their side, the Resistance made short work of the enemy ships, taking them and the freighter out quickly. 

When they landed Finn and Rose were waiting. 

“Rose, you’re okay…” Rey smiled brightly as she ran to her friend and hugged her tightly. 

“Thanks to Ben…” Rey froze and pulled back from the hug to look at her friend’s face. “He saved us, Rey” Rose smiled. “You’re right, he is a good man”

Rey smiled brightly at those words and then she felt their bond burst back to life. Turning her head she saw Ben walking towards her, followed by a crowd of Resistance fighters, and it took everything in her not to run to him. 

\---

After a gathering in the remains of the command center, the Resistance leaders had opted to start scouting out new locations for a base. Whilst they felt quite confident that they will still safe here thanks to their shields, the planet had been compromised and they had to expect that further attacks would come. 

A few injured First Order soldiers had been taken prisoner and Poe was hoping that they could get the location of the remaining First Order loyalists from them in the meantime.

Ben had been a part of the meeting with the leaders, quietly standing by Rey’s side. He hadn’t felt that he could speak for any of them, but Poe and Finn had recognised how he had helped them today and hadn’t asked him to leave the gathering.

It was progress, Rey thought. 

The Resistance leaders started to disperse and Poe turned his attention to Ben.

“Thank you, for today…” Poe was obviously struggling a little with having to thank the man who had once been his enemy. “We might not have won without you”

Ben nodded, “I only did what was right”

Poe smiled and clapped a hand to Ben’s shoulder. 

“People are alive because of you,” he added before turning to Finn. “We should check in on the medical bay, make sure they have everything they need”

Finn turned to leave but looked back at Ben and Rey. He hesitated before giving the other man a small nod and followed Poe out of the room. 

Rey let out a breath and turned to Ben. “Come on, let’s go get cleaned up,” she smiled and led him back to his quarters. 

Once they stepped inside she pushed Ben towards the bed.

“Sit down” she commanded, causing him to raise his eyebrows. “You’re hurt” she explained as she fell to her knees in front of him.

“I’m fine, just a scratch” he insist, intense eyes fixed on her as she reached out to gently touch his shoulder where the blaster bolt had caught him.

“Ben...it looks painful. Maybe you should go to the medical bay?”

“Rey, it’s fine” he insisted and she sighed, lifting her eyes to meet his.

“Stay here”

Ben sighed but did as he was told, watching silently as she disappeared into the fresher, and returned a few moments later with some bacta patches. 

“Take off your shirt” she instructed though didn’t give him the chance as she was already reaching out and carefully peeling to top from his body. 

Rey sucked in a breath when she saw the full extent of the wound and gently applied one of the larger bacta patches. She felt him flinch slightly as she pressed down to make it stick to his skin, “Sorry…” 

“It’s fine”

When it was done she stood up only for him to reach out and take her hand in his. 

“Let me look at your face…”

Rey frowned slightly confused but didn’t resist when he pulled her gently into his lap. 

His hand reached up and Rey’s eyes fell closed as she felt his fingers against her skin. 

“Does it hurt?”

“What…oh, the wound” she had forgotten it was there. “No, it’s fine” 

Ben nodded, his eyes searching hers. She was completely captivated by the way that this man looked at her. 

“Thank you, for today…” she whispered. “For helping my friends, it means a lot”

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe”

Rey smiled, her fingers grazing his jaw as she leaned in and brushed her lips to his, savouring the feel. 

Ben hesitated before kissing her back. There was no urgency in it this time and they both seemed quite happy to take things slowly, kissing each other tenderly.

When they finally broke apart Rey’s forehead fell against his. “I’m going to shower, take all the grime of that explosion off of me”

Ben nodded and reluctantly released her. 

He was about to ask whether he would see her later, through the bond, when he noticed that she was heading for the shower in his room. 

“I won’t be long” she promised, closing the door behind her.

Ben let out a heavy sigh, laying back on the bed. 

They had just been in a battle, but Rey was now showering in the next room from him, and it was all he could think about. He was going to hell. 

By the time the shower shut off and Rey stepped out, Ben was lying on the bed with his eyes closed. 

The sound of the door sliding open, coupled with the pang of nervousness that he felt through the bond made him open his eyes and lift his head. 

His breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. 

The blood and grime had been washed clean from her face, her damp hair thrown up messily and she was wearing just a shirt. One of his shirts which was way too big for her but which, most importantly, only barely covered her thighs. 

“Sorry, I didn’t really think this through…” she admit awkwardly, eyes avoiding his.

“No, it’s fine” he sat up. “Do you want me to go and get you some of your clothes?” he asked.

Rey shook her head, she could feel through their bond the attraction that Ben felt when he looked at her, and it made her feel more confident. 

“Thank you, Ben,” she whispered, moving to his lap and bringing his lips to hers. “My friends are safe because of you. I’m safe because of you”

“I’m pretty sure you would have held your own without me” he pointed out.

Rey shrugged, hands sliding to the sides of his face as she claimed his lips once again. The intensity of his gaze was lighting that fire in her belly, she couldn’t believe someone was genuinely looking at her like that. 

“It means a lot that you came back for me,” she told him honestly, her tone giving away her emotions and Ben knew it was because Rey’s biggest worry her whole life had been that no one would ever come back for her. 

“I’ll never leave you” he promised. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep”

“Who says I can’t keep it?”

“Me”

“Then I’m sorry, but you’re an idiot”

She laughed at that, a bright and happy laugh which made his heart leap. 

“You looked really good in that sleeveless top, you know”

Ben laughed this time, surprised by her sudden change of subject. 

“A little ridiculous running into a battle in just that, but you looked good all the same,” she grinned and Ben rolled his eyes. “And the blaster? It was very Han Solo” she added with a wink, remembering how he had said his Father had been his hero earlier that day.

“Didn’t have time to change, or find a better weapon, my girl was in trouble”

“Your girl, huh?”

Ben’s face reddened but he didn’t care as he nodded, “Yeah”

She kissed him then and everything else was forgotten as he fell back onto the bed with Rey in his arms.

He kissed her back with everything in him, hands moving to her waist to hold her close. As his hand slid down he was reminded of just how little she was wearing and he couldn’t stifle a groan as she gently bit his lip.

“Are you sure you didn’t have some scavenger boyfriend back on Jakku? Because for someone apparently inexperienced, you seem to know exactly how to drive me crazy” he complained.

Rey laughed and rolled her eyes, “We’re connected, remember” she smiled. “I can see inside your mind, and I can give you whatever it is you desire”

“You. I desire you”

Rey’s smile was full of hope and happiness, “I know. I can feel it and I still can’t believe it” she admitted.

Ben reached out brushing aside a stray strand of hair from her face. “You’re everything to me” he whispered and she felt as though her heart was going to burst out of her chest with happiness. “You know that, don’t you?

Rey nodded against him. She couldn’t believe it, no, but yes, she _knew_ it. She felt it through their bond and she could see it in the way he looked at her. 

“I want to stay with you tonight,” she whispered softly. “Properly. Not through the bond”

“Are you sure?” He was surprised. Wasn’t she worried about her friends finding out?

“I don’t want anything to get in the way of me waking up in your arms,” she admitted, her face reddening slightly as Ben smiled proudly. “ _Don’t_ you dare tease me” she grumbled, immediately shutting him up.

Rey moved off him then and he had to hide his disappointment, though that didn’t last for long because she was soon tugging the blanket over her and laying down beside him, her head resting in his arm, her hand placed firmly against his chest. It felt nice, she thought as his arm tightened around her.

“Do you think we made the right decision in not abandoning the Base?” Rey asked after a few moments of silence. 

Ben didn’t take long to answer, “It was too small of an attack to be organised,” he explained. “If they had had bigger numbers we’d have seen it already” 

He may have denounced the First Order but he still knew how to think like them. 

“It’s likely there’s more of them out there, but I doubt that they were in comms with those that attacked today. I think it’ll be fine here for a little longer, but it’s probably still a good idea to move, just in case more of them find out about this place”

Rey nodded, feeling relieved that he was sure they’d made the right move too.

“We need to stop sitting around and waiting for them. We need to take the attack to them” she said softly after a few moments and Ben nodded. 

“What happened in the command center earlier? Why did they send 3PO to find you?”

It seemed so long ago since that had happened now. 

“Oh,” she said softly, having forgotten that’s where it started. “They’d allowed a refugee freighter to land, the Captain said they were fleeing from the First Order and they could help us to locate them,” she explained.

“And let me guess, that’s when they tried to blow the place?”

She nodded. 

“They should never have let that freighter land”

“I know”

Silence passed between them and Rey moved closer to Ben, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed to hers. 

“Ben, I want to get out of here, I want to start looking for them so that we can end this”

“You don’t know where to start”

“No. But you do”

He frowned. “Rey, I -”

“Think, Ben! You must have some ideas. You must know places we could look. People we could speak to” 

He sighed softly. “I don’t know. It could work but I can’t be sure”

“That’s better than doing nothing”

“Yeah, yeah I suppose so” 

Rey smiled softly and turned her head to press a kiss to his chest. 

“We’ll speak to Finn and Poe tomorrow?” she suggest.

“You think they’ll let us both go?”

“You’re not a prisoner anymore, Ben. And you did a lot for them today” she offered him a small smile. “And besides, I don’t think they could stop us even if they tried”

Ben smiled. She was right. There was no stopping her, that was for sure. 

As if in sync he leant down as she leant up and their lips met in a soft kiss. Neither could quite believe how far they had come over the last few months. 

“Do you know how distracting it is knowing you’re only wearing that shirt?” he grinned against her lips, he could feel the fabric of the shirt rising up as she moved to get closer to him.

“Do _you_ know how distracting it is knowing that you’re _not_ wearing a shirt?” she quipped in return. 

Sleeping tonight was going to be quite the task.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter, filler chapter this time...

The next few days passed quickly. When they weren’t helping to clear the destruction made by the attack, Rey and Ben were on the training course. _Or_ tangled up in one another. 

Every time they were alone it took all the strength that Rey possessed to keep her hands off of him. Most of the time even that wasn’t enough. 

She had never thought she would be like this. That she would feel so strongly for someone and have a constant need to touch them. 

She had longed for some kind of connection, some kind of family, her whole life. In Ben she had found all of that and more. 

She didn’t need Palpatine or dusty old books telling her that Ben Solo was the other half of her soul. No, the way her heart sped up at just the sight of him and the way he smiled just for her told her all she needed to know.

And so she thought that she could hardly be blamed for the way she acted around him.

Ben, on the other hand, played it much cooler. 

He could sit beside her during a meal and make small talk with Rose, discuss plans with Finn and Poe, get destroyed at pataak by Chewie _and_ beat her at the training circuit all without giving in to the desire to reach for her, touch her. 

It drove Rey crazy. 

\---

Their plan for Rey and Ben to start searching for the First Order was beginning to take shape. Ben had confided a number of planets and territories that the First Order had used in the past and Poe had contacted any allies they had in the area to check things out. 

But Rey was getting restless. She didn’t want to just sit and wait for the fight to come to them, she wanted to end this now. 

“Let’s take the Falcon and leave” 

Her voice caught him off guard.

“And go where?” he asked, amusement in his tone.

“Taris. Nal Hutta, Cato Neimoidia. I don’t know. Choose any of them and let’s start searching?”

Ben laughed softly, and glanced up at where she sat on his bed. 

“Rey we’ve been through this, we don’t have the resources to commit to a particular area until we’ve heard back from the scouts” she sighed dramatically and flopped back onto the bed. 

“Why are you doing that?” she asked frustratedly. 

“Because it makes sense, we can’t go wasting our time travelling to the Outer Rim if -”

“No not that. _That_ ” she pointed dramatically to Ben, who was stood neatly folding his clean clothes.

“Have you been drinking?” he asked amusedly, not really sure why she would be bothered about him folding. 

“No” she argued, pushing herself off the bed and walking over to him. “Stop it, it’s driving me insane” frustration was evident in her voice as she grabbed the shirts from his hands and threw them to the ground.

“Rey!”

“Stop Ben, just stop”

“What is wrong with you?” He turned to her then and she stared up at him. Her chest was rising and falling heavily, she was so irritated by all of this. 

“I need to leave, Ben. I’m going crazy here”

“Why? I thought you liked it here? You have your friends, you have me…”

“And I could have you out there too, Ben. But we could be making a difference, we could be ending this war”

Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“Rey, you spent your whole life waiting in one place. What’s the rush to get away now?” he asked, reaching out for her, his hands going to her shoulders. 

“That’s exactly why I need to leave! I’ve had the taste of adventure, Ben. I can’t do this anymore, I’m going crazy” she broke out of his embrace and let out a deep breath. “Please, Ben. Let’s get out of here, tell me you don’t hate it too”

“You know I don’t…”

She rolled her eyes. 

“Rey, they’ve given me a home, they’ve accepted me...do you not understand what the means to someone in my position?”

“I accepted you first, Ben!” her voice was a higher pitch than usual and tears brimmed in her eyes.

“Rey…” he reached for her but she turned away. 

“They can’t do this, Ben. You know it to be true” he sighed and stepped towards her. “It has to be us. We’re the only ones who can end this and finally bring balance”

Ben stood still, giving Rey space to calm down while he collected his thoughts. 

“Tell me about it…”

“About what?” she sounded annoyed. 

“The vision” 

Rey lifted her head and looked straight at him, questions burning in her eyes. 

“I’ve felt it in your mind. Tell me what happened…”

Rey hesitated, not really wanting to talk about it but she knew Ben and he wouldn’t let it go. 

“Finn. And Poe…” she began quietly, “They find the right planet, but we don’t. We’re at the other side of the Galaxy and it’s too late to save them” she dropped down to sit on the edge of the bed, her eyes on the ground. 

She felt the mattress sink as Ben sat down beside her. 

“I can’t lose them, Ben”

“I know” 

His arm slid around her shoulders and she leaned into him instinctively. 

“We could take the Falcon. By the time they realised could be in the Outer Rim” 

Ben sighed and they both sat in silence for a few moments.  
He was the first to speak.

“You know if you hadn’t thrown those shirts on the floor it’d be a lot quicker to pack a bag”

He stood up and Rey just stared at him confused. 

“Going to need to fold them again now,” he explained as he bent down to pick them up, glancing over at Rey with a small smile. 

Her brow was knit and she was staring at him like he’d grown an extra head.

“Meet you by the Falcon in twenty minutes?”

A wide grin spread across Rey’s face and she stood up crossing the room to him. “Fifteen” she whispered, brushing her lips to his before she cut their connection and disappeared from his room. 

He was going to regret this. But for the sight of that smile on her face, it was worth it.

\---

When he reached the hanger fifteen minutes later she was already there, smiling happily when she saw him. 

“I wasn’t sure you’d come”

“I promised you that I always will”

Rey smiled and squeezed his hand before making her way up the boarding ramp. 

Ben took a deep breath as he looked up at his Father’s ship. 

“I can do this” he whispered, letting out the breath as he followed Rey up the ramp. 

Nothing about the Falcon had changed in the years since he had last been onboard, it even smelt the same. 

And Rey, well, she looked as though she belonged in the pilot’s chair and he couldn’t help but smile at the thought. 

“So, where to first?” she asked as Ben put down his bag and took the co-pilot’s seat. 

“Nal Hutta” he replied after a few moments, glancing over at her. “If we can count out the Hutt’s - well, that significantly lowers the amount of other planets we have to scour”

Rey nodded and reached out for his hand. 

“He’d be so proud to see you sitting there” she said softly, reading Ben’s thoughts. “And so would Leia”

Ben smiled and squeezed her hand gently.

“Come on, Scavenger. Before I change my mind” he teased, smiling happily as he watched the happiness that filled her eyes as she fired up the Falcon and took off into the sky above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...but they are off on an adventure!


	18. Chapter 18

_”Ben!” He shouted a warning. “Don’t do that! Chewie stop him!”_

_The Wookie wailed and took off down the winding corridors of the Falcon after the toddler._

_“Han, relax” Leia laughed softly as came to sit in Chewie’s now vacated chair, her eyes filled with happiness as she looked towards her husband._

_“The kid’s going to break something, he’s -“_

_“- just a little boy excited to be on his Father’s ship,” she insisted._

_“There’s dangerous things onboard, what if he -“_

_“Well, firstly -“ Leia began, interrupting her husband. “I told you to hide away anything he could hurt himself with” she gave him a look of warning. “And secondly, he’s not going to touch anything. He’s just exploring. This is going to be his ship one day”_

_Han sighed, knowing his wife was right._

_“Kinda scary this whole parenting business, huh?” he sat back in his chair, looking out at the expanse of space before him._

_Leia laughed at that and leaned over to brush a soft kiss to her husband’s lips._

_“Scarier than facing the entire Empire” she agreed and Han smiled that crooked smile that made her fall in love with him all over again._

_“Now go find your son, you promised you were going to let him ‘help’ fly the Falcon”_

_“Yes, Princess” Han smiled and stood from his seat, leaning down to kiss his wife before disappearing from the cockpit._

_Leia smiled happily as she heard her husband’s voice as he tracked down their son. “No Ben, don’t pull Chewie’s fur!”_

—-

Ben had never imagined he would be standing on the Falcon ever again. 

He remembered how in awe he had been with the ship every time he had boarded it as a child. He remembered the way his Father taught him to appreciate every part of the Falcon.

_”She may not look like much, but she’s bested the Empire. Twice.” Han had smiled proudly, gently caressing the worn leather of the bench._

Ben smiled at the memory. This ship was filled with them. He could feel his Father’s presence in everything he touched. 

This had been his Father’s home. The most important woman in Han Solo’s life. Until the Falcon had brought him to Leia, of course. 

“Are you okay?”

Rey’s soft voice broke him out of his memories and he glanced up, offering her a small smile, before nodding. 

Rey returned his smile and reached out for him, her fingers gently squeezing his arm. She knew he was thinking about his parents, and she knew the ache in his chest at the thought. 

“This is where they fell in love” he whispered.

“Hmm?”

“My Mother, she acted as though she hated him. He was reckless and cocky. He’d only ever cared about himself and this ship…”

Rey smiled softly as she thought about the Han she knew. She may not have known him long but his love for the Falcon had been clear. 

“...but no matter what, he always came back, he was always there for her” 

Ben smiled sadly. 

“He told me once that he thought he’d never have room in his heart for a girl other than the Falcon. But then he’d looked at her, my Mother, sitting beside him in the cockpit of the ship he’d called his home for so long, and he’d realised then that this was it. He’d found a new home”

“Ben…” she whispered, eyes searching his. This rare sight of emotion from his was touching.

Being back on the Falcon, it must have felt so strange to Ben. She hadn’t really thought about just how many memories with his family he must have on this ship. 

“Being a nobody, a smuggler, one day and then going on an adventure and falling in love with a Princess the next” he smiled, he’d never really appreciated the story of his parents before but now he did. They had come from such different worlds, but after coming together had forged a new world, a new Galaxy where people like them were allowed to fall in love, and raise their family in peace. “Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah…” she said softly, her mind racing. “Crazy…”

It didn’t sound all that different from a story close to her own heart. Except this time it were a scavenger not a smuggler, and a Prince not a Princess. 

—-

Their trip to Nal Hutta didn’t take long. Once they were in hyperspace it was pretty simple and Rey didn’t mind that Ben was wandering around the ship, letting his memories come back. 

It wasn’t until they were about to leave hyperspace that she called him. 

“Any idea where we should land?” she asked as he took the seat beside her once again. 

“Bilbousa, the main city,” he explained. “It would probably be best to land on the outskirs. This place is the criminal underbelly of the Galaxy. They’ll know this ship and we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves”

Rey nodded as they pulled out of hyperspace and headed towards the planet.

—

“Okay this place makes Jakku smell wonderful…”

Ben laughed at the way Rey scrunched up her nose. It was adorable. 

“Did something die?” she asked, the disgust evident on her face.

Ben smiled, “Let’s just hope we don’t meet the Hutts. They bathe in this stuff”

Rey looked disgusted and Ben couldn’t help but laugh. 

“What is wrong with these people?”

“Trust me, if we come across them then their smell will be the least of our worries”

The trek into the city didn’t take as long as Ben had expected and the closer they got the weaker the pungent smell was, all the pollution of the city drowning it out. 

“Put up your hood” Ben instructed softly. “The less noticeable we are, the better” 

Rey nodded and did as he said, tugging her cloak tighter around her to hide the lightsaber at her waist. 

The city was crawling with all sorts of species, most of them Rey didn’t even recognise. 

“All the people in masks…” she asked softly. 

“Bounty Hunters” he finished her thought with a nod. 

“I imagine there’s quite a bounty on the former Supreme Leader…”

“Perhaps not as high as the bounty I had put on you…” Rey glanced at him. “Sorry about that...but I did _really_ want to find you” 

“Well, I suppose you’ll have to be my Jedi Protector to make up for it,” she teased, which brought a smile to Ben’s face - he was no Jedi but he would protect Rey with everything in him. Not that she needed it. 

Ben led her through the winding roads of the city and Rey realised she had never seen anywhere quite like it. All manner of vicious looking creatures stalked through the streets, vendors lined each corner calling out in various alien tongues as they tried to sell their products and worst of all the poor huddled in doorways, clinging to one another. 

Rey gravitated towards them, her heart aching at the suffering she felt.

“Come on” Ben reached out, steering her away. “We can’t help them…”

“But -“

“I know” he could feel the pain too. “We have to stick to our mission” 

Rey nodded sadly, trying to wipe the look of the children from her face as she followed Ben into a nearby saloon. 

As they walked through the door she was hit by the dizzying smell of alcohol that she was convinced must have been soaked into the walls it was so strong. If she had thought it had been warm outside this was something entirely different. The humid air of the city mixed with the sweat of the many bodies crammed into the saloon was starting to rival Jakku temperatures. 

Ben pushed through the crowd towards the bar with Rey following close behind.

“Are you just using this as an excuse to take me out for a drink, Solo?” She teased as she watched Ben get the bartender’s attention and order two glasses of who knows what. She soon discovered that it looked even less appetising than it had sounded as two glasses of some kind of tar like liquid landed in front of them. 

“If I were to take you out, Rey, it’d be to somewhere with a little more class than this place don’t you think?” She smiled and his heart fluttered. “And besides, it’d involve food…”

“Hmm, you really do know the way to my heart”

Ben smiled softly, his stomach flipping. He hoped that one day he would complete that treacherous path to Rey’s heart.

“Drink…” he urged softly and Rey scrunched up her nose once more. 

“I’m not touching that”

“It’s not so bad” he shrugged and lifted his own glass to his lips. 

“Just so you know I’m never kissing you ever again” she hissed, staring in disgust as he drank it. 

“It’s really not that bad, Rey. Give it a try”

“I’m fine as I am, thank you” 

She turned her head away from the drink and Ben thought that she looked just like the Princess he knew she could be in another life. 

“You’re trying to get me drunk”

Ben laughed heartily at that. 

“I’m not a scoundrel”

“You _are_ your Father’s son” she pointed out and he smirked. It brought out the Han Solo in him and her heart fluttered. She loved seeing Ben carefree.

“Have you ever even tried anything alcoholic?” He asked with a raised eyebrow as he took her glass and drank that too. 

“I prefer to keep my wits about me”

He rolled his eyes at that, the smile still very much on his face. 

“You should let loose once in a while, _Princess_ ” 

She hated the teasing tone of his voice.

(She also loved it)

“What are we doing here anyway, if it’s not to try to get me drunk?” 

_That’s it. Focus on the mission, Rey, and not how nice his smile is_

“Waiting” he replied simply. 

“For what?”

“I’m not sure yet”

“Ben…”

She rolled her eyes. 

“Rey, sometimes the best way to gather information is to just wait, and overhear it. Let it come to you”

She couldn’t hear anything in this place. She couldn’t even focus her own thoughts. 

They stood quietly by the bar and she could tell from Ben’s face that he was tuning in to the conversations around him.

She realised then just how educated Ben Solo must have been. He had grown up the son of a politician and Resistance General. 

Ben was smart and he was inquisitive. It shouldn’t surprise her that he could understand so many languages. 

Rey had taught herself a lot from her scavenged datapad but none of the languages that buzzed around them now were familiar to her. 

In fact, they were so unfamiliar that it took a while for Rey to realise that someone was talking to her. 

“Sorry, I don’t know -“ she began as she stared into the face of an unfamiliar looking species. “Hey, get off me!” 

She pushed him away and then the sound of the alien language filled her ears once more, but this time it came from Ben, and he sounded angry.

“I _said_ she is not for sale” he repeated, this time in basic.

The look in his eyes scared her a little. Even as Kylo Ren she had never seen him look so menacing. 

Before she knew what was happening, Ben had drawn his lightsaber and the whole bar grew silent except for the hum of the blue light of his weapon and then every blaster in the place was on them.

Rey might not have been able to understand the alien languages but she could decipher ‘Jedi’ and as if on instinct she ignited her own lightsaber. 

She looked to Ben, trying to connect with him through the bond and figure out how they were meant to get out of this. 

They were completely surrounded, it was becoming quite clear.

Through the bond they agreed their strategy, but then everything went black. 

—-

When she woke her head was spinning. 

“Ben…”

She could feel him through the Force. He was in pain too. 

She opened her eyes just as she was pulled to her feet by a pig-like guard, her eyes immediately falling on Ben, held by another of the guards. 

The look in his eyes said ‘It’s fine, we’ll be fine’ and somehow that was all she needed.

Ben’s face was void of emotion as they were marched through into a large throne room. Except it wasn’t like your typical throne room. There was a long table that circled around half of the room, with each space taken by giant slug-like creatures.

“The Grand Hutt Council -“

 _So these are the Hutts_ thought Rey as she took in the sight of the hideous creatures leering at her.

“- demands to know where you got these lightsabers”

The translator droid was not unlike C3PO.

“And is willing to offer a one time deal. Your life, in exchange for the two weapons, and the girl” 

For a moment Rey was sure he would accept. 

She had been traded before as a child. What was different now? 

Ben Solo, that’s what.

“A tempting offer, but really my life wouldn’t be worth living without her in it. So I’m afraid I’ll have decline” he said it so nonchalantly that it took a moment for Rey to really understand the magnitude of Ben’s words.

“As for those” he nodded to the lightsabers which rest in front of the biggest Hutt, presumably the leader. “You wanted to know where they came from?” 

The Hutts sneered, leaning forwards with intrigue. “My Grandfather, Anakin Skywalker. Though you may have known him better as Darth Vader…”

A hush descended across the room.

“The other? I think you know that owner a little more intimately. My Mother, Leia Organa the H-“

“-Huttslayer”

The largest of the Hutt’s, the one who sat directly ahead of Ben and Rey, had finished the sentence in the basic tongue. 

A mixture of emotions flashed across his eyes, fear, anger, disgust and terror. 

There was an outcry from the others and in the confusion Ben called the lightsaber to his hand, igniting it and turning to cut Rey’s cuffs. Once free she took the saber from him and returned the favour. 

The second saber came flying through the air, igniting as Ben’s hand closed around it, and side by side they faced the council and their guards. 

“The Great Leader of the Hutts has proclaimed that you will be executed for your insubordination” came the voice of the droid.

Ben glanced to Rey with a small smile, “Seems a fair deal?”

Rey smiled in response. She couldn’t possibly explain how good it felt to be standing by his side in battle. 

They turned, back-to-back, and faced the oncoming pig-like guards. 

Fighting alongside Ben felt like having an extra limb. For every blow she couldn’t deliver he was there. They were so in tune through the bond that they may as well have been one person as they cut down their enemies. 

As a fresh wave of guards raced through the doors something snapped inside Rey. She reached out with the intention of force pushing them away but instead blue lightning emitted from her fingers, instantly frying their enemies.

She felt Ben still beside her and a sudden feeling of power surged through her. She could destroy all of the Hutt’s with just the slightest movement of her hand. 

She stepped forward, her eyes fixed on the largest of the Hutts. She could feel the power burning in her hand. It wouldn’t take a lot to take down this whole palace. 

“I’m prepared to offer you a one time deal,” she said, confidence oozing through her tone. 

“The Grand Hutt Council wishes to hear your offer…”

Ben smiled to himself at the irony. 

“In exchange for your lives, you’ll give me all of the information you have on the First Order” 

“The First Order is done” one of the Hutt’s to the left of her spoke in broken basic.

Rey’s eyes shifted to him. 

“The remains of the First Order” she stepped forward. “ _Where_ are they?”

Ben could feel the power that was pulsing through Rey and it was overwhelming. How could she channel that much power? 

“The Grand Hutt Council would like to accept your offer” 

Rey’s head lifted to the droid as it spoke and nodded. 

Ben immediately felt the rage inside Rey die down. 

Rey stepped forward, powering down her lightsaber and clipping it to her waist. The largest of the Hutts beckoned her closer and as she moved a hologram emerged from the table in front of him. 

“This is Lieutenant Tem Jandi of the First Order. I implore all allies in the Outer Rim to make contact. The Rebel Scum have wiped out our fleet. All allies of the First Order are now in danger and must band together to destroy what remains of the Resistance”

As the holo faded out Ben felt the anger surge through Rey once again. 

“You said you’d tell us where they are” 

The group of Hutt’s laughed. Rey’s anger raged.

“The Grand Hutt Council remind you that you simply asked for all the information that they had on the First Order. This is that information”

Ben could feel the anger growing inside Rey and he stepped towards her. 

_That’s enough, Rey_

The sound of his voice in her head helped to calm her. 

He reached out and took the holopad. 

“We’ll see ourselves out” he said simply, turning and walking for the exit, Rey by his side.

He could feel the greedy eyes of the Hutts on them as they walked away, and he knew why Rey felt so tempted to finish what she had started.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the rating on this has been changed and smut added to the tags. 
> 
> So if you're not into that I'd suggest skipping this chapter. And if you are, well, I hope it's somewhat worthwhile!

Their journey back to the Falcon was long. Rey was silent throughout it and whenever Ben tried to reach her through the bond she pushed him away. If he spoke to her she barely responded. 

And so Ben decided to focus on getting them back to the Falcon in one piece. He didn’t trust the Hutts, and he wouldn’t have been surprised to find they’d sent a bounty hunter after them. 

When they reached the ship Rey marched up the ramp ahead of him and by the time he was inside and had lifted the ramp she was nowhere to be found. 

“Rey?”

There was no response and Ben knew better than to try to approach a woman who didn’t want to be around anyone. 

With a deep breath he headed for the cockpit, but stalled. Just looking at the pilot’s chair caused a wave of memories. 

_He was sat on his Father’s lap, pudgy little fingers reaching for the console as the ship exited hyperspace._

_“Mommy, mommy! I ffeww the ship!” Four year old Ben had shouted to his Mother, a toothy grin on his face._

_“Well done, Ben!” she had beamed back just as Han had hoisted him into his arms._

_“Good job, kid” his Father had smiled proudly as he placed him down in the seat. “One day, the Falcon’s gonna be yours and you’ll be able to fly her anywhere you want”_

_The toddler had stared up at his Dad with disbelief. “Mine?”_

_“That’s right” Leia smiled and reached for her husband’s hand. “Captain Ben Solo of the Millenium Falcon” she’d said proudly._

Close to thirty years later and the chair still felt too big for him. 

Han Solo had big boots to fill and Ben wasn’t sure he was up to the task.

Ben sighed, “Come on, baby” he muttered under his breath, hand caressing the ship’s console, remembering the way his Dad had spoken to his beloved ship. “It’s just you and me now”

He could do this.

He fired the Falcon up, and everything his Father had ever taught him about flying this ship came back to his mind. A small smile graced Ben’s face as the ship warmed to his touch and ascended into the sky above. 

\---

Once they were far enough from Nal Hutta for Ben to be sure they were safe he decided he needed to bite the bullet and find Rey. 

It didn’t take too long to discover she was in the crew’s quarters at the other end of the ship, curled up on one of the bunks. 

“Can I come in?” he asked gently, leaning against the doorway.

“It’s your ship”

“I don’t know. From what I’ve heard it’s probably yours…”

She didn’t respond.

“If you want me to leave you alone, I will”

Ben knew better than to push Rey. She would talk to him when she was ready. 

Still silence.

“I just need to know that you’re okay?” he whispered, eyes watching her sadly. His heart ached whenever she was in pain, and he knew it was more than just the connection between them.

“I messed up, Ben” she whispered, her voice breaking.

“What? How?”

“I lost control. I could’ve killed them”

“But you didn’t. And besides, they _were_ intending to kill us”

“That’s not the way of the Jedi. You don’t kill just because you have the power to”

Ben sighed softly and stepped into the room. 

“This is about the lightning, isn’t it?” he asked as he sat on the edge of her bunk. 

“It’s a Sith trick”

“You need to stop thinking that way”

Ben shifted his body and lay down behind her on the small bunk, gathering her in his arms.

“The power that you possess, it transcends the Jedi and the Sith. You have the light side and the dark flowing through you” Rey tensed at that, “You are both sides, Rey, and the balance in between”

He had seen her power up close. And he knew it didn’t define who she was. 

“It’s terrifying” she whispered.

“I know. But I’ll help you” he promised. “Together we can figure out how to control it…”

“This isn’t your burden to bear”

“We’re a team now. We’ll figure this out together, I promise you”

She smiled at that and finally relaxed into his arms. 

“Are you hungry?”

Rey rolled her eyes and turned to look at him. 

“That’s a stupid question”

Ben grinned, he should have known. 

“Go wash the stench of that vile planet off of you. I’ll see what supplies we have onboard” 

He brushed a kiss to her jaw and got off of the bunk. 

“Ben…” her voice caused him to turn back to her. “Thank you”

“For what?”

“Believing in me”

Ben smiled and nodded.

“You’ve done the same for me”

\---

“Mm, that smells good”

Ben looked up as Rey walked into the Falcon’s lounge. She looked more content and relaxed now, her hair free of any ties, dressed in her simple training clothes, a loose pair of pants and a simple white shirt that barely had sleeves.

“You lived on Jakku for too long,” he laughed. 

Rey rolled her eyes and sat down. 

“The food there must have been really bad, because this looks terrible,” he insisted as he put the food down on the table and joined her in the booth. 

“This bread -” she ripped a large piece off and placed it on her own plate. “- this looks so much tastier than the rations we earnt on Jakku”

“It’s a miracle you survived so long”

Rey smiled and took a bite out of her bread. 

“Not all of us grew up on _Chandrila_ ” she rolled her eyes teasingly.

“Do you even know the first thing about Chandrila?”

Rey laughed and shook her head as she took another bite. “Don’t need to, I know it’ll have been fancy. Only fancy people are so picky about their food”

“I’m not picky, I just have good taste” Ben argued.

“Hmm” she scoffed and focused on eating for a few moments more. “Perhaps you’ll take me there one day?”

Ben’s heart leapt. The thought of taking Rey to visit his homeworld did something to his insides. 

“They don’t let Scavengers in, sorry” he quipped and focused on his own food. 

“So, where to next?” Rey questioned once she had finished eating her food (and what was left of his!)

“I’m not sure” he sighed and sat back against the booth. “I’ve got the holo plugged into the scanner to see if we can trace its origin,” he explained. “But it’s going to take some time, at least overnight”

Rey nodded, “But you think it could give us something?”

Ben shrugged. “It’s worth a shot”

He could feel Rey’s worries through the bond.

“Today was not a failure, Rey” he insisted. “Even if we don’t get a trace from the holo, we know who’s claiming to lead the First Order now. That’s a lot more than we had yesterday”

“Yeah, I guess”

He reached out and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

“Alright, I’m going to shower the stench of the Hutts off of me” he said as he stood up.

“Good, you were making me feel nauseous” Rey teased. 

“I think that might have just been that bread” Ben replied with a soft smile before disappearing down the corridors to the fresher.

\---

Ben didn’t take too long in the shower, he could sense Rey’s uneasiness about her powers and he didn’t want her to feel alone. 

He quickly dried himself off, pulled on a pair of loose pants and one of the sleeveless tops that Rey had mentioned she liked him in. (He definitely had not started wearing them more often for training or sleeping since…)

When he stepped out of the fresher he felt the bond spark to life, and he knew exactly where to find Rey. He crossed the hallway into the crew’s quarters and then to the smaller, private bunk off to the side. 

“Hi” he smiled softly as he found her already laying on the bunk. 

Rey smiled in return and it warmed his insides. 

“I thought maybe it would be better to stay in here tonight?” she suggested as she stood from the bunk and walked over to him. “It’s bigger than the other bunks on the ship” 

Ben nodded in response as her hands went to his shoulders. 

“Thank you for today”

“What part?”

“All of it” she shrugged, her hands reaching for his face, her thumbs brushing across his jaw. “I had a lot of fun - well, apart from the bit where we nearly died” she laughed softly and it was the most beautiful sound. “I mean just exploring somewhere new, with you. It was fun” Ben smiled, “And - and for calming me down when I felt like I was losing control”

Her eyes searched his and he was sure that if he got lost in them he wouldn’t care. 

“You mean a lot to me, Ben”

She kissed him then. Soft and gentle. Taking her time to explore every inch of his mouth and letting him do the same. 

His hands fell to her waist, holding her close.

When she broke away there was a look in her eyes that he wasn’t sure he had ever seen before. A hunger. 

She lowered her head and her lips brushed against the hollow of his neck as her hands fell to the hem of his top, wasting no time in pulling it over his head. 

He didn’t even have time to question her actions before her lips were on his once more. This time there was a desperation to the way she kissed him. 

And when she next broke away it was to reach for the hem of her own shirt.

“Rey?”

For a moment she was worried he didn’t want this but then she felt it through the bond. He did. 

“It’s okay” she whispered, lips brushing his once more. “I want this, Ben” she promised, eyes searching the depths of his. She could see her own desire reflected back in his. “We’re finally alone” They didn’t have to worry about the Resistance finding out about them. “I want this. I want you”

She had thought about it a lot over the last few weeks. Months really. 

This connection that she shared with Ben went beyond the Force. It was everything that she never thought she’d have. 

At first she had been scared of taking things further with him but every day they spent together just made her attraction to him grow stronger. It wasn’t just that he was beautiful (which he was), but it was the way he smiled only for her, the way he defended her so naturally, it was the way that they fit together so perfectly. He was her other half, the second part of her soul, and he was the only person who had ever made her feel this way.

Rey wanted to give him everything, and take everything in return. She wanted to know how it felt to come together this way. To become one with Ben Solo.

“Please, Ben” she bit her lip nervously before taking a deep breath and lifting the thin shirt over her head. 

She was purposefully not wearing anything beneath and she saw Ben swallow, a flicker of hunger flash through his eyes as they shamelessly took in the sight of her bare chest. 

Rey had been trying to build herself up for this but now that she was stood here, topless before him she was terrified. 

What if he was disappointed? What if he -

“Ben” she just about managed to gasp before his lips were on hers and she was lifted into his arms and being placed gently down on the bunk. 

His lips were warm and needy against hers but she kissed him back with everything in her. 

When he broke away she couldn’t help the soft groan that escaped her as his lips kissed a pattern across her collarbone and down her chest.

“You are _so_ beautiful” he whispered and it took her breath away as his fingers tentatively brushed the sensitive skin of her breasts, gently cupping and kneading them.

Rey groaned in response, she hadn’t really anticipated how good his touch was going to feel. 

“Ben…”

His lips caught hers and stopped her from saying anything more. He was driving her crazy. 

When his hands left her chest she didn’t have any time to feel disappointment as they moved to her waist and began hastily unfastening her pants. 

She liked this feral side to him. It felt familiar. She had seen it in Kylo Ren when he took what he wanted. Except this time it was very much all Ben. And Ben wanted _her_.

She wanted Ben.

Rey held her breath as he rid her of the rest of her clothes, more nervous than she had ever been now that she was completely bare before him. 

She could feel his eyes shamelessly taking in the sight of her, but when his eyes lifted and met hers Rey knew she had nothing to be ashamed of. He was completely infatuated by her, she could feel it in their bond. 

She swallowed and took a deep breath before she reached for his waist, fingers working to free him of his own pants. She managed to keep her eyes fixed on his, overwhelmed by the intensity in the depths of his beautiful eyes, as she pulled off the rest of his clothing. 

But she couldn’t help the gasp that escaped as she felt his hard length, now free of restraint, come to rest against her thigh. 

Rey offered the tiniest of smiles before she reached up, cupping his cheek and bringing his lips down to hers. The way that he kissed her now sent desire burning through her entire body, and she was sure it didn’t help that his skin was pressing against hers in the most delicious of ways. 

Ben kissed her slowly, his tongue tangling with hers, as he took his time. So distracted by his kiss she barely noticed the way his hand had slid down her body, pushing aside her thigh. By the time she realised, it was too late to do anything, sucking in a breath as his fingers slid across her slick folds.

“Kriff…” she whispered against his lips but he just kissed her deeper, silencing her moans as his fingers continued their ministrations. 

This felt so much better than anyone had ever said it would. 

Back on Jakku she had heard people talk. She knew what she needed to do to make him feel good, but no one had ever said how good this could feel for her. Only that it would hurt the first time she gave herself to someone. So why was he taking so good care of her?

 _Because you deserve it_ she felt his response against her mind and couldn’t help but smile. 

“Ben…” she whispered as she broke free of his kiss. “Let me touch you”

She felt the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. She could tell he was nervous too, but he wanted her to touch him. Badly. 

Rey took a deep breath and reached between them, her eyes widening as her fingers wrapped gently around his cock. Honestly, it was bigger than she had expected and now she understood why other girls had said that it would hurt. 

But she didn’t care. She would give him anything. 

Rey lifted her eyes to meet his as she carefully started to pump the shaft. She really wasn’t sure if what she was doing was right but judging by the soft groan that escaped his throat as she touched him this couldn’t be going too wrong. 

“Rey…” he whispered softly as her confidence grew and she increased her speed. “Rey” The sound of her name on his tongue once more got her attention. “You need to stop. Otherwise I won’t last”

“Oh...sorry”

Ben smiled brightly at that. “Please never be sorry for _that_ ” he whispered as he brought her lips to his once more. 

Her kissed her softly and deeply and her whole body felt on fire from his touch and the gentleness in which he kissed her. 

“Ben…” she whispered when they finally broke apart. “Please, I need to feel you inside me…” She had come too far now not to get what she wanted. 

“Are you sure?” 

The tenderness, the worry in his eyes made her heart leap. She really couldn’t believe that this was the man she had been so afraid of not two years ago.

Rey nodded in response, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life”

Ben smiled at that and brushed his lips to hers, then to her jaw. 

“It might hurt a little…” he gave her another chance to change her mind but she just tightened her grasp on him.

“It’s okay. You’ll be careful” she whispered, spreading her legs a little further as he settled between them.

She felt him reach between them and her eyes fell closed as he lined himself up at her entrance. 

“Rey…” his voice trembled with anticipation, with everything he felt for the woman beneath him. 

“Look at me…” he begged and she complied. Hazel eyes meeting the dark depths of his. She had never felt so connected to someone in her life. 

The moment he entered her she had to stifle a cry, it hurt as his length stretched her walls but he was gentle and it was over quickly. 

The intense way that he was gazing down at her made her shudder. His expression was full of love and admiration and it knocked the breath out of her.

Rey’s eyes fell closed as she felt Ben begin to move. The slow drag of him inside her was delicious. She could feel her body stretch to accommodate him with every movement and it was perfect. He was perfect.

“Ben” she groaned softly, her arms reaching up to tangle around his neck and pull his lips down to meet hers.

She kissed him passionately. Trying to put every damn terrifying thing she felt for him into the kiss and in return his thrusts increased in pace, hitting her in just the right spot.

Her moans were stifled against his lips but she knew he could tell how good he was making her feel, because the bond buzzed around them and she could feel everything that he felt as he slowly drove her into oblivion. 

It was over quicker than it began and as she felt his movements quicken she knew what was coming. 

“Harder, Ben” she begged, needing to reach her own climax too. 

He obeyed, adjusting his body so that he drove into her from a more tortuous angle and she found herself wrapping her legs around his waist, desperate to keep him close. 

Ben’s breathing was more laboured now, his brow slick with sweat and she didn’t think she had ever seen a more beautiful sight than his muscles moving above her as he brought their bodies together in the most intimate of ways.

“Rey…” he could barely choke out her name. 

“You feel so good” she promised, unable to suppress the groan that escaped as she felt his hand come between them, where they joined. 

_What are y- oh!_

The way his thumb circled her clit was going to send her over the edge, and it took her a moment to realise that’s exactly what he was planning.

Rey fell limp in his arms as her release came crashing over her, whiteness took over her vision and her entire body felt on fire.

“Ben…” she whispered his name through her heavy breaths, her fingers digging into his back as she grasped him close.

She was just about aware of the way he still thrusted deeply and then warmth flooded through her as he came inside her. 

“Kriff, Rey” She thought her name on his lips had never felt so good.

His whole body tensed and she tightened her arms around him, pulling him down to her body, desperate to keep this feeling. 

As their breathing began to even out Rey felt her fingers desperately threading through his hair, needing to touch him, needing to know this was real. 

She felt a soft brush of his lips against her neck before he was rolling off of her, a happy sigh escaping him. 

Rey nervously turned on her side to look at him. His chest was rising and falling heavily and his eyes were closed but he looked happy. When his eyes opened and met hers Rey felt absolute pure happiness burst through her chest. 

The way Ben was looking at her - she couldn’t even explain it. Slowly she saw the happiest of toothy grins spread across his face and she laughed as she returned it. 

If she died right now it wouldn’t matter, because nothing would ever top the feeling of happiness that consumed her at the sight of Ben Solo’s smile. 

“That was…”

“I know,” he replied, the smile still taking over his whole face. 

They just stared at each other for another few moments before Ben shifted and tugged her into his arms. 

“Why did we wait so long to do that?” she asked stupidly, pressing a few kisses against his chest. 

“I have absolutely no idea”

She laughed happily, lifting her head so that she could see that happiness in his eyes once more. 

“You’re amazing” she whispered, brushing her lips against his one last time before her head came to rest against his chest. 

“You’re not so bad yourself” he teased in response and Rey smiled, pressing a kiss above his heart before closing her eyes. 

“I’m so glad I’m here with you” 

“Me too” he replied softly, his arms tightening around her as she let the days exhaustion finally overtake her. 

As she fell asleep Rey realised she had never been so happy in her entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the [floorplan](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Millennium_Falcon?file=MillenniumFalconSchematic-OWM.png) of the Falcon I used for reference in case that helps


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!! I think I exhausted all of my inspiration by writing so quickly - plus I reached the point where I no longer knew what was going to happen in the story 🤨
> 
> This one is a bit of a smaller chapter but hopefully sets up for me to start writing some more soon. As always, thanks for your kind words. I’m so glad to hear people are enjoying this!

When Ben woke the next morning Rey was pressed tightly against him. A soft smile graced his lips as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his arm tightening around her waist. 

Rey’s body shifted against his and she lifted her head to smile brightly at him. 

Ben couldn’t imagine ever waking to anything more stunning. 

“Hi” she whispered, eyes searching his, full of hope and happiness.

“Hi” he smiled in return, eyes falling closed as she reached up and kissed him, slow and long. 

A satisfied moan escaped her when she finally pulled away.

“Last night was...” she whispered.

“I know” Ben finished her sentence and she grinned.

Ben let out a happy sigh, his fingers tracing a gentle pattern against the bare skin of her back. He could happily stay here forever. 

“So, your Mother killed the great Jabba the Hutt?”

Ben laughed at her question, it really wasn’t what he had been expecting. Yet it was so _very_ Rey. 

“Payback for almost killing my Dad”

Rey smiled, “Wow, nothing says I love you like I’ll murder a crime lord for you” 

Ben smiled at that. 

“You can see why their story is one of the great romances of the Galaxy” he replied amusedly.

Rey shifted, her body moving closer to his - if that was even possible. 

“Would you have strangled a Hutt to protect me?” She asked almost teasingly, hazel eyes peering up at him. 

“If I thought you needed protecting”

Ben knew she didn’t. She could have taken them all out today had she wanted to. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone, or anything, quite as powerful as Rey.

“You seemed pretty protective when we were in the bar...” she pointed out, a smile stretching across her face as she realised his face was reddening. “What did he say? That he wanted to buy me?”

Ben grunted in response. 

“Like a slave?”

“I think it was more that he wanted to buy a few hours with you” 

“Oh” this time her face reddened. “And how much would you pay for a few hours with me?” She asked teasingly. 

“I don’t think there’s enough credits in the Galaxy to afford it”

Rey laughed and nudged him playfully. 

“That much, huh? And I gave you last night for free?”

Ben smiled and brushed his lips to hers. “I’m a lucky man”

“Yes, you are” she smiled and pressed her lips to his chest. It felt nice, Ben could stay here forever, he could -

“Okay I’m hungry”

Ben rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically at her words. Again, so _very_ Rey.

“Here I was thinking I could spend the day in bed with you” 

“Afraid not, Solo. You should know by now that food is my first love”

Ben watched her amusedly for a few moments before reluctantly untangling his arm from around her and sitting up in the bunk. 

“I suppose I best go prepare your feast then, Princess” he said sarcastically as he pulled on the pair of pants they had hastily discarded last night. Rey couldn’t help the way she watched his body. 

“Stop calling me that” she said with a roll of her eyes. 

“Whatever you say, sweetheart” he replied teasingly, leaning in to brush his lips to hers before he got out of the bunk. 

There was a stupid smile on Rey’s face as she watched him leave the room and she lay back down with a happy sigh. 

_Pull yourself together, Rey_ said a voice in her head but she decided to ignore it.

For the first time in her life she didn’t need to be afraid. This connection she had with Ben was not a bad thing. He wasn’t going to hurt her and she vowed to open her heart to it. To him. 

\---

By the time Rey, showered and dressed, walked through to the Falcon’s lounge area Ben had finished preparing some breakfast. 

He looked good doing such ordinary things, she thought as she leant against the doorway. It definitely helped that he was still shirtless. 

“You know that sneaking up on me doesn’t work, right?” he lifted his eyes to meet hers with a smirk. “Not unless you learn to properly close the connection” 

“Maybe I don’t want to close the connection?”

Ben scoffed, “Sounds like you don’t know how to” he teased.

Rey rolled her eyes and pushed herself from the doorway, taking a seat in the booth. 

“Any luck with scanning the holo?” she asked through a mouthful of her food. 

Ben raised an eyebrow and Rey rolled her eyes and swallowed her food before speaking once more.

“ _Sorry_ , any lucky with scanning the holo?” she asked again, sarcasm tinging her tone. 

Ben smiled. 

“Yeah actually. It’s showing as originating in the Naboo System”

“Never heard of it”

“It’s a strange place for the First Order to be. Naboo has been loyal to the Republic since its inception” he explained. “And the planet itself is well protected. I can’t see how they could have landed so many of their ships without being noticed”

“Travelling as refugees” Rey replied simply. When Ben furrowed his brow she continued. “It’s what they did when they infiltrated the base” she reminded him. “It would be the best way of gathering undetected, and on a well protected planet - you’d be quite safe because why would we look there for them?”

Ben thought about it a moment and nodded. “Makes some sense I suppose. But it seems strange that they wouldn’t mask their signal through the holo”

Rey shrugged and stole some of the bread from his plate, “Maybe they couldn’t. Presumably they are using stolen tech to transmit. Plus, if they are asking for allies they’d need a way to be traced?”

“It seems risky”

“It’s a lead” she said simply. “We should check it out, shouldn’t we?”

“What if we replied to their message?”

“What?”

“We transmit back. We say we’re allies, that we want to help?”

“How’s that going to work?”

“They don’t know that Kylo Ren is dead…”

“Ben…”

“It could work Rey. If they think I’m still on their side it would draw them all out, we could end this”

Rey sighed, she knew it could work, but she hated the idea of him being Kylo Ren again. Even if it was a pretence.

“I don’t know, I -”

She didn’t get the chance to complete her sentence because the Falcon’s console started beeping, alerting them to an incoming holo. 

Rey stood and walked through to the cockpit, accepting the incoming message. Within seconds the faces of Finn and Poe appeared on the screen.

“Rey! You’re alright?” Finn looked relieved.

“Where the hell are you?” Poe looked agitated. 

Rey swallowed, eyes flicking between her two friends. “I know I shouldn’t have left without saying anything but -”

A frown crossed Finn’s face and he narrowed his eyes, “What the hell is going on?”

She glanced behind her and saw that Ben had joined her. Ben, who still hadn’t put a shirt on.

All she had to be glad about right now was that the holos didn’t show colour, because she knew her face would be very very red.

“Whilst we are working hard to hunt the First Order down you two are on a romantic adventure?” Poe sounded pissed.

“Poe. We’re searching for the First Order!” she insisted. _And sleeping together_

Her friends didn’t look convinced.

“Rey look, I don’t know what is or isn’t happening but there’s more important things to focus on”

“I know that!”

Finn looked furious. 

“Please tell me you did not leave us just so you could be _alone_ with him?”

Rey felt guilty as hell. That had been part of the decision.

“We’ve discovered a transmission from the First Order’s new leader”

“What?” 

That got Finn and Poe’s attention.

She was so thankful for Ben’s rational words because she couldn’t think straight. All she could think about was how she was a terrible friend for abandoning the others so she could be alone with the boy she liked.

“We’ve traced it to the Naboo System, but I’m not convinced it came from there”

Poe nodded, “We’d know if it came from Naboo” he agreed with Ben and Rey rolled her eyes. 

“I think we should go to Naboo and find out”

“Rey, we’ve discussed this. There’s another way”

“What other way?” It was Finn’s voice this time, and as much as Rey hated Ben’s other plan she was at least a little relieved that this meant Finn had forgotten about Ben being topless. If only for a moment. 

“I reach out for them. Tell them Kylo Ren lives” Rey stood beside him shaking her head but Ben continued. “If they think I’m alive they might believe that they can end the Resistance, it might bring them out of hiding long enough for you to end them”

“Oh no way!” Finn was shaking his head too. “No, that is a _terrible_ plan”

“See, I told you!” 

Ben sighed heavily. 

“It could work” 

Ben looked up at the holo, his eyes meeting Poe’s. 

“I mean, it could be dangerous. But if Ben’s happy to take the risk then -”

“I am” Ben agreed and Poe nodded. 

“Ben, _no_ it’s too dangerous”

“All of this is dangerous, Rey” he argued. “We both know that this is the best way to flush the First Order out”

Poe nodded again. “And even if they know he’s joined our side, they’ll come for him”

That did _not_ fill Rey with confidence.

“Your plan is to use him as bait??” she snapped. “No, I won’t let you”

“It’s my choice, Rey…”

“This is not your burden to bear”

Ben laughed softly at that, “It is”

“We can patch through the message from here, cloak it’s origins. All you need to do is look like him again...:”

Ben looked to Poe and nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. We’ll make contact once we have something to send”

“Okay” Poe offered a small smile. “We’ll speak soon”

As soon as he cut the holo message Rey turned to Ben and shoved him.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do”

Rey shook her head, she was angry, she was upset but most of all she was scared.


End file.
